As it says in the description for this Group, the subject of men wearing legwear--that is, pantyhose, tights, or whatever you may call it--is becoming a topic of conversation in the media of late. On the one hand, a Google News search can find dozens of articles and a few TV stories popping up over the past year or two. The first company selling pantyhose and tights (ActivSkin, www.comfilon.com) made especially for men started up about 8 years ago, and now there are several others that have followed suit. The Wall Street Journal ran a front page article on it ("Kingsize or Queen: Men Have Taken to Wearing Pantyhose") in February 2002, which was followed soon after by one published in the Financial Times of London. Each year since then, there are a few more articles that pop up on the radar, to the point that one almost wonders if this is 'news' any more. Just this past June, on Good Morning America Diane Sawyers challenged some men to step forward and "Wear Pantyhose for A Day". They had many potential takers and aired a segment with the guys sharing their experiences.
Even though there are thousands of guys all across the country wearing sheer hose (mostly beneath long pants at this point), as guaged by sales of the aforementioned sellers of men's pantyhose, we still don't see it as a topic that comes up in everyday conversation. One wonders why that is? On the one hand, everyday experience suggests that men wearing nylon legwear is fairly well unheard of, but on the other, the amount of publicity the trend has received would just about guarantee that a good number of people in a given setting have read or heard a news story about it some time over the past year. The local newspaper in Columbus ran an article on "Men In Tights" in August 2008 that covered the entire first page of the 'Style' section, yet I never heard a single mention of it in conversation, even though I was interviewed and briefly mentioned by name in the article. The local talk radio station picked up on it, but not much else came of it. Is it that people just don't read newspapers that much any more? I don't imagine anyone would refrain from mentioning that they had seen my name in the paper because they thought I would be reluctant to discuss it--otherwise I would never have agreed to be interviewed, right? Maybe the topic of men's legwear HAS become so commonplace that it's not even mentioned, the same way we don't mention that firetrucks are red. If that's the case, we sure have come a long way.
This discussion group is intended for people to share their thoughts and experiences with this topic. Have you seen or heard any of the articles that have been making the rounds? Do you know of any friends or acquaintances that wear hose? Are you aware of it because they've told you, or simply by your own observation? Share your opinions on it as well. Although guys who wear hose are certainly welcome to comment, there are forums dedicated just for that purpose (i.e., Legwear As Unisex Fashion on Delphi). Therefore, it would be even more worthwhile to have others join in the conversation as well. Guys who have not ever considered wearing nylon hose... guys who HAVE, but didn't like them... women who have or have not known men who wear nylons. We'd like to have a civil discussion take place, without name-calling or insults being thrown--either towards those who like wearing legwear, or towards those who don't like the look. If you have a lot to say, write it down and post it as an article.
However, one caveat is in order: the fact that a guy wears legwear (sheer or otherwise) is by no means related to being 'gay'. The vast majority are not, and are in stable relationships with women. So let's just take that potential comment out of the mix at the outset, as it adds nothing of merit to the discussion--and let's leave aside the whole issue of homosexuality itself while we're at it. There are also plenty of places to discuss that as well.
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Comments: 59
Thanks for the input. You raise some interesting points. Being a conservative, living in a conservative suburb of Columbus OH, and working in a conservative profession (engineering) I don't have the interface with as many of the liberal persuasion as others might, so I don't get to hear the sort of things your friend related to you. I have a hard time figuring out the rationale of the woman who labeled men who wear pantyhose or tights as 'misogynist'. Maybe she attributes it all to a male plot to debunk the whole female myth that pantyhose are some sort of tortuous garment that should gain them sympathy and/or victim status for being 'forced' to wear them.
First of all, my experience (and that of scores of other men) with wearing pantyhose is that they are NOT uncomfortable if you wear the right size and style, and don't cheap out on bargain-basement brands that have too much nylon and not enough Lycra. If I thought they were uncomfortable, I wouldn't wear them every day under my trousers, against all current social taboos.
They won't fall down so much if you wear control-top styles, too. The only time I have trouble with them sagging down during the day is when I've worn those non-control top styles, and there's not enough 'grip' around the brief area to hold them up.
Secondly, as we've seen in recent years, women are clearly not being 'forced' to wear pantyhose, so even if they actually WERE a hideous torture garment, it seems that there are a lot of women who have 'broken their nylon bonds' and gone bare legged. Of course, like a lot of so-called freedoms in our society, it tends to come at the cost of other freedoms. Even though I've never worn skirts (not planning too, either), I can imagine that wearing one with nothing but skimpy underwear shielding you from winter winds would be down-right torturous! Going bare-legged allows women to leap from the so-called bondage of nylon, to the probably more brutal bondage of keeping those legs looking PERFECT without the help of Suntan, Taupe, or Beige Bisque to keep the catty comments of their sisters away. So, which is more restrictive?
