Boy Meets Girl (July 10th)

Sometimes we just need a laugh (especially when it's 12:19am and we're experiencing a mild case of writer's block), so for a bit of fun, I'd like to share with you the top 5 most unusual Dear Abby letters. (For those of you who don't know, Dear Abby is a newspaper advice column that has been published since 1956 in 14,000 newspapers worldwide).

Dear Abby,

"I'm a bus driver and want some information on how to become a shepherd."

"I want to have a child but don't even have a boyfriend. Can you line me up with somebody?"

"I hear there is life after death. If that is true, can you put me in touch with my Uncle LeRoy Albert from Victoria, Texas?"

"Will you please send me all the information you have on the rhythm method? I'm learning how to slow dance."

"I'm a 50-year-old widow and my doctor says I need a husband or the equivalent. Would it be all right?"
(source, The New Book of Lists, 2005)

My own Dear Abby letter would go something like this:

Dear Abby,
My darling husband insists on opening glass refrigerator doors in supermarkets and convenience stores just to get a "better look" at the drink/ice-cream/whatever he wants to purchase. These doors are clear glass - am I missing something here?
Regards,
Confused in Japan.