Do you have a World of Warcraft Will?

So I was reading this article about what happens to our online personas when we die and it got me to thinking.  I went a week without playing WOW while I was playing Fable II, and when I finally logged back on the first thing I got was a bunch of people in the guild yelling at me about where the hell had I been?  We do sort of get attached to each other online.  I guess I would want my guildmates to know if I died for real. 

But then, because I am insane, I started thinking about what should actually happen to my characters.  You know, because I put a lot of work into them and I wouldn't want them to be lost to the Void of Abandoned WOW Accounts. 

So consider this my WOW Will.

Granted, I'll need to make some sort of allowance available in my will to set aside monies for the character transfers.  And Blizzard might get bent out of shape over me giving my characters to my survivors (but then again, they might consider the entire concept so novel and cool that they start selling a service that does this themselves).

To My Dearest Mike:  I leave whatever gold is left on my characters to you, as well as whatever non-soulbound items are in my bank slots (except for the stuff in Akyna's bank slots.  See below).  Don't blow it all on a Titansteel Destroyer.

To my friend Chris (aka tinkergnome):  I leave my gnome mage.  Her engineering is almost maxed and her mining is maxed.  You just need to get her Exalted with the Alliance Expedition so she can get the recipe for the Mekgineer's Chopper.  She already has the titansteel bars (assuming Mike didn't take them to get someone to craft the Titansteel Destroyer for him) and artic furs in her bank.  She already has epic flying and her epic helicopter. 

To my friend Kelly:  I leave my dwarf warrior.  Her herbalism is max and her alchemy is almost max.  She too also has her epic flying and her epic flying mount.  She's pretty well equipped at 70, though you will quickly replace her gear once you start exploring Northrend.  Unfortunately she is a fury warrior, which means you will have trouble finding groups unless you respec tank.  But then if you respec tank you won't be able to solo.  So I would suggest stocking up on herbs and selling at the AH so you will be able to afford to buy the dual spec when it becomes available.  I'd leave you the 1,000 gold to pay for it, but I willed all the gold to Mike. (Tell him not to blow it all on a Titansteel Destroyer, OK?)

To my friend Heather:  I leave you my Night Elf Druid.  Her inscription and enchanting are both over 420.  Unlike my other characters, her secondary skills are all maxed (except fishing, but she is at 400 and has Seth's Graphite Fishing Pole and the weather beaten fishing hat so she can fish just about anywhere.)  She's a balance druid, and of course that means she's trolling around in some cloth gear because you can't find friggin leather armor with decent bonuses for balance spec (WE ARE NOT ALL FERAL DRUIDS!!!!!). 

To my friend Mike (as opposed to my dearest Mike aformentioned above.):  Yes, yes, of course you are also dear to me, but not in the same way.  I leave you my human warlock, because I think the warlock is the only class you have not leveled to 80 yet and you need to complete your collection.  She's already 70 and very well equipped, and her tailoring and jewelcrafting is almost maxed (though I think you already have both professions maxed on your other toons so it doesn't matter). 

To my niece Amber:  To you I leave my 80th level human death knight.  She is already NAXX equipped and has all her epic flying and cold weather flying.  Her herbalism and skinning are maxed, so you will always have easy access to quick cash, and she is already exalted with six factions and revered with five others.  In short, all the hard work has been done for you.  I trust this toon to you over all others, as you are evil like me and will unleash hell with her accordingly.  She is blood/frost spec, and can easily solo any two man quest and several three man quests (remember, Army of the Dead is your friend, my dear). 

Granted, she doesn't have any of her secondary skills up except first aid, and even that is only 400.  The only reason her first aid is that high is because netherweave bandages are worth more as vendor trash than selling netherweave on the AH.  But you are a death knight, damnit.  bandages are for sissies.  If you need potions, send mats to Kelly and tell her it was my dying wish that she keep you in stock with buff potions and flasks.  If you need buff foods, send the flesh of your kills to your mother, because the druid can cook all the good recipes and, again, it is my dying wish that she do this.

And if you Uncle Mike asks, YES, that is a Titansteel Destroyer you are using.