Many of you know that I'm a nightowl and usually don't get to bed until close to sunrise. Last night was no exception. There I am happily sleeping in the midst of a bizarre dream (my favorite kind) when I am woken up at 9 am by this amazing racket.
get away this is my front porch, i've claimed these people, they are mine.
What could only be described as a sort of din that could only be produced by a large caroling band of Yoko Onos was outside my bedroom window.
now go away you annoy me, on christmas eve, on christmas eve.
At first I tried to burrow back under the blankets and wish them all sorts of evils, but they only raised their voices louder.
i can scream louder than you, to tick you off and bother you.
That's it! I can't take this racket anymore! i grumble and jump from the bed.
i can make your ears bleed, on christmas eve, on christmas eve.
I hurry to the kitchen and fill a pot with water and bustle to the front door. I am suddenly the very image of my Grandmother. I whip the door open and start yelling. SHUT UP, GO AWAY!
i told you to go away, now you've angered the resident, now go away and let me be.
I chuck the pan of water at the unwanted duo standing by my window making them scatter and go back inside grumbling.
now look what you have done, on christmas eve, on christmas eve.
Apparently that didn't work so i turn to plan b.
a little water can't stop me, from bothering and pestering you.
I grab the empty tubes of wrapping paper and barrel back thru the door.
oh my god what the hell is that, on christmas eve, on christmas eve.
I start banging the tubes together and twirling them thru in the air while chasing the offending beasts around the building.
I can only imagine what my neighbors thought and was quite sure that one or more of them would have the paddy waggon at my door shortly, but I didn't care.
Teach those cats that it's MY front porch, I'm bigger than you, and louder too.
At least I was wearing my brand new Nightmare Before Christmas PJ's for when they come to take me away.
on Christmas Eve in the morning.
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Comments: 63
You need a cat wrangler. You know, someone who wrangles a cat.
I don't know what wrangle is either!
All the neighbors would come watch.
the maine coon is uber-friendly, so i don't think he's been a stray long, but the russian blue out there is a whiny b*tch who keeps coming back just to mess with the maine coon. it's even starting to annoy Rita (our russian blue) with all their racket.
OK. Truth? I just want to use my Super Soaker on something. Maybe you need to buy one of those?
hmmm super soaker. now i wish i had gotten one for mason for christmas.
Heh heh heh
i couldn't figure out how to do the musical notation on here though.
Yeah, yeah...I know. I'm always confused. It's Ina's fault. Her merry go round video made me dizzy!
Momento por favor
I know it can be done but I'm not sure yet...how!
I have something for you, by the way. I've been putting off posting it until I could find the time to type up the English translation, but now it's getting late, so I'll just have to give a brief approximate summary instead, I think...
do you have my new mailing addy?
Thank you for posting to this group whose only purpose is to thank you for posting to this group.
Just imagine what they'd think if they found out that cats are "talking" to you...
Ina's right, BTW -- I'm the one with the Maine Coon. You're going to HAVE to come up with something better than water and motion to chase that one away. Unfortunately, they do see predisposed to liking water (mine does, and frequently hops into the tub with either FOW and me if given the opportunity) and motion seems to be nothing more than a sensory orgasm for her.
Actually, YOU keep experimenting until you find something that chases the Maine Coon away, and then share that knowledge with me. I was just thinking about writing an article the other day about how I've developed a whole new skill of making the bed with a 55 pound cat (she's dropped some weight,) refusing to move off of the covers...
*sigh* I hate living in a reactionary society...
since rita is a russian blue, i think the male leader of that organization who keeps coming back to stand off with the maine coon believes that rita is a traitor to her own kind since she seems to like the maine coon and not him.
rita on the other hand HATES the wrapping paper tubes, so it seems to have worked well on the male russian blue tormentor.
Happy Holidays!
CC Miranda, Dec 24, 2008, 4:16pm EST
WHOA! Until I realized there was someone named Priscilla on this thread, I thought you were talking to my Maine Coon, Priscilla. Freaked me out... save me, Goth Samurai Baby Jesus!
Hilarious! You're definitely getting into Erma Bombeck territory.
Ditto to the Maine Coon. They're in the top 5 on my list of breeds of cats I'd like to have.
I bet you were a sight to see ponging off on some heads with the empty rolls from the wrapping paper. Yikes! :o)
Here it is.
I did send you a card to the PO Box address you gave. Did you get it?
heather, i haven't seen the bugger in a few days now. i'm hoping either he was taken in by someone or found his owners.