Paige C.'s Comments
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Jan 11, 2009 | comments: 143
Paige C. Jan 11, 2009, 1:50pm EST
Frequently, I start with the ending. But something tweaks my interest, and I think "What caused that to happen?" Then I sit down and write the first draft.

After the first draft, I do a sort of outline. I take those giant sized post-its, and put the Chapter Number, a one-two sentence description of that chapter. If it is a pivot point. What characters were introduced. I put those post-its on a huge sheet of posterboard. Then I can rearrange things easily, make sure I have adequately introduced/described characters, have the correct plotting arcs, etc.

But if I sat down and outlined the entire book in the beginning, I would be tired of it before I started writing the actual story
Dec 12, 2007 | comments: 247
Paige C. Dec 28, 2007, 10:40am EST
Amie- I have to agree with earlier comments regarding sentence construction and grammar. Every now and then, something abruptly takes me out of the story, and I have to find my way back in.

That said, you have an interesting and intriguing protgonist, reminescent of China Bayles or Kinsey Milhone. Need to know a little bit more about her.

The homeless man with a cellphone didn't bother me. I work with the homeless, and they will do anything (gather aluminum cans, wash cars, etc) to get the monehy to pay for basic phone service. Without a phone they lose contact with the world.

Good hook for the end.
Nov 1, 2007 | comments: 52
Paige C. Nov 1, 2007, 7:35pm EDT
Truly not trying to be offensive, but why would someone claiming to be sent by you be considered attractive to the individual being contacted?

Usually, if someone contacts me, they list reason why they would like to be contacts--but claiming that they were sent by a third-party? Hasn't happened yet.
Nov 1, 2007 | comments: 3
Paige C. Nov 1, 2007, 6:28pm EDT
Georgia has been going through this same thing. The state even sent an RV around to make FREE state photo ID cards, going to rural areas, housing projects, etc. Very very few takers. And you do need a photo ID for checks, many bank transactions, many credit or debit card transactions.

But then, we are the state that had dead voters voting in alphabetical order in a governor's race.
Oct 26, 2007 | comments: 28
Paige C. Oct 26, 2007, 7:01pm EDT
How many points do you get for each type of thing?
Oct 26, 2007 | comments: 25
Paige C. Oct 26, 2007, 6:49pm EDT
Great luck. I'm not a gym goer, and need better motivation than to depend on myself. Luckily a good friend is a personal trainer, and she is always scheduling group classes. So I do Pilates, Yamuna Body Rolling and endurance walking.

I need to lose another 20 pounds to be comfortable with my height/;weight/muscletone ratio.
Oct 26, 2007 | comments: 11
Paige C. Oct 26, 2007, 6:22pm EDT
Definately jail time. Violence to animals is the precursor to violence to people.
Oct 26, 2007 | comments: 10
Paige C. Oct 26, 2007, 6:20pm EDT
Force fluids, especially fluids with Vitamin C. Hot steamy fluids with garlic and fat--like chicken soup. Alternate Tylenol and Motrin.
Oct 22, 2007 | comments: 15
Paige C. Oct 26, 2007, 10:28am EDT
UNDER THE LIBERTY OAK, available at www.Amazon.com, highly reviewed (and I don't even know the reviewers!) a southern coastal murder mystery. Brittan Lee Hayworth is a fifty year old woman with a forty year old secret- it wasn't a secret when it happened, but when she tried to tell everyone she was told she was hysterical, guilty, naughty. Now, forty years later, when the body of a young girl is found in the bottom of the Liberty River, Brittan Lee must return to her hometown to face her own hidden demons. Caught up in an FBI Civil Rights cold case investigation, Brittan Lee finds her life in danger once again.

Hope you like it.
Oct 25, 2007 | comments: 4
Paige C. Oct 25, 2007, 9:33pm EDT
Well- the Mystery Writers of America have the right to set whatever standard they want. One of the things they require is that the first print run of a book be a minimum of 5,000 copies. So the publishers who utilize Print-on-Demand technologies, or e-books or those who are self-published aren't eligible. Apparently the MWA associates self-published and/or self-financed writers to not be as good at their craft as one who has been vetted by a medium to major publishing house.

Just as a question to any self-published, e-published or POD published mystery writers-- how many books (one title) have you sold?

I've got to admit- it isn't easy. I've sold about 400 copies of UNDER THE LIBERTY OAK (available at www.Amazon.com). It's had great reviews, and I hit about every bookstore, festival, farmer's market, craft show-- you name it. AND I was told that 400 is actually very good, and above the average for a first book.

If that is true, and the average "print run" is 5,000 for a first-time title from a major house, then how many of those books are returns or remaindered? I think the MWA requirement should focus on how many are SOLD and not just how many were in the original print run.
Oct 25, 2007 | comments: 8
Paige C. Oct 25, 2007, 8:51pm EDT
This could be an interesting story. I like the touches of local color. You might want to mention that Valdosta is in south Georgia, to further cement down the location. You might also want to throw in something about the time of year-- you can do that when you talk about what is in season for fishing-- like "I've been waiting for the first of May, so I could catch those big bass,"

some points to remember - don't be redundant. Your reader isn't stupid, so you don't need to keep repeating unimportant information. Example- 5:00 am in the morning. That specific phrase is twice in one paragraph. You only need to say five am or five in the morning. Then later you could say something like "when getting up that early..."