On a lighter note: Don't feel bad about injecting politics into pantyhose here at the Legwear Discussion Forum. This past Tuesday, I injected legwear into politics when I worked the polls on Election Day. I spent a 15-hour stint working as a paper ballot judge, while wearing Suntan hose under shorts and a polo shirt. Not too many voters noticed, as they were busy trying to get their voting done. My fellow poll workers seemed to take it pretty well in stride it would seem. Some didn't notice at all, some did but didn't make any comments on it, and I had a couple of brief conversations with a few others after I mentioned that they seemed to be keeping my legs from getting as achy as they might otherwise. All told, pretty positive responses across the board.
Since poll workers are evenly picked from the R and D sides, my unscientific survey would seem to suggest that attitudes towards men in hose is unaffected by liberal or conservative political bent--at least in Hilliard, OH
I can understand that a man would want something to keep his legs warm and maybe even suck in his gut and give him that schoolboy figure that he once had. But, wearing them as a fashion statement is......well.....how can I put it without putting him down??? In my opinion it's stupid. Just plain stupid to wear them as a fashion statement. And stupider to wear them crotched kind. period. I mean.....isn't it going to squash your balls? Isn't it going to discombobulate your anatomy? Isn't it???
Men are logical creatures of habit....right? Where's the logic? Where's the logic in wearing pantyhose at all???
Please tell me. I may not be able to sleep tonight until I hear the logical explanation.
:-)
That's why there are tights for men in a slightly different design. Pay attention and do your homework. It's easy to find out if you ever bothered to use google to query "tights for men" or even male pantyhose. As for your comments on the fashion part being dumb, haven't you ever seen what men were dressed like in the Middle Ages? They wore tights (maybe not the nylon type but smooth and even just like today's), skirts, and believe it or not even heels and boots back in those days. Instead of showing intolerance and ignorance, you need to study your history and learn to be tolerant. I, for one, am sick and tired of women who complain about men controlling their freedom when in fact the opposite is also true and yet is not discussed. I could say that women wearing ties, pant suits, and even trousers is stupid but I don't and in fact respect the fashion. Why should women be allowed to take over everything men wear and yet limit men's fashion at large?
By the way, a survey not too long ago showed that when asked to choose between a rapist and a harmless cross dresser, women choose the former by a margin of 5 to 1 ! So who do you call the pervert? A guy wearing tights or the woman dating a rapist?
So, to your comments we go. First thing, there are quite a few guys, myself included, who DO wear hose with shorts fairly often (not kilts, though). Also, when I wear them under dress pants to work, I don't wear socks over top of them, since the hose serve the purpose of socks. Anyone who cares to notice can see the sheer hose showing at my ankles when I cross my legs and such. Keep your eyes open out there, you're likely to see some hints that some guy you know is wearing legwear. Most people don't notice, however, because it's not something they're primed to notice.
As to your next comment, I'm not tall, so I can't speak directly to the issue of how much pantyhose slide down on someone with very long legs. But, Martian does have a point in that pantyhose made for men ARE designed differently. They tend to have a little longer leg to accommodate taller people. Also, I don't know if you wear control top, but they're not just for people who have a little too much around the mid-section. I wear control-top (although I don't think they refer to it as 'control-top' at ActivSkin.com) all the time, although I'm not overweight, because the extra snugness keeps them from sliding down. If you also have longer leg stlyes, they're not going to have as much tendency to 'go south'.
As for the balls getting squished, you might think that would be a problem, but it's not. [will have to continue this later...]
It probably relates to personal preference, though. Guys who wear tight briefs, etc. won't be bothered by the snugness of pantyhose or tights. On the other hand, those who won't wear anything but boxers, so they can 'hang free' probably will never go for it. But, I can assure you that there's enough give in the fabric to keep from making us feel 'squished'.
Me, I'm not wearing so much for a fashion statement as I am for comfort. They keep my legs from feeling achy (due to not-so-good circulation in them), and basically make my legs look better in the process. Also, the practical reason of warmth while running or cycling comes into play. I've seen the styles on e-MANcipate.com, with the patterns, etc. To be honest, I don't see myself wearing them, either. However, I can't say they look bad either.
By the way, I usually wear the organic cotton tights brand. It's named "Maggie's" and I bought a couple of pairs from Whole Foods. It's not the same since it is 72% organic cotton, 23% nylon, and 5% spandex but it doesn't fold and the likelyhood of a run is less. Plus, I notice they look more athletic similar to the bike tights. Note, I don't have the patterned tights as that would likely cause a scene compared to the non-patterned ones. Have any of you tried Maggie's brand of organic cotton tights?
Glad to hear your story. Although, sorry to hear your growing up experience with your parents. I can only imagine how rough it must have been to catch all that grief from your parants bout wearing tights. I did not wear them as a kid, so didn't have that particular problem to deal with.
