Happy Christmas (to Fulltime Employees Only)

Not that I ever expect much from employers around the holidays, but either be cheap all the way or not at all.Be stingy in an equitable fashion.

Oh, you can depend on staff members to contribute bountifully to a potluck, but you know who has the largest salary because that's the person bringing ice or a cheeseball. (The same cheeseball year after year, I suspect. It's never touched because it's nasty looking and there are no crackers accompanying it.)

The e-card has taken place of the company holiday greeting and can be viewed online at anytime for the next 10 years. I've never worked where bonuses were handed out, but one employer used to have a huge system-wide party until people started bringing their own booze instead of paying for drinks at the cash bar. They didn't say we couldn't drink at the party unless we weren't paying $5 for a bottle of Budweiser.

I've had a couple bosses who gave a gift card or a free lunch or some over-priced cookies. Nice thought and nearly everyone appreciates a something shiny or flame-broiled. But this year...well, let's just say I was a stunned at the holiday snubbing parttime employees received from the college that employs us.

On my way into the building a couple weeks ago, one of my friends who is in the fulltime tier of employees, was on his way out the door. He mentioned to me he was popping over to HR. (Yes, popping, he is British by birth, so he pops). I wished him luck - going to HR is rarely a pleasant visit. He waved a postcard at me and said he was going to pick up his "holiday gift." Did I want to go with?

I checked my mailbox. No postcard. I checked the mailboxes of the other parttime employees. No postcards there either. WTF?

Seems in drawing up their naughty and nice list, the parttime staff was automatically put in the first category. Let's see, do they have vacation hours, sick leave, or health insurance? No. Then they don't need to be remembered at holiday time. Santa probably shits down their chimneys anyway.

The "holiday gift" was a cheesy, little flashlight (remember, people like shiny things) and I probably would not have trekked across campus in the twenty degree weather to pick one up. But it's the thought that counts, correct?

I can only hope HR doesn't  find out we go to the free lunch on in-service day or that we take advantage of our employee discount at the bookstore. Without those perks, I'm sure I wouldn't find the motivation to show up for work.