A person you liked a lot and had lost contact with is in
the obituary? I had a way cool cousin that was co-creator of childhood "troublemaking", and we lost contact when I moved at the age of 16. I found him last year, in the obits, bless his heart, and was amazed that he had stayed in the same county for soooo many years. Teddy Hogan had a brother named Terry and for many years, I thought *Hulk hogan* was my younger cousin. Thank goodness I never mentioned to others, for he wasn't, tho he LOOKED soooo much like Teddy's brother.
Yesterday I picked up the paper and found another cousin,
Bobby JoeTaylor, had passed away. He also had not gone more than 10 miles from our childhood homes. Him being a bit older, I don't recall a whole lot about him, other than his fantastic Guitar playing and the fact that he was ALWAYS kind to his younger relatives. The obit did give enough info for me to track down his younger brother, whom I had some fun times with ages ago. turns out he also lives within 5 miles of the old 'homesteads'. There really is no reason to have lost touch with these folk, considering They stayed put, and it was I who moved around the state.
I have made some REAL, tight friends here on gather, some of whom I have met face to face, others who share tears and joy with me via chat,
but it seems I have forgotten how to stay "in touch" the old fashionedd way with friends and loved ones,alas.
I sure am feeling a little guilt here, for all these people were good folk and I just let the relationships go...sigh... sooo, next week-end, I am going to Tarpon Springs and visit the ones who still breathe. if nothing else, I can thank them for past friendship and give a heartfilled Hug.
Don't let the Time pass by, folk...reach out and HUG someone dear TODAY.
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Comments: 38
In memory of Teddy Hogan,2008, and Bobby Joe Taylor, 2009....may they find each other in the next life.
I've never found anyone unexpected in the obits, but I had an ex-boyfriend drop dead at age 46 ... the same age his father dropped dead. That was weird.
I've heard of this a lot and it seems to be mind over matter. If they have a lot of fear that it will happen to them, it increases the odds!! Weird but true.
I am so sorry to hear that a couple of your cousins passed away, you have my condolences.
sad
I know I do the same thing Penni, let relationships slide...don't stay in contact like I should. I carry people with me in my heart and mind and I really should be more diligent in letting them know how I feel and that they play a role in my life, even if they are not aware of it.
Have a great time next weekend, it's always good to hug the ones we care about and thanking them for what they gave you is awesome
that is weird, barbara. I thought that I would emulate my mother in that respect, for our lives were so similar in all ways except for the child issue. She was pregnant 19 times with 11 live, I was pregnant 3, with one live. If my thoughts were correct, i am already on OVERTIME.... EEKKK... sure will be glad to be proved "wrong"!
Well, I'm glad you're hanging around :) My mom was 82, with serious health problems. If she hadn't gotten Hep C from her chemo she probably would still be around. In her side of the family, the women generally live into their 90's.
awwww... thanks, barbara. ((Sending tight Cyberhug)) The women do Not live all that long in mine, except for the firstborn few. I wonder if that is because they tend to get most of the good "immunity stuff" from Mom's body?
How true, katherine. The paper last night brought that to me Loud and Clear.
I quit keeping up with my high school mates a couple of years ago. we aren't THAT old, but from a class of only 24, 4 of us still breathe. Kinda wild.
I've never kept up. I could barely keep up with my own family, much less other people! My HS class had a lot of suicides, drug deaths, and deaths due to driving too fast. We were a wild bunch, I think.
Oh, I KNOW we were a wild bunch too,Barbara. Funny that except for me, the only other live classmates went into local politics. they Do seem to live longer lives, which is confusing at the least,ha..
Well, I'm sure the live ones make much better politicians than the dead ones. Snork.
Actually, barbara... Think about that for a moment... (ROFL)
I'm so sorry to read about your cousins. I too am guilty of not keeping in touch with my loved ones. I hope you will have a great time next weekend and that you will all stay in touch afterward.
I'm sorry for your losses.
You're right about staying in touch in the real world. A bunch of my cousins got together at the end of last year when one of our aunts died. We vowed to get together thisi summer when there was no funeral to go so, but we have not made any strides in making that happen.
One of my cousins lives only about 20 miles away and I have only seen her once in the 4 years I've lived here. Another one lives about 90 minutes away. It's sad that we don't see each other more, since we were so close as kids.
That is exactly what I am talking about, marilyn. I don't think we have much excuse (( hanging head in shame)) when they live so close. wonder why we all seem to do this?
Well for me it is not the obituaries yet ... It's the arrest logs. lol Sad but true.
Oh, katie! I read the obits to see when I might be in there. The cops never know whether to arrest me or, er, give me a Free rest......
Worthwhile sentiment, Penni. I'm sure we've all missed opportunities to reconnect or remain connected until it's too late. ....paved with good intentions.
sorry for your loss, but thank you for reminding us of the importance of staying in touch with friends and family and letting them know we value them.