Pleased to meet you. Well, my parents are cool for the most part. It's just that they weren't used to seeing boys dressed in tights even though they saw the boys and men back in Europe who used to wear them in the Renaissance days. I was trying to get over my bad habit of getting hooked into staring at a woman's legs in tights and I was curious as a teenager as to what it really was like to wear such tight leggings so I bought a couple of pairs for myself although at that time I had to lie that it was for my sister lest I fear getting exposed. Nowadays, if someone tries to show me a woman somehow looking sexy in tights/pantyhose, I sometimes get angry and tell them to leave her alone because they really don't know anything about wearing nylons. I could be wrong though and I do admit to overreacting due to fearing that I'll get lulled again into another fetish.
On an interesting note, since I live close to most grocery marts, when I ride my bike with tights under my pants, I notice that I am able to ride longer with less fatigue building up though I hear the athletic version, unisex I think, is supposed to be better albeit thicker.
P.S.: As of writing this message, my heater is currently broken down and my wearing legwarmers on my arms and body shaping tights all underneath my pjs is what is saving me from the cold although my face isn't so lucky. And it's 30-35 degrees !
Steve brought up an interesting point about men who wear pantyhose under their trousers but never get noticed. I must say however that it's not always so easy. I was wearing tights under my polyester pants to survive another really cold day (around 20 degrees) and my pants ended up sticking to the tights more often than not. Thankfully, nobody cared to notice, not even the mean gals. Still, I get this scared feeling that somehow someone will notice. Plus I think I lost my recent date since I never heard back from her and feared that maybe she suspects that something's weird about my legs having shook them. She was wearing a mini skirt, pantyhose, and boots as well but I was afraid to tell her that I too wear tights for health and comfort even though we never discussed it. I'm still afraid of when to break it to my partner that I wear tights/pantyhose underneath my pants though not for fetish reasons for fear that I'll never be able to marry.
Sorry for the long lag in posting, etc. I've been fairly busy lately and haven't had much time to keep up to date on my blogsite here. Soon, I'll be posting some new articles that have appeared in the news over the past week or so.
As for your fears about being noticed (wearing legwear), I would advise to try and get that fear out of your head. When you're fearful, people pick up on that and wonder what's wrong that your fearful about? It's not that you're wearing the hose--people might not even be noticing that--it's that you're acting furtive about something, even if they don't know what it is.
Just yesterday, I went to pick up carry-out pizza while wearing shorts and sheer black hose. I had been out running earlier (see my photos page, with the black hooded sweatshirt/shorts and black hose for an example of what I was wearing) and just hopped in the car to go get one of those 'cook at home' pizzas. I DID put on some looser, black athletic shorts, since my kids give me grief for going out wearing the bike shorts... even though they don't say much of anything about wearing hose.
Anyways, I went in and placed the order and then sat there waiting the 5 or 10 minutes it took to prepare. During that time, several other customers came in or left. None did more than give a passing glance, despite the very noticeable black hose I was wearing with the shorts. While I'm sure that there may have been some conversation later about the unusual legwear the 'guy at the pizza place' had on--no one conveyed any disdain or other negative feedback. For one thing, I sat there confidently--neither averting my gaze from people nor staring at them. I was just a regular guy who happened to be wearing sheer legwear.
Probably the most notable thing may have been my wearing shorts in Ohio in January--but it was obvious that I had probably been doing some athletic activity, and the sheer tights were related to that.
Anyways, keep your head up and wear what you want to.
I went back and check on my pants that was in question and was curious if you were successful in being able to wear tights/pantyhose under woolen/polyester pants without any static clinging.
By the way, when I looked up suntan and nude color nylons for men, I can't seem to find any manufacturer that carries them.
Hope this helps.
I'll say that out here in DC, the weather has been in the pounding 20s and even teens this past month alone. There are some tights that look more gender neutral even in retail stores but I had to be careful not to tell a retail clerk when I was asked. She was especially Indian and since I'm Indian, I didn't want to let her know that I was purchasing it for myself since in our community, embarrassments are quick to spread and stick. The sweater tights under my pants are especially helpful when I have to stand outside while filling my car at a gas station, walking a couple of blocks every day to work from my parking lot since it's cheaper to park a little farther out, and even when I want to go for a brisk walk regardless of the temperature. Plus I don't have to crank up the heat in my car as badly.
As for the tights targetted for men, one of my security officers who's cool to talk to at work told me about it. He confirmed that unlike the cheap brand, the male brand doesn't fold as inconveniently and the chances of runs are fewer. Of course, he cuts his nails and keeps himself well groomed to take advantage of the warmth and comfort.
