Grocery Store Wine Tasting Etiquette (my 1st...

OK, I'll admit it. It's not the classiest gig in the world, but I love my job! Basically I work for companies who distribute wine and beer. They hire me as an independent contracter to execute wine tastings at a bunch of different grocery and retail stores in the area. So pretty much, I get to schmooze with people and hand out free alcohol. Definitely not as glamorous as it sounds though! Since I'm usually at grocery stores, I'm serving the *very* general public. Prime time for people watching and being amused by lots of idiots. :) Here's a little list I put together of stupid things people say and do during my tastings, and what NOT to do. Sorry if anyone's offended!

-- Me: "Hello would you like to sample some wine?"
     Customer: "OH NO! I'm driving!"

OK seriously. I have Dixie cups here. How much wine do you think I'm going to give you? It's a sip, people. You won't get arrested or swerve into oncoming traffic, I promise.

-- Don't ask me where the toilet paper, bread, batteries, or bathroom is. I DON'T KNOW! I don't work for Giant (or whatever grocery store I happen to be at)!

-- Me: "Hello would you like to sample some wine?"
     Customer: "You're giving out ALCOHOL?? During the DAY? While people are DRIVING??" (she then shakes her head at me in a chastising manner and walks away)

Oh. People don't drive at night? Gee, maybe I should change my hours.

-- Me:"Hello would you like to sample some wine?"
     Customer: "Oh I can't, I'm on 27 different medications right now!"
     Customer #2: "No, I don't drink"
     Customer #3: "No, I'm a recovering alcoholic"

TOO MUCH INFORMATION PEOPLE. I don't care why you don't want to sample! A simple "no, thank you" will suffice.

--If you don't like the wine I just served you, please don't make terrible retching faces or exclaim about how awful it is so the whole store can hear you. I'm trying to sell this crap!

--Please don't walk by and laugh, smirk, or shake your head because you're just so overwhelmingly amused at the thought of a wine tasting in a grocery store.

--After you take a sip of the adult beverage I just served you, please don't hand the rest to your 8-year-old son/daughter to finish. (people have actually done this, one gave it to a 3-year-old)

OK that's just some of the irritating and amusing things I see on a daily basis at my job. Mostly it's a lot of fun though! I love talking to people about wine and getting different perspectives about it. I get a very competitive hourly wage to be a customer service pro, so I just put on a smile and have fun with it. I've been in retail and customer service for 7 years now, and I could write a BOOK about the general public and the unbeliveable things people say or do. Anybody else in the customer service field have some funny or crazy stories to share?