My Christmas Revisited

While I'm not fond of shopping more than an hour at a time, I love buying gifts for people. When I first graduated from college, I enjoyed being one of the family members that got gifts for all the aunts, uncles, cousins and children. After my first child was born, I had to be a little more creative, but still enjoyed the giving of presents. I loved filling my car to take to the Christmas get togethers.

Then my second child was born. Filling the car wasn't quite the option, but I filled the trunk and some things went inside the car, too.

When things went downhill for me financially, I got even more creative. I stopped buying wrapping paper, tape, ribbon and bows so I could put the money in the gift itself. By then my nephews and nieces were adults. I used my coupons and sales to get every day items and let them fill bags with their choice of things. They were still getting over $60 worth of stuff and it was fun for a couple of years.

The last few years I've been sad when I look at the boxes I carried in. I'm filling one floor space and one side of my backseat. The memories of all that used to be would make me feel like I'd failed that year. One year I was embarrassed by my puny gifts. It didn't matter that it was still much better than what I was receiving.

This year I stopped the false pride. I bought people what I knew they'd like. I spent less money on everyone combined than I used to spend on any two gifts. After the last couple of years, I don't think anyone else had any big expectations of me anyway. I've got better things to do with my time than spend it making myself feel bad!  It made my Christmas experience a much better one.

Thanks to the Internet and some very special sales, I was able to do something I really wanted to do. The last few years my mother has given me $200 for my birthday and then again on Christmas. I've been using my gift money to buy birthday and Christmas gifts. This year I didn't spend any of my birthday money. Whoo hoo! We've got 3 January birthdays to go, but I'm pretty sure I can avoid spending my Christmas money, too.

While I'd love to spend my money on clearance sales and bargains, it's going to something I badly need instead. However, the real gift is for me. I was letting my pride in past deeds color my Christmas giving a darker color. Living in the present allows me to brighten my outlook and releases the stress I was putting on myself. Christmas 2009 is going to be great.