By the way, he wondered why I was still shivering from the cold unlike the other colder days and I confessed that it was because I wasn't wearing tights under my pants. He also told me not to feel so scared about it since he wears it all the time in the winter and to put those silly prejudices aside.
I understand about being discreet in purchasing legwear so as to not create curiousity by the clerks. I am comfortable though in buying them for myself and if they do question if they are mine, I would reluctantly tell them. I feel that as a part of the promotion for men to wear legwear/pantyhose, I would be more open if it were a male clerk than female in hopes that when asked why I could explain the need for warmth and support. This may stimulate them also to try before judging. I feel that in the area I live, northern michigan smaller city, it will be a long time before it is readily acceptable to wear tights under shorts and being openly visable in public. Sad to say, I wish there was an easy way to promote without being labeled as "different" or being judged. I do know that since I have been wearing I have been more aware of keeping my nails well groomed so as to not damage my legwear. All being said, I can only hope that sooner than later more men in my area will open up and wear accordingly. That is why we promote!!
The same philosophy can be applied here. Anyone who wears legwear for any reason should take care not to act as though ashamed of what they are wearing, but instead be prepared to share your reasons for wearing them, to anyone who might ask.
We're seeing such an increase in articles on men's legwear (aka, 'mantyhose') recently. And, as one would expect, there's going to be a certain amount of it that's going to take a derogatory tone. But--and this is a bit 'but'--quite a few are taking a strictly objective reporting tack instead of ridiculing. Or, they may take a joking tone, but it's not the 'mean-spirited', derisive, type of humor. As with anything that's new and unusual, there's certainly going to be a certain humorous aspect to it, and we who wear legwear have to be big enough men to laugh at ourselves, too. That's the quickest route to gaining respect in the long term.
Welcome aboard. To answer your question at the end, yes. We're not into fetish. Btw, your picture looks beautiful all the way and it's not just the nylons. :)
I'm glad you brought up the women's side of the issue on pantyhose. What you described is pretty much a symptom of what happens when what should be considered unisex gets restricted societally speaking to one sex over the other. The same thing is happening to those of us guys in the minority wearing pantyhose openly. I don't wear it openly at least not outside my house but maybe when I get married and my wife accepts the idea, she could perhaps defend me in public and I'll be brave about it as well. If pantyhose for men does indeed make it to equal's status, it will be interesting to see how men and women look at each other in pantyhose. I myself have been battling my troubles of getting attracted to women in pantyhose and yes, they can be so addictive even when slender. I myself have been thinning down to repair my health and look presentable and surprisingly putting on tights more often than not actually reinforces my eating, sleeping, and exercising habits and my toe nails are not as dirty and my foot skin is less cracked than it used to be.
Steve has been discussing about the need for men not to feel timid while wearing them. While I assume that you probably are not timid about wearing them, getting annoyed at anyone gazing at you just because you wear pantyhose is what you have to overcome or else you are likely to be more timid about wearing pantyhose under your shorts or skirt. I've been getting training from my fiance and when I wear them under my shorts, she thinks I look like a brave knight. The advice Steve has given for men wearing pantyhose in public could very well apply to women too who are afraid that wearing them openly under shorts or skirts will warrant unwanted attention. I guess both men and women need to overcome their timidity of wearing nylons under shorts and skirts in public.
I'm not afraid to wear pantyhose under my shorts or skirts. If I were too timid to wear them under my shorts or skirt, I would have posted a different picture. To me it's normal for anyone to be dressed like that. I used to be fat and chubby and would feel totally uncomfortable wearing pantyhose when I was younger but ever since I moved from my parents' small town area to St Louis, I became slender since I found myself having to eat conscientously and strive on my own as a single. As I was reducing my body weight and getting more slender, my legs became more sensitive to the colder weather and even on warmer days I realized that my legs could use some better comfort so I decided to revisit the idea of wearing pantyhose and much to my surprise I felt more comfortable in them. I'm not afraid to post myself dressed in shorts and pantyhose just like Steve isn't afraid either. I may get a lot of pings and invites but as I get around to updating my profile, my looks alone won't likely be the factor. As a woman, I can tell you that just wearing pantyhose isn't going to make a difference unless I improve my looks elsewhere. I am guessing that the same will apply to men. As you pointed out, your girlfriend is not looking at you as looking more feminine but actually looking more like a brave man by wearing tights. My parents would at first look at me dressed like this and even wearing boots and say crap like "Oh Jenny, please don't dress like that. You look like a silly slut and no man will marry you!" but I'm staying my course if I want to feel more comfortable and keep my figure.
Of course, you describe some inappropriate level of attention that is unwarranted and unfortunate. It's too bad that in every sub-group of people out there, there's always a small minority that behave badly and reflect poorly on all of us. It's one thing to do a little double-take to glance at an attractive pair legs in hosiery, and a whole other thing to rudely ogle them and then make it worse by coming up and making rude comments.
