I'm new here ,   Where has Esq Ray been since 9-20-08.  Am I missing something. Interesting discussion by all. Why did it stop. 

 I'm glad ,   because you took the 5 spot.  : )  that would have been fair.

May I suggest dropping the zero, and the next person could win.  5 is as good as 50, in some cases and better in others. 

In the dark gripped with fear I think upon closing the door

shining hope on the shadows of my mind, I am safe again once more

I don't know if it a pill or not, but couldn't you crush it and mix with chocolate pudding topped with whip cream to swallow.  Just a thought.  Or order in a powder to mix with desserts of your choice.    :  )  

Good morning Danya,  I feel for you and understand. May I suggest a thought. Its hard to not dwelll on the wrongs that have been done but I think it is because self pity is the caring we want others to understand. But, like everything in life, keep it in moderation. Focus more on today because yesterday is gone like money spent at the casino. Today is a new paycheck and tomorrow will be what we add to it.  There are books on how to be a perfect human in  book stores everywhere, as well as the bible. But we as humans don't listen but follow our own thoughts and fantasies of the present want for our selves.  It doesn't make us good or bad just "Human". 

   Now If you were born healthy, as well as beautiful that you are,  you have an even break in life, everything else is possible unless you except less.  Your child is a gift you willl have endless pleasures from if you raise them right.  Expect them to know nothing but what you teach them untill they unfold into there own idenity, but watch it happens early.  Laugh with there mishaps so you build there self esteem. Talk and read to them so they may speak correctly.  Encourge manners and selfconfidence with love.  Most of all, like your self and others will too. We are born with possibilites not problems. Problems are out side , possibilities are inside.     God gave women chocolate for bad days I was told,     : )