by Kushal Poddar
Member since:
January 19, 2008

wintry house (Wednesday writing essential)

January 14, 2009 09:38 PM EST
views: 206 | comments: 49

 

wintry house

Wednesday writing essential


The long tortuous road with wintry wind

playing with fistful of dirt thrown at us.

With a cloud over our heads we

used to progress. "Here it is." Dad's favorite

winter hunt was a lonely brunt out house,

he had planned to develop, a raw plan,

destined to be kept on hold forever.

 

I didn't mind once we traveled the path.

The broken windows and grass on the floor

had a world of play, secret games of

innocent vagueness. Still it made us sad.

Sadness like winter on our garden.

 

And then one winter dad said," No picnic."

The house and lands were not ours since then.

A cloud rained heavily inside.

I had lost a crippled close friend.

© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar

 

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Comments: 49

Lisa Frost Jan 14, 2009, 9:40pm EST
well done
Georgiana S. Jan 14, 2009, 9:52pm EST
"...innocent vagueness." love it!
JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Jan 14, 2009, 9:53pm EST
Love the last stanza.
Jennifer Lee Jan 14, 2009, 9:58pm EST
I love the second stanza. What fantastic imagery! I could imagine myself there. Well done my dear friend.
Cheryl W. Jan 14, 2009, 10:06pm EST
Wonderful poem, Poddar!
Connie L. Jan 14, 2009, 10:32pm EST
very good
Jennifer aka Jenn B. Jan 14, 2009, 10:52pm EST
I enjoyed this one Poddar
Alison H. Jan 14, 2009, 11:02pm EST
Not all dreams come true. Haunting poem/story, well-told. The end lines of each verse are so powerful.
Erica Hidvegi Jan 14, 2009, 11:19pm EST
Ah now this explains what I am keeping precious in my mindset . . ." a raw plan,
destined to be kept on hold forever" . . . thank you for the enlightenment and great poetry !
Jennifer Lee Jan 14, 2009, 11:29pm EST

Fairies Comments

Spicecomments.com - Fairies Comments


Thank you for posting our group! Cheers, Julia
JOHN BECK Jan 15, 2009, 12:06am EST
One feels the loss when a parent loses his/her dreams. Well written, Poddar.
Elsie Duggan Jan 15, 2009, 12:31am EST
Beautiful Poddar, sadness at the end,
Kathryn E. Jan 15, 2009, 12:55am EST
Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Kathryn E. Jan 15, 2009, 1:08am EST
A Notable in Gather Writing Essentials, Wednesday
Robert - just a simple man - B. Jan 15, 2009, 1:45am EST
This could be an analogy of my adult life. Am I the house or am i the ghost who haunts in?

Nice writing my friend.

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KC Klein Jan 15, 2009, 3:30am EST
a good, solid, soulful portrait
Svetlana Goryacheva Jan 15, 2009, 6:51am EST
As always, brilliantly written, dear Poddar! ;-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Christine K. Jan 15, 2009, 6:51am EST
I can see the old house! Well done Poddar!
Dorothy H. Jan 15, 2009, 6:59am EST
Beautifully written!
Nancy Biri Jan 15, 2009, 8:03am EST
Nice job
Sheila J. Jan 15, 2009, 8:17am EST
You've captured the hauntedness of dreams beautifully. Thank you!
Ann M. (Site Scryer) Jan 15, 2009, 9:15am EST
Your poem evokes a desolate wintery landscape that seems to be just as real inside the narrator's mind as outside it.
Ann M. (Site Scryer) Jan 15, 2009, 9:15am EST
Thank you for posting this to The Surreal Circus.
I also liked the phrase "innocent vagueness"
Pam S. Jan 15, 2009, 10:28am EST
beautiful
Teresa A. Jan 15, 2009, 10:52am EST
Very nice work.
Elizabeth H. Jan 15, 2009, 11:55am EST
Enjoyed this one. Thanks.
Stacey (Jesus is coming soon! ) U. Jan 15, 2009, 12:33pm EST
Aww. It is sad to lose a childhood place. I lost mine to a housing development.
Deloris Wright Jan 15, 2009, 12:53pm EST
It is sad when we have to lose our dream. Thank you Poddar great poem
Kristina B. Jan 15, 2009, 1:26pm EST
I see the little boy trudging along that road trying to keep up with his father. Hating the journey, his mind... a million miles away, anticipating familiar sights on the horizon. I like the line ... "Sadness like winter on our garden." It's a stark, barren picture when I first conjure it up. Gardens in winter are barren on the surface, then I imagine what lies beneath and see hope, though the flowers might look different than expected when spring finally arrives.

This is beautiful.
Angela A. Jan 15, 2009, 2:26pm EST
Beautiful!
My computer is moving very slowly today, so sorry for the very short comment.
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
Sharon P. Jan 15, 2009, 3:01pm EST
Beautiful, and sad.
Karen F. Jan 15, 2009, 6:26pm EST
Nicely written...loved it.
Debra B. Jan 15, 2009, 8:45pm EST
Yes, I can see how it would be like losing a friend. Another lovely piece.
Stephanie S. Jan 15, 2009, 8:46pm EST
good poem. very well written
blaine d. Jan 15, 2009, 10:36pm EST
beautifully sad!
Michelle W. Jan 16, 2009, 10:03am EST
How Sad ... and how true, at many levels, for many people

Thanks for posting in Journey Into Poetry !
Chas Andrews Jan 16, 2009, 10:56am EST
thanks!
Sherrie H. Jan 16, 2009, 2:33pm EST
very heavy.
Shelbia C. Jan 18, 2009, 3:56am EST
You imagery is always so good.
Chana M. Jan 19, 2009, 12:44pm EST
You all know I hate generic comments, but I really do feel miserable. I have to pass things through moderate before it gets to full. I am sorry. Thank you for sharing this @ Art - Any Medium!
Diane "stormyz" B. Jan 19, 2009, 1:16pm EST
Thank you for posting this to the Ratings Rampage Group
regina k. Jan 21, 2009, 3:00am EST
wonderfully deep
Roberta Moto Jan 29, 2009, 9:11pm EST
great writing, thought provoking, you paint a picture with words

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