One thing in your post I would take issue with is that women who are overweight can't wear them if they want. It would seem to me that as much as hose can improve the look of a thinner woman's legs, they can do so just as much if the woman is heavier. Of course, this is limited by how much overweight she is, because they might just be too tight and constricting to be worth it.
Another thought occurred while reading your posts. Since pantyhose (at least the skin tone varieties) have become some sort of fashion faux pas in the higher-end fashion world, I suppose that there could even get to be a bit of a 'social stigma' attached to women wearing them, too. Especially with shorts.
But, I tend to reject that notion and think that they're fine--even with shorts, on a woman or a man. Your profile pic shows a nice looking outfit that seems to work well with the black hose. Although the fashionistas out there would probably hang you by your thumbs, it's really all a matter of what people are accustomed to. When something's 'out of style' (such as women wearing hose with shorts), that doesn't mean that anything aesthetically has changed about it from when it was 'in style'. It just means that people became tired of it and quit dressing that way. Then, those who weren't yet tired of that look and continue wearing anyways it tend to have fun poked at them for being 'out of style'.
After enough time has passed, some restless souls decide to try some of those things again (which may not have been popular within their own lifetimes) and those who were once tired of seeing it want to start seeing/wearing it all over again.
The look of hosiery (whether for men or women), for the most part, is an aesthetically good look--when removed from the context of what's 'IN' and what's 'OUT'. In addition to its functional benefits, they tend to hide all those little imperfections, shape the flabby leg, etc. So why shouldn't someone who wants to wear them be able to if they aren't one who's ruled by the whims of fashion?
Hosiery (i.e., tights) were all the rage for MEN a few hundred years ago, too. For whatever reasons they fell out of style and since things moved much more slowly back then, they stayed out of style for a good long time. A new wrinkle appeared because, in the mean time, women adopted tights (and eventually pantyhose when they were introduced) for themselves. Therefore, they came to be perceived as women's clothing and it became very difficult for them to ever again come back into style for men. (Reasons for the disparity between the acceptability of one gender wearing something associated with the other are discussed in one of the other threads on this site).
But, there are those men out there (and I'm one of them) who have realized that there's nothing functionally or aesthetically that says we can't wear them too, and look good while doing so.
I see you added your picture to your profile. Good move. That shows your confidence is growing. One thing I would advise you is that you shouldn't look forward to the day when you will be married and your wife can 'defend you' in public when you're wearing hose.
You should instead look forward to the day that your confidence grows to the point where you can stand or fall on your own, and will 'find your voice' to give reasons for what you're wearing if asked. If your wife is defending you, that doesn't conjure up an image of bravery, does it?
I think maybe what you meant to say is that having a wife (or girlfriend) accompanying you, who is also supportive, tends to contradict the supposition in the minds of others that you may be gay or something because you're wearing hose. While those of us here discussing this issue--and a growing segment of society--may be fully aware that the one thing is totally unrelated to the other, there are some--ignorant though they may be--that are not aware of this. Since they may not voice their thoughts and may just go their way holding misguided and incorrect opinions of your sexual orientation, having a wife/girlfriend tends to dispel that.
But you may want to rethink the idea of having your wife 'defend' you.
That is very interesting that wearing pantyhose has actually helped you reinforce cleanliness. As for your future girlfriend/wife, why does she have to wear shorts and pantyhose with you to defend you? No offense but your girlfriend/wife will actually love you even more for standing up for yourself with courage regardless of what some goofy or doofus says about you wearing pantyhose under your shorts. Asking her to defend you in public will most likely embarass her or even turn her off. Don't be afraid.
Thank you for the reply. I am glad I was able to give my perspective from a woman's point of view. I was at first afraid to post because I noticed most who posted were guys but I thought "oh why not, what's to lose".
I always reckoned that the reason guys who would often slobber around a woman dressed in shorts and pantyhose did so was they simply didn't know what it was like to actually wear them. Interesting that you brought up the results of two almost identical women, one with the hose and one without. I must say that I too have had similar experiences. However, I wouldn't say that the pantyhose alone makes the difference. Once, I was dressed as usual but on one day, I wore the typical high heels while on another day, I wore the same thing but this time wore boots because it was colder and surprisingly got more stares. Here, it wasn't the pantyhose alone but the boots with it that got unwanted attention. Yet sometimes, wearing boots no matter how feminine the designers try to make it can feel a bit too masculine and even make us look a bit more masculine. I noticed that the boots designers have come up with improvements to prevent pantyhose runs. I would like to know if the shoe designers are doing the same for men's shoes because I hear that except for certain athletic shoes, most male shoes can cause pantyhose runs.