You are welcome, susan. this all makes me want to run out and HUG someone...
That is so true dear friend!! I have discovered how much I miss the friends that were close but I never got to see much, until I am in another city now....Hugs and Blessings!!!
Right back at 'cha, lisa dear.
memorial day weekend 3 years ago i got a call saying a friend (practically a brother) of mine in tampa died. i was working at the time i found out photographing gay pride weekend. my friend was a founder of the tampa gay pride something or other. i got so much love from strangers that weekend when i told them why i was upset as it hit home for all of them. (he passed away from diabeties, not aids or anything like that, btw). i was not able to go to the funeral as they held that in NJ and my work wouldn't let me off to go.
it's still shocking when you hear the news of a friend close to your age departing this world.
hugs penni.
Sweetie, you are not the only one with this problem (not beign able to keep in touch the old fashioned way), I regret to say that I am the same way. I am so sorry that you got news of your cousins passing via the obits and someone didn't call you. That must have been hard. {{HUGS}} to you.
Penni your presentation evinces such human connectivity and Pure Heart at such a high level of Being that I shall need to pack some bottled oxygen just to hang oput and soak in your Great Vibes!!
How important your advice is, I got the same good and compassionatly-intended advice from another fine friend but I failed to take heed. When my Mother became mortally ill with cancer, George [my favorite Russian client and now friend, I help maintain his numerous Mission District properties in San Francisco] suggested strongly that I video-tape some times with Mom, I held off, honestly believing my studies into alternative health and healing would save her from the lung-cancer death sentence. I failed and I failed, but all is as it must be of course.
A wonderful and compelling commentary from your True Heart, Penni, Thank You!
Don't beat yourself up Penni. Life gets in the way and folks just get wrapped up in their own lives. Just look at it as a "wake up" call and do differently now if that's what you feel in your heart.
Penni, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your two cousins. How terrible to have to find out through the obituaries.
I always try to keep in touch with those who are near and dear to my heart but sometimes it is difficult because life gets in the way for so many and they forget. Don't be so hard on yourself over the not looking for the lost relatives. Friendship is a two way street and you certainly shouldn't take all of the blame my friend.
Take it easy. I hope you have a wonderful time in Tarpon Springs! Will be in touch soon!
Life is full of constant change and things happen we can't control. There is no reason to feel you did not do your part in having conversations in their lives. Your sweet memories are enough. Your heart is kind and that's what matters.
Sorry to hear about your cousins, people move and lives change. Don't feel bad!
Hi Penni, I'm so sorry you found your cousins already passed.
I never read the paper, but my sister reads the obits every day. My grandmother did the same thing.
When I met Karl C Klein here on gather, I was still freaked out over my close encounter with death and the trauma which followed. Then Karl, my mentor and dear friend taught me this: DEATH IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LIVING LIFE.
Now I am rarely bothered by my own death someday. And when someone passes I think: See you on the other side! (Karl's line, not mine.)
I wish everyone a long, happy life filled with wonderful moments to treasure.
I am sorry for your loss penni.
I am sorry for you loss penni. Its so easy to lose track of people when you move around. I've lost contact with my cousins, who I see at weddings and funerals, despite the fact that we were once very close, living across the street from each other. I need to make it a point to contact them.
Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my one cousins email address a few years back when a computer died. I saw on the internet her only son died in a motorcycle accident. I was shocked.
I have had one cousin pass away in 1982. He had just married a woman with 4 children a few months before. He was in his mid twenties. He had been promoted to supervisor and he was flying that night, his last day as a regular worker, to Michigan to be with his wife and family. His safety belt malfunctioned and he fell to the ground off a land oil rig in Texas. He had no chance of survival and the oil company he worked for sent executives to his funeral in New Jersey. He was a really great guy. He had wanted to be a forest ranger when he was going to college. We used to meet for coffee with his brother before 8 oclock class when I did my second year of college at age 24. At the time he passed away I was 28 and pregnant with my third child....I gave my son when he was born a few months later my cousins first name as his middle name...my younger son is Ian Richard.
What a thoughtful post, dear penni. It does happen, often we are surprised when we realize that 2, 3, or 10 years have gone past and we've lost touch with friends. We live in such a fast paced world anymore, it's sad.
Thanks for the reminder...I will be calling my old "best" friend tonight because of you ;-)
I know how you feel. i just found out last weekend that one of my dear friends had passed away in January. My daughter and his daughter were raised in the same neighborhood. Fought and loved like sisters. They talked last weekend on thier cells. I had her ask about her Dad as I had an uncomfortable feeling not to tell her to say hello. His daughter said he passed away. She sent me a tape of what was played at the funeral home. I havent even opened it. I know I will get very sad and depressed when I watch it. But I have to do it soon.