(Best read while listening to Star Wars Episode 2 Soundtrack - 'Across the Stars' track by John Williams)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jALL1_KdN8 (it'll open in a new window)
I grew up in Jamaica Queens, New York ... however, I 'lived' in Floral Park, New York ... a predominately white neighborhood through the late 1970's to late 1980's. PS 191, Junior High School 172 and eventually Martin Van Buren High School.
What does that mean? It means for a little over ten or so years, I based myself in a neighborhood where I was practically the only black man seen on a regular basis when the others were 'bus'ed' out back across the border when the school day ended.
Through multiple sleepovers and friendships I sorrowfully miss to this day, I had countless proxy mothers, brothers and sisters that took me into their homes and I had privy into worlds, cultures and ideals that ... upon coming home ... many of my around the way friend just could not understand.
Maybe would not understand. So I got into a habit of separating my friends. Those on one side of the border would NEVER meet those on the other because the politics were just too great. Yes ... politics. At age ... what was I? Seven years old? I was already an ambassador and offering peace between two races during a time where there was a black/white fight, guaranteed, at the end of each school year.
Coincidentally, as Ambassador from the strange and dark lands of St. Albans, Queens Village (black half) and won't-leave-your-car Jamaica, Queens ... I was also their safe interaction with the people that they've seen and heard about ... but never had the chance to speak to.
Between the ages of 7 and 16, I've had frank and open conversations with child and adults three times my age on the reasons behind my own race. Now, keep in mind, except for skin color, I wasn't always aware there was a difference between me or them. If I had a friend that liked Star Wars, then we were buddies for life ... end of story.
Oh, but did they have questions. In honor of David Letterman, the top ten questions white people asked me since they had a black person in their home:
10) Why are you people always so angry?
9) Why can't you play basketball like the rest of them?
8) Why are so many of you in jail?
7) Why do you people always have dirt for lawns?
6) Don't you people like to be educated?
5a) Why do you always march?
5b) Reverend Al is a black leader? What kind of a leader is he?
5c) Why does Reverend Al wear those jogging suits? (circa 1980-1990's)
4) What the hell is Kwanza?
3) Why do you speak so well?
2a) Why do you people always feel there is an injustice?
2b) And if there is an injustice, why do you trash your own neighborhoods?
1) Is your hair like velcro?
This was the prime reason none of my friends back on 197th Street never met those off Hilliside Avenue. I wasn't in the mood to be questioned why I had a series of white friends and besides ... no matter how friendly I was with such close friends, not one of them ever slept-over my house. Ever. I won't point fingers or blame friends or their parents. I was just as guilty. At that age, bombarded by questions that would make anyone feel uncomfortable being black, I kept the color lines divided and protected any personal dignity I had by not bringing anyone into my world so not to lose any friends.
Well, that was way back then and, by no means, was I the only Black person (African-American took consistent, form-checkable flight by early 90's) suffering the light-to-harsh interrogation of being raisin in a bowl of milk. We now have our first Black President (a fact I'm and a whole lot of people, are still reeling over) and I don't doubt for a second that Barack Obama didn't go through the same thing during his early years. With his mother being white and his father straight-up African ... I guarantee the Obama family had their share of Letterman moments.
The fact of the matter is, while life has changed in America and continues to evolve right before our eyes ... racial divide surprisingly holds it's own out of one simple emotion: Fear.
Back then, people were afraid to ask them questions and had me, their first and only interaction with a non-threatening black boy2man to bend an ear. Those questions, and others, were real by genuinely confused people. And don't think for a minute that they don't still have more questions to ask.
If you're Black, the first position you might be taking has to be ... 'why they gotta be stupid and have questions about us? We're just like them' and reasonably, that's not true. Each culture has differences, collective likes, dislikes, financial, religious and leadership views. The average person back then and even now gets their understanding of a different race and culture by what they see on TV. So might want to understand the gravity of what the Internet has done for us all. My complete and thorough study of any one given race can be completed in an hour through a swipe of my finger, Google and Wikipedia.
If you're White in America (notice the capital 'w'. Not that 'White' is a singular, unified race, but lumping is a classic form of American ease-of-mind. Just ask the Haitians of Cambria Heights needing to check non-black or African-American), these may be troubling times for a strong percentage of you and I want you to know, your original Ambassador is here to save the day yet again.
First of all, I understand how troubling it may feel to have a Black man as your leader. The sight of a tall Black man walking in front of his White Vice-Presidential counter-part may be giving you a gassy feeling that may want you to do your natural course of action and move out of the neighborhood.