Thank you for the complement of my picture. I found your picture interesting as well. I'll admit that at first I felt tickled when I saw it but I like your creativity. The shoes and shorts when I looked up close made me realize that it is indeed a man. Those two made wearing those pantyhose look less feminine after I took a closer look.
As for fashionistas who would try to lecture me about wearing shorts and pantyhose as somehow being "out of style", it doesn't bother me. I think they fashion industry maniacs have not only limited guys' freedoms in what to wear but that they have also morally degraded women as "sex toys". Even as my parents or friends want to call me a silly slut for dressing like the picture, I just turn the other cheek and move on. Sometimes, it is so hard to reason with these people and they'll even get so annoying by covering their ears and singing a-la-la-la when I try.
On the issue of being overweight, I used to weigh over 190 pounds and was a bit too chubby but have reduced significantly since then. You are correct though that even the heavier women could benefit from them.
BTW, congrats on your weight loss program. Bet you feel a lot healthier. I need to lose a few pounds and it's amazing how just 10 or 15 extra pounds can make such a difference in how you feel.
I think that the only way we're really going to see the trend sustaining is if both men and women team up. Women's rights came when both genders teamed up and knew that they were exploited. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that men fighting for their rights to wear tights openly like women without support from women is bound to fail. However, it will be much harder. For example, back at comfilon.com, there are a lot of out of stock listings and all because one supplier closes their shop. This keeps the price of male pantyhose higher to the point that most men who are for wearing pantyhose will feel that they might as well go right ahead and buy the default women's brand that are cheap. What's not realized is that the only reason women's pantyhose are artificially cheaper is women have been conditioned into thinking "disposable" when it comes to buying tights or pantyhose. What has to happen is that both men and women have to realize that they are both being divided upon and "cheaped" out. As a matter of fact, I gave my fiancee a couple of pairs of the male version of pantyhose without the fly and she actually found them even better than the regular women's brands. 2 months and no runs or holes ! In fact, she told me that except for the ones $15 and up, most pairs usually below $10 were quicker to run into runs and holes no matter how perfect her nails were or for that matter her shoes.
My wife doesn't mind me wearing hose under my shorts as long as it is in the house. We don't have kids yet but if someone rings the doorbell, I usually get out of the way and make sure I got pants covering my legs to avoid worrying my wife or myself. I'm not sure if leaving them as is would be a great idea. I'm afraid of the word spreading out and myself and my wife being potential laughing stocks.
Here's my background on wearing pantyhose and the issues I ran into. 10 months ago, I came across a couple of guys wearing athletic tights under their pants while I was working out and they told me that they often wear it under their pants to work since they're always having to sit down more than 4 hours at a stretch anyway. I thought about it and I got so curious as to what wearing pantyhose under my pants could do for me so one day I went out and bought myself a couple of pairs. At first, I felt tickled and nervous when I put them on under my pants when I went to work but after a couple of weeks, I seemed to get over it when I noticed myself falling less into fatigue and got over my silly fears that one of the ladies would tickle me and from there find out. At that time, I did not want my wife to know that I was wearing pantyhose under my pants for fear that she would get very upset and think that I was some gay or something so it was stressful for 6 weeks. One day, however, she caught me wearing pantyhose when I was going to my bedroom to change and she wondered why I hadn't taken off my dress socks (I put them on to further keep my wearing pantyhose as secret as possible) and I just rushed in but she followed me and demanded I take them off right away but I kept trying to scram for my bedroom and then she wondered what was wrong with me lately and why I get sweaty every morning I get dressed. Reluctantly, I finally conceded and took off my socks and then I think she noticed my wearing nylons. I immediately ran as fast as I could but she cornered me and wanted me to just calm down and let her know if I'm alright. I pretended yes but she smiled and wanted to know what I was wearing underneath my pants. At first I refused to show but after she got worried and repeatedly asked, hesitating more each time until she finally burst into tears, I finally gave it up and she found out. I had to tell her then that yes, I bought a couple of pairs because I wanted to see what it was like to wear pantyhose. She got very upset with me and screamed at me and cried for not letting her know. For 5 days she refused to talk to me but one day when she saw me get dressed and I was about to put the hose away and give it up she said "honey, you can wear it, no one will notice". I explained to her what convinced me to try them on and she decided to forgive me. I was not sure if she felt comfortable about me wearing pantyhose at all still so one day I asked her about it though I always hesitated and surprisingly, she told me that ever since the day after she cried about my wearing pantyhose secretly, she started dreaming of me and her each wearing pantyhose under the shorts but we agreed to do this at home only. We do have plenty of moments when we'll adore each other in tights and even play like children tickling each other especially when the two of us have had stressful work days.
