by Kushal Poddar

Member since:
January 19, 2008

Five minutes in a stalled lift

March 11, 2009 10:30 PM EDT (Updated: March 11, 2009 10:43 PM EDT)

views: 409 | comments: 67

The five minutes in a killed lift

The soft buzz is killed all of a sudden.

The world flickers, blinks as the lights die and born.

You can listen to millions of words

the mind speaks at a given time, at once.

And then the tide comes, the gush of dark salt

sweeps the sanity away, it struggles.

The anger, the frustration, the fear

are the grinning ghosts keeping their hands

on your shoulder and softly saying, “Panic!”

he talks with her and she talks with him.

So many expressions, the anger has.

The lift melts, the lift metamorphizes.

In a steel cage what the birds talk about,

freedom? An October sky? Their nests?

With a jerk the lift comes to life, the couple nods.

The paths separate again, floors differ.

Tags: poem, poetry, writing, muse, kushalpoddar, life, love, story, gather essential

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Comments: 67

Georgiana S. Mar 11, 2009, 10:36pm EDT

hate when that happens! Good observance!

reply to this comment

Jennifer Lee Mar 11, 2009, 10:40pm EDT

Loved the last stanza. Thank you for posting to our group.

reply to this comment

Nancy Biri Mar 11, 2009, 10:41pm EDT

Nice

reply to this comment

Cheryl W. Mar 11, 2009, 10:45pm EDT

Wonderful poem, poddar!

reply to this comment

April K. Mar 11, 2009, 10:49pm EDT

Written well!

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JOHN BECK Mar 11, 2009, 10:53pm EDT

Interesting the way circumstances affect interpersonal encounters. Well done, Kushal.

reply to this comment

Renee (Pres of Baby James Foundation) ~. Mar 11, 2009, 10:56pm EDT

Wonderful

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Bard Constantine Mar 11, 2009, 10:56pm EDT

Confinement will either bring out the best or worse in people.

reply to this comment

Stirling D. Mar 11, 2009, 10:56pm EDT

Marvelous ... understated ... the kind of poem that lives more in the mind than on the screen. I imagine the moment the elevator rises ... see the exact elevator ... silently witness these people ... those moments. I could see this as a basis for a short story.

reply to this comment

Linda T. Mar 11, 2009, 10:59pm EDT

You capture the scene well.

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Barbara M. Mar 11, 2009, 11:03pm EDT

thanks for sharing

reply to this comment

zale orcid Mar 11, 2009, 11:08pm EDT

this is amazing. it is so good

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Susan Roberts Mar 11, 2009, 11:08pm EDT

I liked this one

reply to this comment

Cholette W. Mar 11, 2009, 11:12pm EDT

Good one.

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Jan S. Mar 11, 2009, 11:28pm EDT

This is so typical of trying to stop from panicking. Well expressed!

I got stuck in a lift in Lucerne. It was a tiny, two person car. No one could get the thing moving, so some hotel employees took the door off the hinges and lifted us down. It wouldn't have been so bad if there wasn't such a crowd watching.

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Stephanie S. Mar 11, 2009, 11:33pm EDT

thank you for this, Podder

reply to this comment

David W. Mar 11, 2009, 11:33pm EDT

A wonderful expression of inner self, tapped and nowhere to turn, but the stranger at your side. Tragically, the onyl attempt you make... fails.

reply to this comment

Kimberly Ripley Mar 11, 2009, 11:43pm EDT

You've even made an elevator a work of creative genius. Brilliant!

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Marsha S. Mar 12, 2009, 12:03am EDT

Driving by from Comment Speedway to help out!

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Kathryn E. Mar 12, 2009, 12:16am EDT

Featured in the Triple Name Club.

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Shelbia C. Mar 12, 2009, 12:36am EDT

Thanks for posting to Writing Reservoiir

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René Allen Mar 12, 2009, 1:13am EDT

BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO Master Poet Poddar!

This is the BEST poetic piece I've read from you! I LOVE THIS ONE ~ in it's ENTIRETY ~ Every single line.

This will be FEATURED this WEEKEND in Dream Depths

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René Allen Mar 12, 2009, 1:19am EDT

And you know without a doubt, this will be FEATURED this WEEKEND in Artistic Minds® Poddar!

This one is just SLAMMING!

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Granny Janny H. Mar 12, 2009, 1:37am EDT

Brilliant.

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Kevin F Mar 12, 2009, 2:13am EDT

right good poem...i could see it.

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Debra H. Mar 12, 2009, 2:21am EDT

Excellent Poddar

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The Wassners, People Who Care About You!!!! Mar 12, 2009, 3:19am EDT

Thank you, For Sharing!!!!!!

passion

Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.
In the end, it is the person you become, not the things you have achieved, that is the most important.

