That man in the flood
Darkness has a neat effect under his nails,
darkness is a layer, mottled with patches.
It is almost akin to the skin he wears.
Albeit sweeping water, black with dirt and muck
is breaking tiny waves near the man’s feet
his outer look is anything but clean.
“Grab it. This is the rope of life”, say rescuers.
The man whose wife is a tagless body there
floating with the song of death that the water,
the rain, the broken dam and the flood make.
His son won’t awake, now that he has tasted sleep.
“Come on, we have to save many more!Grab on, man!”
He smiles blissfully, as if sitting on one’s roof
losing everything is a daily adventure.
© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar
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Comments: 56
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I hope you understand.
Have a Great & powerful day W/J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
darkness is a layer, mottled with patches.
It is almost akin to the skin he wears.
Albeit sweeping water, black with dirt and muck
is breaking tiny waves at the man’s very feet
his outer look is anything but clean.
Neat -- if you mean tidy, it works. If you mean cool or groovy, find another word.
Very -- I call this very turrets. We just love to stick very in, even when it makes no sense at all. What are very feet? I know it's meant to be dramatic. Try being poetic.
The man whose wife is a body somewhere there
floating with the song of death,
I'd like to see you cut there floating with the song of death, which merely repeats "a body somewhere."
Other than that, a good, solid portrait.
old 'pweter' is dying, but never my respect or affection
Blessings and best wishes - S.
losing everything is a daily adventure." These give me chills.
10 4 u
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Jesus Love You Too!!!!!
Thanks for posting in Journey Into Poetry !