But going out dressed like that? Maybe my wife but I don't know if I could afford to wear it outside my home for fear that I would embarass not only myself but my loving wife. I fear that more than me, she would be the laughing stock since some people would then probably go overboard lecturing her about keeping me dressed like a man and keeping me straight and all. I don't know but I don't know if I can convince my wife without causing her another day of such sorrow since I already feel guilty for scaring her. And what if we have children and they're unable to have friends and they even get picked and teased at because "daddy's wearing pantyhose" ?
I think you made too much out of nothing by getting too fearful about simply wearing pantyhose. I don't think your wife would have minded you wearing pantyhose but refusing to come clean and talk to her about your preference because of some fear that she won't allow it is cowardly. I can't believe you'd break her heart and trust by refusing to come clean until she forced you to. Consider yourself lucky that she didn't leave you. Coming from a woman's perspective, I can tell you that most women could really care less about their men wearing pantyhose but not coming clean about it and not discussing the issues with her is what will turn her off more than you wearing pantyhose. As for fearing that your kids will be affected, you'll have to teach them to be courageous and push for tolerance and understanding of males in tights which is easier to do for the younger. Trust me.
As to the issue of wearing shorts with tights in public, there's some fear even among some women especially when they're married. It is true that women who dress up in shorts or short skirts regardless of tights or bare legs are usually single. However, like men, it's all a matter of courage. I noticed from my married girlfriends that most of them don't bother to dress in short skirts or even shorts with or without pantyhose except on the occasion and even then it's kind of limited. I'm not saying that all married women do so. I, for one, will wear what I like to wear, married or single but will try to work out the details with my husband if I detect him being uncomfortable with that way of dressing. If he's still uncomfortable with the idea, then I'd understand even though I'd be a bit upset at first. Usually though, I don't think most men mind.
My wife, who does not like the idea of men wearing hose, told me that people were laughing behind my back, but I suspect that was based on one or maybe two minor instances where a couple of people exchanged glances and smiled or snickered. I say this because I've often observed people's visible reactions when I've been out and about wearing shorts and hose. It's not difficult to do so without them being aware you're watching them, such as reflections in a window, glancing from the corner of your eye, etc. The point is, I've only rarely seen people even so much as make a noticeable glance at what I'm wearing. And, of course, that is no more than what you would expect, given that it IS still an unusual thing to see. When I see someone wearing something out of the ordinary, I tend to take a second look, too. But that shouldn’t necessarily be confused with disapproval.
It can seem hard to believe that people often truly do not even notice if I am wearing hose under shorts. I thought maybe I was just not able to perceive their notice, until I had several conversations with acquaintances while so dressed, and had them tell me that they had not noticed what I was wearing until I mentioned it.
In one particular instance, I was returning from running in my neighborhood and was wearing suntan hose with bike shorts and a sweatshirt. As I neared home, walking to cool down, one of my neighbors said 'hi' and I stopped and chatted. We talked for about 15 minutes. It was quite sunny and the shine seemed pretty noticeable on the hose I was wearing. I just assumed that she must be aware that I had them on. At one point in the conversation a comment was made about my legs being cold and I replied that 'these tights do a good job of keeping them warm...' and tugged on the material. She was truly surprised to learn that I was wearing hose, as she said she had not even noticed them. Given that her reaction was quite favorable, I had no reason to suspect she was not being completely candid about having not noticed them.
This anecdote is far from unique, as supported by dozens and dozens of similar accounts on the LAUF website I mentioned above (http://login.prospero.com/dir-login/index.asp?webtag-LegwearUF&lgnF). After some time passes you’ll continue to become comfortable with the fact that what we once perceived to be a stigma, attached to men wearing 'pantyhose', is quickly melting away. If your wife is accepting of what you are wearing, you’ve overcome the largest hurdle already. I can assure you that you will rarely, if ever, encounter negative responses from people you encounter while out and about.
You’re doing well, however, with your concern over causing embarrassment by wearing hose and shorts out in public. This has been a bone of contention in my home, as my wife is not a fan of hose (on men or women) and is also very sensitive to the opinions of others. I walk a fine line between, on the one hand, not wanting to truly embarrass her or my kids; and on the other, knowing what I do about how people’s response to the men’s legwear trend has changed so drastically over the past 8 or 10 years… and how that came to be. The reason people’s perceptions on this have changed so much is because of so many guys have been bold enough to wear what they’re going to wear and people seeing for themselves that legwear, in fact, is not associated with ‘fem-guys’ or cross-dressers, etc.
If it weren’t for regular guys’ demonstrating that it’s a legitimate clothing option this wouldn’t have happened. So I try to reconcile the desire to not have what I’m wearing treated as something to be ashamed of, with a concern for my wife’s fear of embarrassment (even if somewhat unrealistic). Although I started wearing hose to help eliminate chronic achiness in my legs, I’ve admittedly come to like the comfort they provide. All things being equal, I would probably not want to forego that, even if my venous insufficiency were somehow cured tomorrow. Yet, the hardship surrounding it is only worth the trouble because I still need to keep wearing them regardless of whether I have to keep my legs covered with long pants all the time or not. Be grateful for your circumstances.
