A Little Tour of Gather Island

Greetings, potential tourists!

I want to welcome you -- on behalf of our patron saints, Mr. Roarke and Jimmy Buffett -- to Gather Island, our virtual escape from the nasty old world.  (But who says it's not real? Have you been there? Can you prove it? No, so be quiet.)

It's a small place, with glorious sunsets, and I think you'll like it here.  (If you don't, there's probably something wrong with you, because who doesn't like a good sunset?)

(Seriously.  Who doesn't think that's spectacular?  Sure, you might not be a sand-between-the-toes kind of person, but you can still watch this from the air-conditioned comfort of our opulent clubhouse.)  (I mean, come on, stop the kvetching already, or you're off the island.  Punk.)

If you do like the ocean within reach, we also have seating right at the water's edge.  All chairs, umbrellas, towels, drinks and food are free on Gather Island, "where everything's made up and the points don't matter."  (The deal you work out with the pool boy is your own business.)

Clothing standards vary wildly, and anything goes, so long as you're wearing something.  I mean, most of us aren't all that (we might be the bag of chips, semi-crushed and slightly stale, but we're definitely not all that), so... um... please, cover it up if it's for "the good of the many".

We have plenty of umbrella drinks to go around, don't you worry, with varying levels of alcohol -- from "no, thanks" to "where did I wake up, exactly?"

You can even build a sandcastle, if you're not too sloshed to see, but there's no pressure.  This is a vacation, remember, and what happens on Gather Island, stays on Gather Island (and any other group you choose to post it to; sorry; we can't stop you from exposing yourselves) (oh, stop snickering; you know what I mean).

And if you are very nice (not necessarily well-behaved, or we'd have to evict Rob and Ian), you might even meet Mr. Roarke himself.  He sometimes delivers drinks to unsuspecting guests -- and how cool is that? 

Come join us in our little escape from reality!

Rob Appell will be hiring a fine set of pool boys (sorry, Cabana Attendants), and he promises some of them will be straight.  The lovely and talented Ann C., our Entertainment Coordinator, is arranging festivities as I type.  And word on the street is that Peter Swanson might divest himself of his heavy hat and coat (rumored to be made of Poise Pads) to take his own dip in the wide blue ocean.  (No remarks about him being a dip already.)

We're ready when you are.  Or, as they say, bring it on.

"Smiles, everyone, smiles!"  .... at http://gatherisland2008.com