City vortex
(To Surreal Circus)
Sometimes I roam the city like an eddy of dust;
touching the loose streets, wobbly roads and shaky structures.
They seem unstable particles of still forming earth.
I touch the people who go through me; phantoms, ghosts.
Only their emotions leave a palpable trace
albeit following it can lead you to those blind lanes,
with one building at the end, trying to conceal pain.
“Do not cry.” The voice of some woman advises.
Sometimes I move through the busy shops. Windows glowing.
The mannequins want to talk. But I have long been deaf.
© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar
Life withLin red
The movie theater
where blasts had occurred
could not have been debarred
from life.
It had taken revenge
upon any violence
and moved to live, with peace.
© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar
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Comments: 45
The narrator in your first poem sounds one step away from being a ghost.
So I am.
A thoughtful ghost at that.
Your second poem reminds me of a story told by someone who's visited Isreal. Apparently off-duty soldiers (including women) carry semi-automatics, even on dates to the cinema.
Thank you for posting this to The Surreal Circus. You are now featured.
The first poem is powerful and intriguing. Thank you for posting to our group and congratulations on your feature.
Very nice
Those are very nice.
Violence is the feed of the hour~
Emotional imprints on a world~
Exquisite poetic plays~
Thank you for posting to gutterGirls~
your poems are really so very powerful, and the words just flow to create images I can see.. dropping you a ten!!!!!
City Vortex:
I like the way you think, Poddar. And the way you see things. Nice!
Life with a red L:
Oh, Poddar...where is this?
:)
Well done, Poddar.
I particularly like "The mannequins want to talk. But I have long been deaf."
The first poem was very interesting. Ghost like.I could picture you traveling through the city. The second poem I thought was the dying of the theater.It is fading away from what it used to be. I gave you a 10. It should have bee 20.lol.
Fantastic, dear Poddar... both of them, but I was especially impressed by the first. :-)
Blessings and best wishes - S.
...And I wonder who's that ... (an untranslatable Russian folklore) who regularly gives you low ratings. I'll bet this type, whomever he or she may be, isn't even able to write a single coherent phrase, much less a poem... but such is the reality of Gather. Cheer up, my dear friend - your talent and creativity are more than enough to defeat all the trolls in the world! :-)
Warmly from Moscow - S.
Let us all drift ethereal through a city.
Again you made me see what you wrote! Good job!
It's great Poddar I loved in particular that line: "The mannequins want to talk" - beautiful!
very nice!
thanks
Featured in the The Triple Name Club
Deafness to certain voices is a hard thing to achieve.
Nice read.
Wow the last part was quiet violent. Great job!
The first especially is etherial and flowing as well as thoughtful.
(Forget about the trolls.)
"The mannequins want to talk. But I have long been deaf".
Great line, Poddar.
Great job,I especially liked the first one.
Wonderful, Thanks for sharing
I especially liked the first one - the pause before the end, that adds to the impact and leaves me breathless.
Well done my brother and without trying to, you pretty much described New York City and its denizens.
<a href=" http://www.gather.com/viewVideo.action?id=11821949021887255"> The Flamingo Dance </a>
original and effective.
Thank you sir.
Oh but the ghosts that roam the city at night. What tales they could tell us. Great writings.
Thrilling and bizarre, but winning.
Thanks for posting to Writing Reservoir
The feelings of moving through a city are so well-portrayed. I have felt that fragility of the human world. We pretend a city is permanent, because we must live in it, but it could so easily become a lost, abandoned ruin. And it is easy to feel like a ghost when you live and move in cities. People close themselves off to others because there are simply too many. If you are sensitive to others' energy it can be too much to feel their pain, so you must "deaden" yourself somehow. That's okay. We are not meant to be garbage collectors. Nevertheless we can still be helpful to others when an opportunity presents itself. Good writing, Kushal!
Thank you Alison, it means so much!
Do not miss your ping.
i think artists--GOOD artists--are somewhat sociopathic. this is what allows us to peer directly into the eyes of "the red 'L'-word".
even when we wish to flinch.
ESPECIALLY then, mayhap.
good fare, as usual.
almost neglected to state it.
ciao.
My good friend, waiting for 2012
The first one really spoke to me: "like an eddy of dust". Great stuff. Captures the feel of just about any large city perfectly.
Sorry, but the second one did not resonate with me at all.
What Rory said
They almost could be combined. This is what I imagined for IPS in that it is a "tour" of your city..Great flavor and feeling. It is enevitable, cream will always rise to the top.