Listen, and Be Heard

I'm a big baby of a writer by nature. I want to write what I want, when I want, how I want, and then I want everyone to go read what I've written and tell me how brilliant it is -- how brilliant I am. There's something to be said for marching to the beat of your own drum. There's also something to be said for taking a little direction every now and then -- as long as that direction doesn't drown out your own drum. It's a delicate balance.

In the last couple weeks I've done better at progressing with my new novel. Sunday afternoons now have a set appointment to sit in the coffee shop for 2-3 hours and write. Thursdays I will find another 2 hours somewhere other than home and work on it a little more. Every weekday -- except one I write at least 100 words on the bus on my way to work. (I usually write twice that, actually). One day I get to pass on writing, and read something by someone else. (I do read on other days too.) Today I'm declaring Saturdays for blogging, promotion and "practical assignments." It's almost like a punishment that I don't "get to" work on the novel today.

To offset my struggle as a "Not-Coming-Up-Fast-Enough" novelist, I write occasional informational articles for either eHow.com or Associated Content. With eHow, I still follow my whims for the most part. With AC I willfully take assignments with due dates, like a real grown up writer.

Last night I submitted a piece on folic acid by assignment. Today I have another assignment due on solar powered electronics, and later in the week I'm writing something about the history of the Cannes Film Festival. I might not have ever looked into these topics had something not been nudged me in that direction. I may just find new ways to save money and go green. And I never know if the movie version of No Sensible People might end up at Cannes one day. It's full of love and loss, backstabbing and tolerance --it would make a great movie. But I've got a lot of work to do if anything like that is ever going to happen.

The struggle to be heard is one I know all too well, as the youngest in a large family. Being taken seriously is even harder. It is often easier to be quiet, and so I usually was. If I caused too much attention to myself I was probably bothering someone, getting in the way. Sometimes the only chance I get to listen to my own thoughts is when I write them down. It's my only evidence that what I have to say is real and that it matters -- at least to me.

This time I've made a conscious decision that I will not go quietly. So instead of meekly handing my manuscript over to dozens of agents and publishers one at a time throwing myself into an anxiety laden tizzy over and over, I decided to bypass the thrill of all that and publish through Lulu.com. Experience my anxiety laden tizzy one reader at a time like a true entrepreneur.

But listening and being heard goes hand and hand, and so I will make a real effort to keep listening, even when it pulls me out of my comfort zone. Even when it means taking a chance on a voice not many have bothered to hear. I just might learn something.

Gretchen Lee Bourquin's Blog is syndicated weekly on