Night of fireworks

Night of fireworks

The night of her rape was also of fireworks;

fluorescent flowers breeding in the instant sky

celebrating the end of a war which hadn’t ended.

She tried to wipe the blood but its stains wouldn’t go

like the marks of straps she had after a sunbath.

Her legs dangled over the black flow of water.

Water was mischievous; calling her to dive.

Near the roots of a tree stretched open, naked.

Looking into erosion could be unsettling.

She could hear the name which water called;

she was going to answer but instead a fear

gripped her; she touched the tree; head hammered the tree trunk.

The coke she had.

Bang! Bang!

The boy friend.

Bang! Bang!

She joined the party.

Bang! Bang!

A strip tease.

Bang! Bang!

Organs went awry.

Bang! Bang!

She would have to invent a different story.

Bang! Bang!

Her father had two siblings.

Bang! Bang!

The one he loved most was a stillborn.

Bang! Bang!

A fire worked inside her like life itself

it burned and it made her a chunk of coal, stronger.

Comments: 36

David W. Apr 29, 2009, 10:00pm EDT

A very strong poem Poddar and a smack in the sensabilities. Tragedy is not beautiful, but it makes for excelent poetry.

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Cheryl W. Apr 29, 2009, 10:03pm EDT

Wow, Poddar. So raw and real and beautifully written. You have conveyed this experience so well....it is almost painful to read. Well done.

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Georgiana S. Apr 29, 2009, 10:05pm EDT

What Barbara said!
Very powerful poddar. I would only help by correcting "lied" 9is and un-truth) "lay" is the word you want here. And fear "griped" her is not unless you have a stomach ache! (LOL), the word is "gripped". But you speak Hindi better than I!

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Angela A. Apr 29, 2009, 10:41pm EDT

A very chilling experience!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting

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Nancy Biri Apr 29, 2009, 11:09pm EDT

Very nice

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Patty Mayonaise Apr 29, 2009, 11:17pm EDT

powerful

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Kathryn E. Apr 29, 2009, 11:56pm EDT

dark but fitting my mood tonight.

Notable in Gather Writing Essentials, Wednesday

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Megan John Apr 30, 2009, 12:00am EDT

Wow. Powerful imagery.

Thank you for sharing this.

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blaine d. Apr 30, 2009, 12:59am EDT

nicely done!

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Howard b. Apr 30, 2009, 1:53am EDT

Such strong feelings. Dark , Very well written .Thanks for sharing.

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Kimber F. Apr 30, 2009, 2:53am EDT

Very powerful and moving. I like what was said above - that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I agree with that very much. Thanks for sharing your talent with us and peace.

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Svetlana Goryacheva Apr 30, 2009, 3:34am EDT

You're one of those writers who never disappoint, dear Poddar... powerful indeed! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.

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William Dotani Apr 30, 2009, 5:08am EDT

Raped and from an unloving home makes this a very sad story, but the final line is the silver lining.

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Angie O. Apr 30, 2009, 8:19am EDT

I can really relate to part of this poem. So very real and wonderfully told. Another emotional read. Well done.

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Beth - Doing God's work Daily J. Apr 30, 2009, 8:45am EDT

Thanks for sharing on Getting to 3000 Together

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Apr 30, 2009, 9:20am EDT

The imagery in the first half of your poem is stunning, and your later description of the raped girl's inner dialogue and self-mutilation is horrifying.

Thank you for posting this to The Surreal Circus.

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John Michael Elritz G. Apr 30, 2009, 10:03am EDT

nice!

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Terry Collett Apr 30, 2009, 10:34am EDT

A poem that is powerful and well crafted.

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Wilhelmine Estabrook Apr 30, 2009, 10:53am EDT

As the others have said, powerful, great imagry, and sad.

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Stephanie S. Apr 30, 2009, 11:45am EDT

powerful poem

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Purrrrrrrrrrr~Genki dashite~Nantoka naru-yo! S. Apr 30, 2009, 1:14pm EDT

This is a blade~it is fierce and powerful~and all too close to these bones

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Peter R. Apr 30, 2009, 1:40pm EDT

I can't understand why the rating isn't higher.

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Jyoti M. Apr 30, 2009, 1:52pm EDT

the tragedy is depicted so well..even in the metaphorical context..

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A Parameswaran N. Apr 30, 2009, 2:03pm EDT

Wonderful!

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Sharon P. Apr 30, 2009, 2:45pm EDT

Another I have been through. Very well done.

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Chas Andrews Apr 30, 2009, 3:47pm EDT

thanks!

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Sheila Deeth Apr 30, 2009, 10:30pm EDT

Wow! This is great.

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Shelbia C. Apr 30, 2009, 11:33pm EDT

All I can say is wow!

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roger s. May 1, 2009, 2:34am EDT

now that was powerful

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Serena V. May 1, 2009, 10:41am EDT

I agree, almost painful to read and so real...very good

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EDWINA (MISSIE) B. May 1, 2009, 2:49pm EDT

thanks for sharing

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Marie C. May 1, 2009, 11:33pm EDT

Very dark

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Paula C. May 2, 2009, 12:17am EDT

I wanted to let you know that I had stopped by to check out what you’ve recently shared with all of us here at gather.
Since I’m in the middle of Finals week, I hate to admit, but I must give in to the temptation of leaving a generic comment
But to give it a little personal touch, I added some artwork for you to enjoy!

<font size="1">MySpace Glitters</font>