Heidi Cole's Comments
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Nov 7, 2009 | comments: 31
Heidi Cole Nov 7, 2009, 9:39pm EST
I only use Facebook to connect with my IRL friends and family, so I haven't had any problem finding people on there. I don't "friend" people there that are from Gather, because to me, that is what Gather is for, and facebook is totally different, so I like to keep them separate. Anyway... just my two cents...
Oct 1, 2009 | comments: 12
Heidi Cole Oct 1, 2009, 4:47pm EDT
I got these in an email the other day. Lots of common sense tips for keeping it from spreading. It is harder with kids because they aren't always sanitary, so I might volunteer to take the granddaughter. It should run its course in a couple of days. My nephew got it on Friday and was back in school on Monday. Here's the email:

H1N1, like other Influenza A viruses, only infects the upper respiratory tract and proliferates (only) there. The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat.

Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps - not fully highlighted in most official communications - can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.

5. Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). if you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. Drink as much of warm liquids as you can. Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

All these are simple ways to prevent, within means of most households, and certainly much less painful than to wait in long queues outside public hospitals.
Oct 1, 2009 | comments: 19
in reply to a comment by Jennifer F.
Heidi Cole Oct 1, 2009, 4:37pm EDT
Once your kids are in school, yes. But in the preschool days it has been exactly OPPOSITE for me! Now that I have a kindergartner, we are finally making some school friends!
Oct 1, 2009 | comments: 19
in reply to a comment by Barb (Gather Site Ferret) Carlson
Heidi Cole Oct 1, 2009, 3:17pm EDT
On, and don't forget that the early years require 100% of your sanity... which you may or may not ever get back! LOL
Oct 1, 2009 | comments: 19
in reply to a comment by Heidi Cole
Heidi Cole Oct 1, 2009, 3:14pm EDT
Yes, Barb... I do try to be gracious to my friends that only have one kiddo and complain about how hard it is... then I show them my therapist bill and my bottle of antidepressants and jokingly say, "Keep having more, and this too can be you!"

No, seriously, I remember adjusting to my first and just being so at a loss for what to do or how to "fix" him, etc... so I try to offer support. But, some times I just don't say anything at all because I am thinking of how easy it was when all I had was one!
Oct 1, 2009 | comments: 19
Heidi Cole Oct 1, 2009, 3:04pm EDT
Well, more often than not, it is the reality of the situation! Starting from the beginning with a baby and then adding more babies every couple of years and making it to the school-aged years has quite simply been the most exhausting, hardest work I have ever done. I finally have a kindergartner, and also a 3 year old and 1 year old... I used to have tons of friends because I had nothing else to do! Now, it is work just trying to maintain all the relationships that are important to me, but battle for my time. So, while motherhood is very rewarding and the sweet kisses are the best... it should come with health warning that it is not for the weak-hearted!

Not to minimize your situation at all, but I do agree with you that starting from the beginning and being married is a whole 'nother ball of wax! Just getting a date night, or being able to pay for a babysitter once a month is a huge thing to us! The reality of motherhood is hard to understand until you are living it and even if someone tries to explain all the why's and how's, etc... you just can't imagine it until you are there smack dab in the middle of it and making your own way.

Now, I do have friends that make it look effortless, etc... but they are pretty optimistic about life in general and tend to be very outgoing, high energy, "life's of the party" types and I am so not like that. So, I think some personalities handle motherhood "better" maybe, and maybe they can look at it as a different kind of "fun"... but for my husband and I we have realized that we expected it to be totally different and have really had to adjust our expectations about parenthood. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give my kids back or anything like that... it's just WAY harder than I ever thought it would be... and I thought it all would just come naturally to me! (wrong!)
Sep 30, 2009 | comments: 22
in reply to a comment by M & M.
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 3:43pm EDT
I disagree... true Christians have the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us and show us where there is hate, evil, wrong-doing, etc.... in our hearts. I don't know about you, but when I became a Christian I didn't all of a sudden become perfect... far from it! I still have bad thoughts, bad actions, bad motives sometimes and when the Holy Spirit convicts me about it, I repent and ask Him to help me change... I still think most people pre-judge others and not just based on race. Only by the GRACE of God can I ask Him to forgive my prejudices (pre-judgments) and ask Him to change me... but if I am in denial that any prejudices exist, then He can't change me!