Moving out of America may not be a simple adjustment and I want to help calm nerves by assuring you that your Black President is as non-threatening as I use to be (these days, I'm deadly with a pen, paper and spell check). He will not steal from you ... his lawn at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will not be dug up by Pit Bulls and mysterious nocturnal comings and goings (unless you count visits by George W. Bush ... then i would call the cops). His wife and daughters will not be hanging clothes out the White House windows. Though I will not discount that cousin Nay-Nay and Uncle Wussup won't drop by for a visit, like the rest of the nation looking to enter the White House, rest assured, they will be checked out by CIA's top-TOP security detail.
While I'm at it, I want to address that ignorant picture floating around the internet ... you know the one with the guy on the bike with the T-Shirt: 'Nigger please ... it's a White House'. It's still a White House ... by color of paint only. Of the Forty-three pictures in said White House, the forty-fourth will be a Black Man and there is nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with hanging Obama's picture up in your home as well next to your pictures of the Pope and Kennedy. He will not jump down out the picture in the middle of night and rape your family. In fact, adding his picture will be a fabulous step to showing diversity to your children growing up in your household so they can get use to seeing people of color on a regular basis without having deep-rooted and embarrassing questions when they go to those remaining (and fading fast) all-white private or public schools.
Relax. Obama comes from a long line of us who don't hate you. He comes from the same upbringing I had that blended both prime colors of America with a healthy understanding of family and American values. What's that you say? He won't understand real American values because he's Black? (sigh) Don't let fear keep you locked in that ugly cycle of not-trusting him or other Black people for that matter. For keep in mind, it wasn't a Black man, back in the day, called the Son of Sam that kept you locked in that same kind of fear you're feeling now.
It's going to be a solid, nation-healing eight years (guaranteed prediction. Check back with me 2016) and President Obama is a basketball playing, well-spoken, well-thinking Black man you can trust into your homes as you have had me.
And of the rest of my race and culture? Just to let you know, we are enormously proud and protective of this man and his family. That said, you might want to look at the Obama family as having a unified nation of CIA-level brothers and sisters (particularly Black but also White, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, etc) who will, without hesitation, hunt and burn anyone bringing harm to them. Not one President in our past has ever had such resolved devotion.
You should also know, adding to help alleviate your fears, having a Black President is helping raise the self-value of other Blacks who have ... and still do ... fear you.
Self-worth in the Black community is at an astronomical all-time high. We are re-grouping, collectively, in ways that may be subtle to you ... but enormously comforting to us. Understand that we are not grouping to take you over now that he's in office ... but to take over ourselves in some of our neighborhoods that need it the most.
This generation, seeing a Black family in office ... at a time when Black women are single-parents in such high numbers ... are seeing the unlimited opportunities and will attempt to walk the same path in whatever field they choose and before you know it, you'll be able to allow your children to sleepover at an African-American's home while sleeping comfortably yourself ... especially since that Black family will likely be living next door to you.
In short, for those who need a better visual reference, it's the Cosby Show for the next eight years ... and the Ambassador sends tidings of good news that, during this period of mental evolution in the promised land-era ...
... everything is going to be alright.
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Comments: 36
I grew up in an integrated neighborhood - in Manhattan, near City College. My elementary school classes contained whites, jews, blacks, hispanics, asians, etc (what's left?). NO ONE was bussed in - we all lived there.
I had many acquaintences, just a few FRIENDS. Sleep overs were with the closest friends, but all came over for parties.
I am amazed how safe your friends felt with you to ask those (sometimes racist, sometimes intrusive) questions.
It's the dawning of a new day.
I'm a white girl who has lived on the other side of the coin you presented here. A minority in my own house for all of my adult life. I can't go "home" again because people just don't understand how my man and I can get along all these years(nearly 23). What brought us together? Batman and all that crazy pop culture stuff we thrived on as kids in separate, non-integrated cities.
Yes, we asked each other questions, accepted the differences, laughed at the stereotypes we fell into (he loves hot sauce, I love mayo and "Undercover Brother" just tore us up), wonder why each other's "people" couldn't get their act together, and came to the conclusion we are each other's people.
The Obama years are going to be awesome!
somehow I had that feeling when the crowds shown on TV started a spirited, excited, enthused NASA like countdown as California's clocks moved toward the 8 pm poll closing.
I'll always remember that.
With my proofing hat on.. "racial divide surprisingly holds it's grown out of one simple emotion: Fear. "
I think grown was meant to be ground. FWIW
Obama's personal identification with African-American culture is, largely, elective. (Although anyone who looks like he does can't really escape being labelled as "black", regardless of his background). He made a conscious decision to assimilate into black American culture, immersing himself in the South side of Chicago, joining a black church, and marrying a genuinely Afro-American woman. He might just as easily have returned to Hawaii after law school and pursued a political career there--where quite a few people might have mistaken him for a Samoan with an eating disorder.