Another example: made a fresh bologna sandwich, scarfed on a triple layer bologna sandwich.

Another point- the sentence/grammar structure in the first paragraph needs some refining.

Next- "said" is a perfectly acceptable term. The dialogue should portray the mood of the speaker, so Yelled, suggested, replied, scramed--- those take the reader out of the monment. The reader should instinctively know the chasracter would have screamed, or cried or shouted by the use of the dialogue.

Last, James is sort of thrown at the reader rather haphazardly. At first he is screaming because of the snag. Then there are several paragraphs of scenery or breakfast, or unloading the boat, then James is back. But the reader never has the chance to know if this is a prior acquaintance or if this is the first time they met, if they have fished before. We don't even know if James introduced himself. This is important because the narrator keeps calling him James, but also implies they didn't know each other. So that little issue needs clarification.

Keep writing!
Oct 25, 2007 | comments: 216
Paige C. Oct 25, 2007, 8:23pm EDT
That really skinny girl who threw the immunity challenge? What's with that? Like how much help will she be in a big challenge? They should have voted her butt right out of there. And Sherea--she just sits around and watches everyone else work. So how is it she is still there?
Oct 24, 2007 | comments: 7
Paige C. Oct 24, 2007, 11:38pm EDT
What a sweet name.., Collete Rose. Congratulations on being an aunt again.
Oct 24, 2007 | comments: 12
Paige C. Oct 24, 2007, 11:29pm EDT
Sounds great- but as with children, make sure there are no food allergies in the dog. The majority of skin issues (itching, chewing, etc) as well as stinky ears, are caused by food allergies, usually to wheat or dairy.
Oct 23, 2007 | comments: 4
Paige C. Oct 23, 2007, 12:28am EDT
This is terrible. Has the GAL actually told you she found medical neglect or is it possible that his ex-wife is just saying this to frighten you into backing down. Attorneys have been know to lie to try and get a better deal for their clients.

Is Ash old enough to clearly talk to the GAL and judge as to her own wishes?

What is the presumed medical neglect situation?

It seems you have your won ducks in a row...
Oct 19, 2007 | comments: 47
Paige C. Oct 21, 2007, 1:07am EDT
Jane- I agree that there is a big difference in a "want" and a "need," and in your case, buying a new washer definately would be a need. Much more cost-effective and time-effective than using a laundromat. You showed good financial sense.

Lets talk about someone who has a need, but turns it into a want. Mollie "needs" a new television because her old one is broken and would cost more to repair than to replace. She needs it to help occupy the children while she cleans the house. The family budget is tight, so she finds a relatively inexpensive one, adequate size for the whole family to see, has a built in DVD Recorder, and is cable compatible. She has $250 in her emergency fund, and can handle the store charge for another $150 at 0% interest for 6 months. Good choice. But her husband, Tom, says "If we are going to get a new TV, I want it to be something that I can have the guys over to watch the big game. So I want that 90 inch flat screen with the picture within a picture format and the "DVD, and the Dolby surround sound, and I don't see why we can't use the store card for the $5200 debt. I'm sure I can pay it off before the increased interest rates kick in." In this example the want is not jiustified, but the need is.

Its all a game of smoke and mirrors and people who think they deserve things despite of their inabiloity to pay for them.
Oct 19, 2007 | comments: 47
Paige C. Oct 20, 2007, 4:46pm EDT
Jane- there was an article recently abut a family who returned from vacation to find their home had been forclosed upon. The article was about how horrible the economy was, and how people were losing homes, etc. But when you read more about this couple- they had a primary home, a vacation home, took long expensive vacations and had huge credit card debt. And it takes more than one late mortgage payment for people to lose a home. So we have an economy where people are still spending beyond their meansw, putting everyday living expenses on credit cards and are then the whole ball of wax comes rolling down the hill. People need to cut expenses, trim out the excess- like right now, vacations are not a necessity. Electronic playtoys are not a necessity. Big cars who use a lot of gas are not a necessity. Eating out two or three nights a week (even if it is fast food) is not a necessity. But people seem to think it is. And they keep spending on credit, and when money gets tight, and interest rates on credit debt go up, and the esculator clauses kick in-- that's when those people get later and later in paying bills until eventually they lose everything.

I believe in Dave Ramsey's No More Debt program, where the individual formulates a budget, closes all credit ards, snowballs payments to pay off credit debt, and keeps an Emergency Fund to cover emergencies.
Oct 19, 2007 | comments: 31
Paige C. Oct 19, 2007, 7:21pm EDT
The Union troops let their horses loose in the cemetery. The soldeirs dug up the headstones and rearranged them; they also carved into the headstones and changed the birth and death dates, making some people die before they were born.

On the side of the cemetery is the strip of land used for duels. The mottos was "Pistols for two, coffee for one."
Oct 19, 2007 | comments: 3
Paige C. Oct 19, 2007, 6:47pm EDT
Its all written in present tense. Is this going to be a screenplay?
Oct 19, 2007 | comments: 3
Paige C. Oct 19, 2007, 6:42pm EDT
Wow! And I thought it was just those rich people who still watered their perfectly manicured 2-acre front yards... while we peons are losing our lawns, hundred year old oak trees and landscaping plants.
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Paige C.
Georgia
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