MY Personal Version of A "Late" Christmas Story

I've been gone so long because of this thing called Holiday Break.  It's been no break.  But the worry of no school, lunch money, getting up early, having the 1 outfit clean that has to be worn has been nice.  I must say that December was an escrutiating month this time.  Too much going on and not enough time.  Really.  We had a few unexpected things come into play in the end, but we will get through all of it too, eventually.  I have had so many lemons thrown at me you should see how big MY lemonade stand is!  Move over WalMart!!! 

I have to start this with an event that took place right before Christmas.  We all decided to meet in the middle and take our grandfather out to dinner for his birthday.  When I say we I mean myself, my children, mom, and slackermom and her brood.  We had told him we would take him anywhere he wanted to go.  He is in a nursing home and always complains of the awful food.  He even told me that it wouldn't be quite as bad if it wasn't so gross looking, besides the taste.  Anyway, he choose Golden Fiasco Corral.  I had to pick him up because he can not get into anyone elses vehicle.  I took the SUV.  He had never seen it.  He was like a child with a new toy.  He asked every question possible.  What do all these buttons do on the seat?  Why is my seat hot?  Is that a fuzz buster?  Does it work?  Is that a tv?  What do you mean it tells you where you need to go?  I told you Golden Corral.  You know where that is don't you?  Can I watch Animal Planet on it?  Hey, that sounds like the thing on that movie RV.  I guess I am too used to my 14 year old and her ipod.  The only thing we hear from her is that she needs to go to the bathroom or she's hungry.  It's funny how you forget that someone else can be so curious about things.  In the mean time my mother is calling me asking if I am even in town yet, she's waiting at the restaraunt and my sister and her brood are still in another town and their son is carsick again. 

After we all finally arrived and got seated, we got unseated.  It's funny how you automatically do that in a restaraunt like that.  Everyone went to get their plates filled.  I though, stood at the section for steak for about 15 minutes.  There was myself, and two other women that wanted well done.  We couldn't get the non english speaking man to understand us, or he was just being an a**hole.  Either way, another woman went and got the manager and he proceeded to yell at us.  WTF?  I told him to F off (those of you who know me well enough know that I did.  I don't care where I was.)  As Icame back to the table with no steak on my plate, my son asked where was my meat?  I told him the scenario and he left the table.  He arrived a few minutes later with one plate entirely heaped with well done steak and informed us that the man up there and the manager now know what well done means. 

We had a good time anyway, took lots of pictures and laughed a lot.  Our mom went to work and we all went back to our grandfathers place.  The kids played the guitar for him.  I think he really enjoyed everything.  After that, my daughter and I, and the brood met at Starbucks across the street.  None of us wanted to try to make it on our trips home with no caffeine in our system.  After we ordered and sat down, we decided we should make our Christmas plans right then.  We had always celebrated on Christmas except last year which was Christmas Eve.  Neither one of those options were going to work this year.  I live too far for everyone to drive on Christmas and be able to enjoy their own day not all on the highway and Christmas Eve wasn't going to work because the present for the kids could only be used after Santa came.  We decided on the day after Christmas.  In the middle of our discussion, we were interrupted by a few outtakes from the children.  My daughter chimes in and says how she is going to go find some huge pot belly pigs (I'm still wondering where she thought she was going to find those) and go leave them on the doorsteps of all the "Haunakhans".  Okay, now she has our attention.  She said "you know, Haunakhans."  Maybe it was the long day of events or all the caffeine in the last 10 minutes, but we laughed so hard we cried.  Then Slackermoms youngest Eric chimes in and says, "Hey, I just want you all to know that when I grow up I am having a restaraunt called Come and Puke.  I am going to have puke soup, puke stew, vomit cookies, vomit gravy".  His list went on and on.  I'm still hoping his financial means don't work on that one.  By the time we all left and headed our separate ways, my stomach hurt so bad from all the laughing. 

On Christmas day, both of my kids sat and looked at the tree and asked all day if they could open just one present.  They sounded like two toddlers.  I couldn't let them, because everything but their big presents were wrapped in the same size boxes, so I couldn't remember what was what.  I get more like my grandmother everyday.  My husbands daughter brought his grandson down later that day.  One of his presents was a Little Tykes guitar.  He gave us quite a show until they headed back.  The next day is when everyone else arrived.  I had made a vat of chili instead of the traditional dinner.  Too much work and cost right after Thanksgiving.  My sister brought all of her container of oh so wonderful cookies.  I think she brought 6 containers full.  There is one left.  The adults were starving and the kids wanted to open presents.  We ate fast, then started the process of placing everyones packages in their "pile".  My nephew couldn't wait.  He had to start opening.  Two of his presents were packed in boxes that they did not come in originally.  Okay, one was an instant oatmeal box and the other was a set of three glass casserole dishes with lids.  He was pissed!  He stomped upsairs and yelled over the balcony that he didn't even want to come here anymore more if we were just going to give him food for presents.  When we finally convinced him to actually look in the boxes he was very excited.  Legos and Club Penguin figurines.  Slackermom had a very special gift just from me that I made all by myself.  It was the best!!!!!!  I'll let her tell you about it in one of her own posts.  I think she wants to do a photo essay on it.  It is something that she has been complaining about not "winning", but now she has one.  Our mom finally got her computer.  But now we all wish we wouldn't have given it to her because she has NO CLUE what to do.  We told her to clean a space in her house big enough for a desk, get a desk and then call us.  We know we're off the hook until this summer.  Slackermom got my son a mandolin.  He loved it.  Never put it down.  Played it for the rest of the day.  I told him that for his birthday he is getting a pair of overalls and boots and he's going to go over to Steal Your Dollar City and make us all a fortune this summer.  I got all together, 565 flowers for my scrapbooking and a new paper cutter.  I think the cutter is the Cadillac of scrapbook paper cutters!  The flowers were awesome!!!!  To those of you you who don't scrapbook think I am even crazier than I was.  My niece and daughter ran around changing their new clothes like mad, as girls do with new clothes, and listened to my daughters new cd's.  She loves this group called Apocolytica.  They play nothing but Cellos.  I really like them too.  The grown men in the house didn't fare too well with the gifts.  I think they get just as much out of getting to watch us grown goofy women act like nuts though.  We always have so much fun when we are all together.  A little noisy, but fun!  After the gift opening, my husband, son and nephew all chased each other through the house, out on the decks, around the house, back through with the nerf swords.  Those were the best thing I ever invested $3 on!  That's what every boy that comes here does.

It didn't really seem like Christmas.  We had all the doors and windows open.  It got up to almost 70 that day.  The kids played and played.  Us girls talked and talked.  And the men computed and computed.  They were exchanging pictures on computers.  All in all, everything went great.  I can't wait until next year.  Although, my sister in law that lives in NJ has told us that it is her turn with us next Christmas.  Doesn't it get cold in NJ?