Bill Clinton probably IS no less deserving of being described as "America's first black president" as Obama is, having grown up in Arkansas, where he actually witnessed the plight of impoverished African-Americans and their struggle to gain the "blessings of liberty" that this country ostensibly promised to all of its citizens.
Obama is America's first Mixed-Race President, an interesting amalgam of many different cultures and influences. He is what you get when you dump out the "melting pot". Probably the best way to describe him is the way he described himself the other day, a "mutt".
Well, why, you had all your 43 white presidents down the line and you expect your 44th to be the correction fluid of all that the others had written down in history? I say it will take another set of some 43 black presidents to offset everything. It's plain math. Otherwise, one has to live with the fact that the American Dream is either black or white. No gray areas there.
Obama however I strongly believe will make for a good transition president in this 'revolution". But I have misgivings with the use of "revolution" because for a revolution to really make an impact on the collective consciousness, it has to be done rather consistently and not sporadically.
Lastly, thank you for your refreshing views. It has never been this honest and poignant.
Corey B., one mighty fit bump to you. This is a tour de force of a piece on the times we live. My recently completed, yet to be published novel-Paper Puzzle-tackle the racial divide from the different cultural prespective whites and blacks bring to living in what is now Obama's/Cosby's America.
Keep up the good work. You have set a high standard and much is expected of you.
Obama does not say he is the pnly leader of Blacks or any particular group, he is doing what democrat party is dictating... So getting happy on that he is a black is simply day dreaming...
The article you wrote is very informative and points out many indecencies with black people and likewise communities... But, an individual effort mostly fails, so struggle for a collective effort...
And these kids were my people with no reason other than I have a scar on my face.
I've always had a special affinity for anyone who's oppressed for any reason. To me, to hate-attack-tease-oppress-make fun of someone because they're black (note the small b), short, fat, thin, stupid, Jewish, Catholic, male, smart, female, lives in Philadelphia, uses a Mac, uses a PC, rides a Honda, likes sex a little more than average people, lives on the other side of the metaphorical tracks (I've not seen much difference between patriotism and bigotry), is ugly, is beautiful or any other arbitrary delineation is just the same crap with different flies.
I'm a man with mutt Eastern European heritage, which would be called Caucasian, generally and casually in our culture called white. In reality, depending upon where we look and under what light, I'm more in clines and colors from red-pink to ocher, which only can be seen with the artist's eye or the willingness to look. But, be that as it may.
People who think me their ilk -- a white male -- often surprise me with ignorant, hateful and stupid comments about the other in private. We kinda expect an unkempt middled aged man in his dirty tee-shirt and oh, yeah, a beer in his hand, to spout some ignorant platitude involving the N word and the color of the house, paraphrasing Rush Cornball with expletives. I mean, it's a stock character. When dual-degreed business-suit says: "It stands for Can't Understand Normal Thinking," I'm still shocked.
The hate and fear of women I've witnessed in private from educated seemingly normal (white) men simply astounds me.
Back in the 60's, I was told by many people we had to hate the Russians, then called many things like Commie-pinko-fags. It seems, as I was told, they hated us and our way of life, wishing to destroy our freedom (same crap, different flies). Maybe in a surreal moment, about the age eleven, I rose above my psyche and humanity, out of my own skin. My father was giving one of his beer-supported high moral platitudistic speeches about the evil commies and how they hate us and we need to hate them.
I said: "I don't even know them. I can't hate them." I went to the telephone, picking up the receiver. "Who are they? Let's call 'em up and see why they hate us."
"You'll understand when you're older."
No, Dad. I won't.
"First of all, I understand how troubling it may feel to have a Black man as your leader."
Corey, Barack Obama is a breath of fresh air!
Paul G.: I've written many times on Gather that Barack Obama has more black blood in him than most of us black folk here in the US. I am as fair as a white person because there was a lot of mixing going on--whether forced or snuck--in both sides of my family. Yet, those who really look at me and my features would be able to see that I have a lot of black blood in me. If I tried to "pass" as my paternal grandfather did, I wouldn't make it.
(I long for the day when we all realize the color of ones skin and where one grew up, have nothing to do with the FACT that we are all human beings and come with a variety of characteristics. Dogs and cats don't discriminate, e.g. I wonder if it'll ever happen--just as I wondered if a minority person could ever be voted for as president.).
True, Barack has chosen to blend into the black community because of the way he sees himself. Tiger Woods wants to be considered a "Cablanasian". Different strokes for different folks.
Yes, I am proud to see this history in the making, but I don't hold President-elect Obama to be a messiah. He is human and he is also a politician which means he will not be everything to everybody. I guess--if you're pessimistic about it--you could look at this situation as the world has become just a lil bit more accepting by giving a black person a chance to mess up.