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Amy H. Mar 12, 2009, 3:26am EDT

Thanks for posting your content to the Group: 20 Comments

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Debbie R. Mar 12, 2009, 7:51am EDT

Very nice.

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Svetlana Goryacheva Mar 12, 2009, 8:14am EDT

A familiar situation - great poem, dear Poddar! ;-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Mar 12, 2009, 10:18am EDT

As Thich Nhat Hahn says, "Peace is always available from within."

This poem is transcendent.

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Mar 12, 2009, 10:19am EDT

Thank you for posting this to The Surreal Circus.

reply to this comment

Elizabeth H. Mar 12, 2009, 10:22am EDT

Very nicely done.

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Nancy L. Mar 12, 2009, 10:38am EDT

I've never been stuck in an elevator, but I have a friend who won't get in one after having experienced it. I'm sure she could totally relate to your poem.

reply to this comment

F. Jeanette c. Mar 12, 2009, 2:45pm EDT

Another great poem.

10 4 u

reply to this comment

Curt L. Mar 12, 2009, 2:47pm EDT

Great job, Poddar! 10!

reply to this comment

Haim Kadman Mar 12, 2009, 2:49pm EDT

It's very Poddar and it portray so clearly such moment when we struggle in the dark, to regain our wits.

reply to this comment

Jim Ross Mar 12, 2009, 3:00pm EDT

Poddar, I loved this one. You travel the phenomenon with a wonderful flair. You have a soulmate in Ambrose Bierce who traveled beside you in his An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge. Your poem, at least, has a happy ending. Kudos!

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blaine d. Mar 12, 2009, 3:19pm EDT

great one!

reply to this comment

Joe W. Mar 12, 2009, 3:47pm EDT

That is a fabulous poem! Very descriptive...

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Michelle W. Mar 12, 2009, 3:57pm EDT

This is a wonderful, encapsulated story.

Thanks for posting in Journey Into Poetry !

reply to this comment

JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Mar 12, 2009, 4:03pm EDT

Awesome, Poddar.

A gilded cage..........

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JoAnne D. Mar 12, 2009, 5:26pm EDT

Nice writing, you have improved.

reply to this comment

Sharon P. Mar 12, 2009, 6:11pm EDT

Caging never brings out the best in anyone.

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Chloe Berryman Mar 12, 2009, 6:29pm EDT

This flowed beautifully

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Sandi T. Mar 12, 2009, 6:42pm EDT

Thank you for sharing!

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Angela A. Mar 12, 2009, 7:23pm EDT

Thanks Comments
Myspace Comments - Upload Photos

for posting to my group, Anythingwriting

reply to this comment

necee t. Mar 13, 2009, 12:07am EDT

very interesting... alot can happen in 5 minutes... cool...

reply to this comment

Theresa M. Mar 13, 2009, 6:19am EDT

I understood the analogy of being swept over in the tide:

"And then the tide comes, the gush of dark salt
sweeps the sanity away, it struggles.
The anger, the frustration, the fear"

Having been trapped in both a lift AND a rip tide, (though not at the same time, tee hee) I'd say that you captured the gut feeling of both quite chillingly... Nice work Poddar

reply to this comment

Sue T. Mar 13, 2009, 9:13pm EDT

Great work, Poddar. You captured the feeling of discomfort and anxiety that sometimes pervades the atmosphere in elevators. Five minutes would seem like an eternity.

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Lewis (keeping those fires burning) K. Mar 13, 2009, 9:18pm EDT

Somehow, I had a more sinister picture in mind when I heard the term 'killed lift'. Thankfully, you spared me that dark trip. Nice work on this one. Being trapped is a killer, even for a few minutes.

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timi A. Mar 13, 2009, 11:31pm EDT

So lovely,very interesting

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Austin Cushing Mar 14, 2009, 12:30am EDT

This comment is to let you know that this content has reached at least ten comments, and as such has been removed from Comment Speedway! Congratulations, and check out this week's Help These Articles!

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Diane "stormyz" B. Mar 15, 2009, 1:17am EDT

Very nice!!

Thank you for posting this to the Ratings Rampage Group

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tonya brown Mar 15, 2009, 8:34pm EDT

great job

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Sheila Deeth Mar 16, 2009, 8:25pm EDT

Neat scene, beautifully portrayed.

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Chas Andrews Mar 18, 2009, 11:45am EDT

thanks!

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Daf W. Mar 18, 2009, 6:13pm EDT

thanks for sharing!

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regina k. Mar 26, 2009, 11:22pm EDT

wonderful viewpoint!

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Ladybounty ~. Mar 29, 2009, 12:15pm EDT

Excellent piece Poddar! You have captured the essence of such an experience....
I can feel the slow panic of being stuck in such a confined space since I am mildly claustrophobic and also the rush of having a deep, personal "moment" with a complete stranger in an elevator only to seperate like nothing ocurred when the doors open.

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