And what does "walking in His light 24/7" mean? I thought Jesus was the only perfect one? I fail miserably and sometimes He has to knock me up side the head to get my attention... but I am still walking... Thank God I don't have to be perfect because I would have been struck dead a long time ago!
Sep 30, 2009 | comments: 22
in reply to a comment by Heidi Cole
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 3:38pm EDT
Heather, I too am a follower of Jesus, but I am well aware that I am still a work in progress. I am empathetic once I know someone's situation, but a lot of times people pre-judge based on appearance and that's where I am saying that most of us go wrong. My natural tendency is to pre-judge because I have a sinful and selfish, self-promoting nature... through Jesus' work on the cross I am trusting that he will change me daily, but it is an active thought process and harder for some of us than others. Maybe because I was exposed to racism so early on, it jaded me? Who knows...
Sep 30, 2009 | comments: 22
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 10:39am EDT
I do believe it is human nature to judge each other. I'm not saying it is "right" and I do believe we should do everything we can not to try to pre-judge each other, but it happens ALL the time!

When I was 5 my family lived on an Indian Reservation in Montana (my dad worked for the National Forest Service and worked with different Indian tribes that had protected land and/or land that ran next to government land). The only school in the area that had a kindergarten was the "Indian" school. The "white" school started in the first grade. My parents wanted me to go to kindergarten so they sent me to the "indian" school. I was a blonde toe-head with bright blue eyes and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was the only white person in the entire school and was treated horribly. That was my first introduction to racism. The teachers wouldn't even let me go out to recess with the other kids. I had to sit at my desk with my head down while the other kids got to go outside and play.

So many times we hear of how white people are racist against everyone else, but I think racism is all-encompassing for every race. I know Hispanics who hate Blacks, Blacks who hate whites, Whites who hate Blacks, Whites who hate Asians, etc.......... I think it stems from not understanding where each other comes from, so we pick apart the differences and forget to find the similarities that make us all human!

Anyway... I think everyone has pre-judged at one time or another. To deny it is to not be conscious of what's truly going on inside your own self... (and I'm not talking about simply pre-judgment based on skin color... I'm talking about all differences even in our own race... I've judged the blond-haired, big-boobed "cheerleader" type and automatically assumed her to be shallow and brainless... or the red neck and assumed all of his kids have missing teeth and live in a trailer park...)

I'm not proud that I have those moments of judging other people... and when I catch myself, I work on changing my thoughts and doing something to change how I reacted. I'm just saying that I don't think ANYONE is 100% immune or CURED of pre-judging people...
Sep 29, 2009 | comments: 24
in reply to a comment by Heidi Cole
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 1:26am EDT
My point Ramona is that many of the people who won't get the shot are trying to force others into doing so... If the government officials are going to mandate it, then they need to be the first in line... along with the CDC who says its "safe" and the pharmaceutical companies who made it and can't be sued if someone dies from it... If they all will get the shot, then I would have a lot more "faith" in their science... until then, we will continue not getting vaccines either and we thank God that Texas allows for a philosophical exemption to vaccinations!
Sep 29, 2009 | comments: 52
in reply to a comment by John Doyle
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 1:23am EDT
The problem though is the vaccine hasn't been properly tested and just because someone says, "Here is a vaccine, take it..." Doesn't mean that it will do what they claim it will do, and not have any bad side affects.

As soon as Obama, all of Capitol Hill (both repubs and dems), the CDC and anyone in favor of "big goverment" gets their shots... then I will get in line to get mine!

We have the right for the government to be responsible and properly TEST all vaccines that they mandate... when they have done that, then I will consider getting it... until then, I am thankful Texas has state exemptions for vaccines. My children's philosophical exemptions are on file at their schools!
Sep 29, 2009 | comments: 44
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 1:15am EDT
I had one article that someone flagged once for harassment. I emailed Chuck at Gather member support and told him that I didn't think my article was harassment. If it was flagged for the comments, then he needed to let me know which comments constituted harassment and I would delete them myself. The next day, 14 of the same person's comments had been deleted from my article and the flag had been lifted. So, Gather removed the offending comments themselves and lifted the flag. Maybe if you had initiated communication with them they could have told you which comments to delete and then let the article stand? I'm all for not deleting comments either, until it means that if I don't my article gets deleted itself!
Sep 28, 2009 | comments: 89
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 12:59am EDT
I started drawing at a very young age and while my art was encouraged and supported by my parents no one ever encouraged me to be an artist FOR A LIVING --- most people treat it as a hobby and not as a profession. Well, I proved them all wrong!