Way back in 7th grade, I learned from a new friend...we had all gone to the bakery across the street. I got a doughnut, she a brownie. She offered me a bite and I said no...she then offered it to me again, "go ahead, I haven't bitten from it yet." I will never forget the feelings swimming through me that would put a young girl, just like me, into a position where she would automatically assume I would not want to eat "after her." Marion taught me a lot that one day...by offering me a bite of her brownie.
Your essay teaches me more...I'm glad I've kept learning every day since Marion and I became best of friends...
Keep writing,
Glenda
Then when I was asked some of the same stupid questions by intelligent white people just to find out what they had always known about BLACK PEOPLE, man!!! I have to give you credit for again trying to explain to a group of racist people that we are just HUMAN BEINGS trying to survive in a world of destruction created by the savages of our entire past creation; it is very hard to keep saying that we will OVERCOME...
I understand that it will be hard to adjust to having children grow up in a world that didn't want anyone being equal, not even the women who bare their children. Being accepted into the HUMAN RACE is hard only because we have allowed control to those who are not HUMAN BEINGS. RECOGNIZE the loss of humanity for not only AMERICANS BUT PEOPLE ALL OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Keep trying to make devils understand that mankind can live on this earth with the absence of DESTRUCTION OF ITS' FELLOWMAN and you will only get more discrimination. We are being separated so that we can't even figure out what sex we belong too. It is sad to hear that men are not men and women are not women knowing exactly what they are by just looking down upon their own reality. BLINDED by a hand of constant bickering...
Listen to the comments that are being given to a subject that should have no substance. We all know that PRESIDENT OBAMA or any other political statue will never solve the problems of this world we live in. LOOK AT THE devils!!! all over the world and call them racist, terrorist, homophobics or any other word you want to call them and you will still get satan. No matter how GOD comes into our world we still want to CRUCIFY JESUS!!! with the terrible minds that mold our humanity.
The constitution of america is what we are to base our world upon and it needs reconstruction in the minds of the people who live around it. There is no need to say if a man is GOD FEARING or if that man's nationality is superior or not, it only matters that that man is the makings of mankind from CREATION and a CREATOR who has only one standard of LOVE.
I will agree with the rest of gather, Corey B. this is a good article but its' time to accept the intelligence of ONE who is INTELLIGENCE and has created us in HIS IMAGE. ONE who created life and the seeds it takes to continue the growth of life throughout the destruction and disobedience or sides we choose to believe in. YAHWEH, the only TRUE GOD and deliver of our well-being. Your will, you who make up mankind, is what makes us different...
GOD blesses you all....
I have struggled with this black/white division most of my life. Not because I am black, but because as a holiness person, it has always been against my religion to accept divisions. I've gone to mixed churches since I was six and have seen such love between the races as to make my soul soar. I have also seen such hatred, usually (though not always) outside of those churches, as would make even the heartiest of souls wither.
My feelings about President-Elect Obama are mixed. I feel cheated that I could not be a part of having elected the first black American President. My anti-abortion sentiments forbade me.
And yet, I am proud of America for having taken this step, even if I did wish our first black American President had been Condoleeza Rice.
As a person, certain ideologies aside, our new President-Elect is likable. I was super-impressed with his acceptance speech. I pray that God will bless his labors on behalf of our nation.
But I do grow offended when black friends insinuate that because I did not vote for him I am a secret racist.
As many things as are about race, it seems strange to say it, but some things aren't about race at all.
Still, one thing has become apparent, in the light of recent events. We've come a long way. But we still have a long way to go.
If they are doing somthing wrong in our eyes it is becouse they are half the other color we arenot. On the other hand if they are good or overcomming then it is our color that has given them that value.
My prayer is that someday that we can all get over the color issue and realize that it is the way that we treat eachother that effects our lives. If your child lay dying in need of a heart transplant and one is found do you question color? If you are in need of blood can you tell what color person it came from or does it realy matter if you are dying?
We are facing real problems in our world that are in great need of attention, there are people starving, dying of aids. We are destroying our enviorment with garbage and over use of natrual resources.
In a thousand years when life has been destroyed and long gone will it be known as the black and whites are gone , or just HUMANITY?
Great points, Samuel.
With that said, I can totally relate to this article and I'm diggin' you like an old soul record right now, Corey! This should be run in op-ed sections across the country or perhaps as a full-page ad across America!
Thank you, Nyota, for directing me to this and THANK YOU Corey for a well-thought out and brilliantly written piece.
Where I live people are always asking me are you okay do you live in the city. why can't I live next door to you and yes we have money, yes my husband and I grad college and so did our children. We live in the Dupage county area of Illinois not all black people are looking for a hand out in fact we can help others.