My daughter decided to try out for the middle school soccer team this year. Other than one other season she played for the county rec team, this is the only time she has played soccer for a team.
Knowing that most of the girls on the team had been playing for a while and that J's soccer skills were not all that great, yet, I did not expect her to have huge amoutns of playing time. I did however, expect her to play as much as or more than the girl who really didn't want to be there.
This girl, I will call her A, did not have any great skills either. She also would have two more years of middle school soccer to play as she is a 6th grader and my daughter is in 8th. However, the coach would play her an entire game. And J would play maybe 10 minutes. Once, not even at all.
Still, I would not have been upset, except that this girl tried to quit the team, would play in the dirt rather than pay attention to the game or practice, and was constantly being berated by her mother for her lack of interest. Eventually, I found out that her mother had threatened the coach with removing her from the team if he didn't paly A more. I'm not sure why that was such a huge threat, but I guess it worked.
Now I ask, if a child doesn't want to play a sport, either individual or team, should they be forced? Especially team sports, where that kid that doesn't want to be there is stealing time and experience from one that does.
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Comments: 16
So feel good that you didn't mess up your daughter or your relationship with her! The more she plays and practices the better she'll get and the more she'll play. Most important, she'll enjoy soccer both because she'll get better, and also because you're not pushing or controlling her. Kids and people in general usually only enjoy things when they choose to do it themselves, so since you're not pushing your kid, she's free to enjoy the game. Hey, it's pat yourself on the back time.
Kathycal
www.pressuredparents.com
I don't want her to end up hating something I think she really enjoys.
No, maybe if the childs mother spent a little time learning what her child likes and not trying to shove her own glory days down her kids thoart she might have a child that will grow up to repect herself and value her own opinion and be able to trust in herself.
If I was at those games with my daughter, and I saw all that going on, I might be inclinde to walk by the bitter mother with a grape slurpie and accidently trip...and opps sorry about your hair ;)
I have been introducing Katie to lots of different activities so she can decide what she's into on her own. It's only fair; she's a person too!
After school was the problem as he joined so many things, as I say, on the same day, we had to put our feet down and tell him, "No more than one per day" - but he did finish what he started, the problem was, he wanted to start way too much!
He's still like that, to an extent, but old enough where we get to stay out of it :)
Marilyn