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May 18, 2009 12:28 PM EDT --
Three ladies were talking.
One says she got stung by a honey bee and her whole hand swelled up.
2nd lady says she got stung by a bumble bee and her whole arm swole up.
3rd says thats nothing, . . .
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October 21, 2008 12:48 PM EDT --
A recruit in boot camp got on the wrong side of the drill instructor and was ordered to do push-ups. As he neared triple digits, an airliner flew overhead.
"I bet you wish you were on that plane, . . .
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October 21, 2008 12:46 PM EDT --
During a re-enlistment interview, the first sergeant asked a soldier if he had considered re-upping in the Army.
"I wouldn't re-enlist if you made me a four-star general, gave me a million . . .
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September 17, 2008 11:18 AM EDT --
A soldier was often away on lengthy tours of duty, leaving his wife to manage five kids by herself.
While he was away, the kids used to sneak into their parents room to sleep. So before shipping . . .
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September 17, 2008 11:13 AM EDT --
I spotted an old friend of mine at the local PX who was a retired sergeant major. As I approached I noticed that he was continually looking up from his wristwatch.
"What are you up to?" . . .
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September 11, 2008 07:34 AM EDT --
At a tea for officers and their wives, the commanding general of a base delivered a seemingly endless oration. A young lieutenant grumbled to the woman sitting beside him, "What a pompous and unbearable . . .
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September 11, 2008 07:33 AM EDT --
During a welcome home ceremony, the soldier's co-workers tied yellow ribbons around numerous trees and hung a huge sign that read "We missed you. Thank God the Iraqis did too!"
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September 08, 2008 08:08 AM EDT --
"Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news," said our platoon sergeant during our morning lineup. "First, the good news. Private Tomkins will be setting the pace on our . . .
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September 08, 2008 08:03 AM EDT --
A young soldier was learning to parachute. He was given the following instructions: Jump when you are told; count to ten and pull the rip cord. In the event that it doesn't open, pull the second chute . . .
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July 31, 2008 08:06 AM EDT --
Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat...
Just before takeoff, a U.S. marine sat down in the aisle seat. . . .
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July 25, 2008 02:45 PM EDT --
One day when a Marine basic training platoon was preparing for a 10-mile road march in 100-degree weather, the drill instructor drove up in a jeep with a radio mounted in the back.
"Who knows . . .
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July 18, 2008 11:24 AM EDT --
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"
Hardy: . . .
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July 17, 2008 02:51 PM EDT --
Our son is in the Army, stationed in Georgia. He invited my husband and I for a visit.
After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in search of an entrance to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly . . .
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July 15, 2008 12:16 PM EDT --
The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific.
When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, . . .
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July 15, 2008 12:05 PM EDT --
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. . . .
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July 14, 2008 04:03 PM EDT --
A soldier, returning to Iraq for the first time since 2003, was impressed by a sociological change. On previous visits he noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands.
. . .
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July 09, 2008 02:40 PM EDT --
A cocky young civilian inspector stopped in front of the storage facility where The Old Gunny was briefing a detail of young Marines.
He interrupted The Old Gunny in mid-sentence, saying, "I . . .
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July 08, 2008 11:30 AM EDT --
The "Old Corps" Marines got together at The Old Gunny's to play poker one night.
After about four hours of drinking and playing, "The Top" grabbed his chest and violently slumped . . .
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July 03, 2008 04:09 PM EDT --
A soldier walked into the ladies department at AAFES and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" . . .
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July 02, 2008 03:18 PM EDT --
* The F-22 Raptor does not get mad if you do a "touch and go."
* The F-22 Raptor does not object to a pre-flight inspection.
* The F-22 Raptor comes with a manual to explain its operation. . . .
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Army Man .
Kansas
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!
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