One thing we should probably clarify here is when referring to wearing shorts with hose, we're not referring to the kind of shorts you're probably thinking of. When I wear shorts, they're the typical 'guy' shorts with medium length legs--not the short-shorts you may be thinking of, such as women might wear out and about. So, it basically looks like typical attire, with the addition of hose that can be seen on the lower legs and knees if one cares to notice. The ones shown in my icon photo are probably a little shorter than average, and they are also hiked up a bit because of sitting for the photo.
Also, the black hose are not a typical feature, although I have been known to wear them like this on rare occasions. But, out of deference to my wife I'm cutting back on that considerably.
My wife stumbled upon this picture of the movie The Princess Bride since we've heard of it but haven't come across it:
http://www.amazon.com/Princess-Bride-20th-Anniversary/dp/B000TJBNHG/ref=pd_bxgy_m_img_b
Notice in the picture that not only is the guy wearing tights but he's also wearing boots. Now I know that in today's world, women are usually the ones wearing the boots and hose but it certainly would be nice to remind folks what our ancestors wore. Sometimes I wonder how comfortable I would feel actually being dressed like that guy in the picture. My wife even thought that what he was wearing was a skirt though I still couldn't see that. Maybe some compromise design needs to be worked out.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/B000002LCB/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_0?ie=UTF8&index=0
I'll also post to the photos section as per request though I'll have to make a note of it. From a distance, it looks like tights although up close it just so happens to be skin-tight pants tucked in boots. Ironic that it's a fashion exclusive to women. Boy do we really need fashion reform.
BTW, I must divulge one of the reasons I was wearing something that was so noticeable. I had just returned from a meeting with the owner of ActivSkin Legwear and had accepted an offer to join the company as director of marketing. So, now I have a very vested interest in furthering the public acceptance of men's legwear. It's happening. So if anyone else reading this has been tentative about giving it a try and going out wearing tights or hose, all I can say is 'Give it a try and see what happens' You'll be glad that you did.
P.S.: I hope peak oil doesn't hit us. If the chemical equivalent light sweet crude oil can be derived from algae and thereby renewable petroleum as I'm hearing about, maybe then nylon can be made renewable and even biodegradable.
Also, I received an email from one of my friends informing me that the wikipedia entry on pantyhose has been edited to try to make it clear that pantyhose is worn not only by women but also by men.
Thanks for the feedback. Interestingly enough, you're going to be seeing a lot more evidence of my campaign to redress these negative attitudes towards men's legwear. As of this past week, I've joined Comfilon/ActivSkin as their marketing/publicity director. It will be my task to try and shape the discussion that is going on in this area, and thereby improve the lot of all the men out there who have been afraid of being stigmatized for what is a legitimate clothing item for both men and women.
I don't have too much time to write right now, but you'll soon be seeing some more blog activity on my part. Take care and hang tough!
Martian, yes I've seen these kinds of negative attitudes like this before but please don't mistake all of us women. A lot of those who were giving hair trigger responses just feel insecure, unhappy, and even threatened that somehow men will take away the fashions that make them unique when in fact it is not the case. In the 19th century, more men abandoned tight fitting clothing on their legs albeit slowly and likewise women are sort of doing the same. Sometimes when I see women act like that I just shake my head and feel a bit sad that our gender has gotten so scared about nothing that they will give wacky responses. It's usually the women who don't like to wear tights themselves that respond with rude comments against guys wearing tights. But take heart. Most of them mean no harm and sometimes a bad experience can make anyone say all the nasty things about something he or she does not understand. You are correct that a lot of those women who are showy and fashion obsessed are dragging our gender into the mud.
http://www.marco.org/81566726
I find gather.com to be more constructive myself compared to most blogs on the media and the net in general. I think that some level of societal tolerance towards guys wearing tights will come about the more we keep the positive tone intact and skillfully counter the negative rants out there. Even if we can't get them to agree, at least some compromise can be worked out and then they'll cool down and come to their senses.
Hi Jennifer, glad to see you back.
As a matter of fact, I was wearing them under my pants at the temple and I wasn't afraid to confess that my socks were too long to be taken off. We can't wear shoes in the temple but can still wear socks. The rest of the guys who I went out with took off their socks except for one who was wearing cartoon socks while I left my nylons on. I did get some looks but for the most part it wasn't too bad. Usually, those are the same kinds of gazes on women since our culture is still getting used to looking at Indian women wearing nylons as normal. If I wore the typical tights, it would look like regular dress socks and no one would notice.
This blog is part of what I'm doing as the new marketing director for ActivSkin Legwear for Men. Feel free to comment on some posts if you like.