I am now working as a graphic designer and have been for the past 12 years, and while I love design, my true passion still lies in pencil drawing. I recently applied for graduate school to get my Masters of Art in Medical Illustration, so maybe their is more fine art in my near future!

My kids have all seen my artwork and they already like to draw pictures for me. Only time will tell whether it will become more than just a hobby to them. I for one won't discourage them from pursuing it professionally, but will also be equally as excited about any dream they wish to pursue!

What I love most about art is that I believe God was the original Artist. One of the very first things He did was CREATE... so when I am drawing, I feel very close to the creative heart of God. Nothing I do is original, everything pales in comparison to God's original design, but mimicking His work makes me feel very close to His heart! And when I am done with a piece of artwork, I love to sit back and look at it and say, "It is good..." Just like He did after he was finished creating the world!
Sep 29, 2009 | comments: 24
Heidi Cole Sep 30, 2009, 12:47am EDT
Yeah, I'll get one right after everyone that works at the CDC get's one, then we can test it on everyone on Capitol Hill... and let's see... everyone in favor of "big government", THEN and only then will I get mine!
Sep 26, 2009 | comments: 44
in reply to a comment by Linda B.
Heidi Cole Sep 26, 2009, 11:09pm EDT
Wow Linda, that is WAY too much work! I wash and dry my underwires and haven't had a problem with my Lane Bryant Cacique bras. They wear out in other ways long before the wires ever come out, so thankfully I can still wash and dry mine!
Sep 26, 2009 | comments: 44
Heidi Cole Sep 26, 2009, 11:06pm EDT
I buy my bras at Lane Bryant and haven't had a problem with the wires poking out EVER (and I wash and dry mine in the machine). I don't ever buy them at full price though, I wait until they have the buy one get one sales so they end up being around $20 a piece, sometimes less.

I have never found a non wired bra that gives the kind of support you are talking about. I like my boobs to stay where I put them, so I will put up with an underwire!
Sep 26, 2009 | comments: 9
Heidi Cole Sep 26, 2009, 8:21pm EDT
I had a brain tumor that was removed in 2002. Since then I have been turned DOWN for insurance SEVERAL times --- in fact every time that I have applied for it. I can't afford the OUTRAGEOUS cobra policy they offer you when you leave a job, so I have just had to do without insurance because apparently I am uninsurable...

All that to say, how in the world does the government intend to MAKE people get health insurance? Some of us can't even qualify for it, NOR could we afford the premiums even if we did qualify... how is that HELPING us? Are they going to MAKE the insurance companies insure even the uninsurable?

I'm all for healthcare and insurance reform, but I think it is all best left to the open market and now is the time for people to start demanding better from both sides. As an uninsured person, I haggle doctor bills all the time and for the FIRST time in my life I am INFORMED about the REAL price of healthcare and that many procedures are just optional, etc... Anyway...
Sep 22, 2009 | comments: 97
in reply to a comment by Heidi Cole
Heidi Cole Sep 26, 2009, 8:15pm EDT
I was working with a church there, so it was a great humanitarian cause at the time. It was right after Russia opened up in the early 90's and we were there to offer aid and support to the people.

Yes, it was freakin' cold there, but I learned so much about myself that it was SO worth it! Plus, my worldview changed significantly!
Sep 25, 2009 | comments: 25
in reply to a comment by Peter Joseph Swanson
Heidi Cole Sep 25, 2009, 1:05pm EDT
My spankings NEVER are doled out with a, "Because I said so..." My children are warned, given the choice to obey, then disciplined. I actually feel like my method teaches that your choices actually have consequences that can actually hurt, not just simply inconvenience you! So not all people spank untintelligently as you have suggested...
Sep 25, 2009 | comments: 25
Heidi Cole Sep 25, 2009, 1:03pm EDT
Well, I was spanked and have a very high IQ. I guess I can blame my parents for keeping me from being the next Einstein!

Oh, and 2.8 points in IQ is such a small difference, even if it were true that spanking lowered IQ, it wouldn't really matter.

An IQ of 144 is barely any higher than an IQ of 141.8... and likewise on the opposite end of the spectrum!

Oh, and I'm talking about spanking, not beating....
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