My trip to the hospital.

Today was the big day!

After a fitful night of tossing and turning, I got up at the crack of dawn and slowly tried to wake up without the benefit of coffee or juice or anything, which is not the easiest thing in the world.

Then a quick shower and a slow drive to University hospital...., which brought back the reality of morning rush hour and other 9-5 stuff practiced by the civilian population.

After checking in, there were the usual never ending forms to fill out, questions to answer, and the next thing you know I'm lying in a gurney dressed in a blue smock and housecoat with a pair of plastic slippers that look like shower caps on my feet and a real shower cap on my head.

More forms, blood pressure, blood sugar, listen to my breathing, shine lights in my eyes, poke me, prod me, stick me, put in an I.V. tube and get me to swallow some pills to calm me down and then insert a suppository to do something or other connected with the surgery.

(I don't really know what the suppository thing was since they were giving me a new hip, not correcting my tendency to be an asshole!)

By 11:30 I had seen about a dozen people and was starting to get a good buzz on the pills (Which made up for my lack of a coffee that morning) when some guy I had never seen before came up and said: "There is an emergency due to an accident on the 401 and the surgeon is needed elsewhere........., so your operation is cancelled!"

Here's your hat, here's your coat, what's your hurry?

At high noon, instead of being wheeled into the operating room I was at the front door, where the nurse patted me on the head, said I was a good boy, said she would see me in a month or two......., and shoved me out the door!

Gee, that didn't hurt a bit!

(And for you Americans, my brief stay in the hospital didn't cost me a cent!)


Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know......!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E! and H E R E! And as a paperback H E R E ! and H E R E !