Note: There are a few changes in Thought~Byte postings:
a) Instead of being posted Wednesday at 12:01 am (9 pm Tues my time), Bytes will be posted some time during Wednesday.
b) I am reposting the early Bytes (which few saw and which were published as images not articles.) For a while, every Wednesday will be one new Byte and one older Byte until we get them all in article format on Thought~Bytes
Thus, today I am posting No. 107 and No. 1.
If this confuses you, read No. 107. That might confuse you even more. :)
If you get a true answer you must be willing to accept the truth even if it is not what you really wanted. What woman has not asked, "Do I look ____ in this?" She hopes to hear a no answer all the while hedging her expected response with past association, friendship, love, courtesy and a myriad of other possibilities. A better approach might be - "I am not sure this fits very well, do you see a problem with this I don't?" You have opened the door for a discussion and not emotional blackmail. I avoid the true answers by avoiding a direct question - too many psych courses - but as I age and as I blend my life with my husband's I find I have to ask questions and I have to have the answers I need, not the ones I want.
Couple of topics here, Donna. Truth versus what I'd like to hear could be viewed as a layer of this Byte — and in that sense, getting the answers you want is self-delusion.
There is also a much deeper meaning to this Byte. One might even say, cosmic.
(BTW, I always considered "Do I look ____ in this?" as a form of entrapment.)
Remember that an answer can be in the form of a question. But that kind of answer isn't truly an answer even though it may help to questioner to arrive at some truth.
In health care, we are taught to use a question as a less threatening "therapeutic tool" to get patients to move toward some teaching that we feel is beneficial to them. Manipulation, I suspect. Motive is not so bad though if you are trying to facilitate healthier living though the basis is often that we feel we are in a higher state of knowledge imparting wisdom down. I find this not very honoring of the individual. I am going to think about this more.
Karen, the use of questions in interpersonal relationships is a whole other area of importance that deals with questions - which, in the situations you describe, are multi-headed beasts.
I had to think about this one, and then it came to me that just by posing a question, the truth is framed, constricted, or confined to a specific answer. Cool. Glad I ran up on this this morning.
Ok, still think you can get truth with a question--if you ask it in the right way and with the right person. However, upon reflection, some questions are framed in such a way that we edit the content of our answer. Do I look fat in the outfit? Do I look as good as I did before the baby? These types of questions we tend to edit because we don't want to hurt feelings or we know that basis of the question is a need for reassurance. I won't lie but I will look for a tactful solution..."I think such and such outfit would highlight blah or look better with...
Harsh questions tend to put backs up and make someone very nervous...a What are you looking for? Am I in trouble...so answers would reflect that . Certainly not a forum to speak your mind or heart.
That's the best I can do John. I do like your thought bytes. They make you question the obvious.
Some questions are very awkward to answer. "Why do you want to know?" or "What an odd question." work well as responses when we don't want to answer. Personal questions can be intrusive. We need to remember that nowhere is it written that we must answer every question asked of us.
Metaphysically, the universe is chock full of answers, waiting for the right question to happen along. For example, we asked the question, "Was there life on Mars?" We looked through a telescope, saw something that could be a face, and declared there very well could have been, accepting this potential buried ancient sculpture as proof.
But someone asked, "What if it isn't?" That question led to new space vehicles, rovers and other technological wonders that revealed to us that we've been looking at a simple crater all along, nothing more. Asking the second question opened doors to new opportunities (the discovery of waterways) and technological progress.
I have a friend who lost her job. For 6 months, she was dedicated to seeking her truth, discovering her true nature. She sought to unlock her true desires so she could pursue her dreams. She recently found a new job. Within days, she was spouting corporate speak again. For now, the dream is dead. I believe she failed (this time) because despite her words, she did not ask the right question, and has now found comfort in sameness. I hope she gets another chance to ask someday.
I don't know the tune everyone seems to be hu...mmmmmmmmmmg...but I do know that I never liked instructers who open their 'teaching' session with a question to which they would only accept a certain answer from a certain individual, do I not?
Depends on the question. "Will you marry me?" generally garners a true response, while "Do you love me?" allows for hedging. And never ask a question unless you are prepared for any possible response.
Pat S. makes an excellent point. A corollary for lawyers is "never ask a question you don't already know the answer to." Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view) life is more spontaneous than court trials.
John, I'm not in a Gathering mood tonight (caught my someone special (yeah) in bed with someone else) but even under those circumstances cannot pass up one of your bytes. Just may not be around for the next offering.
Stanley, people always formualte the answer - THEY WANT TO HEAR - before they ask the question. I know that much is true.
My mom used to ask my dad (God rest their souls) about colors. Sort of like this: "Should the livingroom paint be red or blue?" - my mom "Red will be fine" - my dad "What do you mean red, we'll paint it blue" - my mom
But, who do you get an answer without asking questions? Questions are essential in life. Like why is there death, famine and devastation in our lives? We need to ask these of ourselves and find the answer from within.
"I ponder as I wonder.." Sorry, people, or shall I say, Gatherites. I butchered the lyrics to a perfectly good song. True Answers are not gotten via the way of questions. True Answers come by way of meditation or even those "ah ha" moments. Those moments when things make sense and you don't know how.
This reminds me of my high school English class. We were told to interpret a famous poem. So I did. I really got into it and did my best. To which the English teacher told me I was wrong. How can interpreting a poem, with everything I got out of it, be wrong. I didn't know that this kind of thing only had one answer. Thanks for the thought byte and hmmmmmmmmm. Peace
Some people have the ability to ask questions that help them probe deeper into themselves or problem. They show they are open to wisdom. Some use questions as defensive and turn the one being asked because they realize they don't want to change. Am I close?
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 142
a) Instead of being posted Wednesday at 12:01 am (9 pm Tues my time), Bytes will be posted some time during Wednesday.
b) I am reposting the early Bytes (which few saw and which were published as images not articles.)
For a while, every Wednesday will be one new Byte and one older Byte until we get them all in article format on Thought~Bytes
Thus, today I am posting No. 107 and No. 1.
If this confuses you, read No. 107. That might confuse you even more. :)
It's right next door.
(We could offer politicians free stays as a marketing gimmick).
The best Bytes are those that need to be chewed a long time before being digested.
I have you a cup of coffee ready at the cafe.
Truth versus what I'd like to hear could be viewed as a layer of this Byte — and in that sense, getting the answers you want is self-delusion.
There is also a much deeper meaning to this Byte. One might even say, cosmic.
(BTW, I always considered "Do I look ____ in this?" as a form of entrapment.)
The second Byte of the day usually requires considerably more chewing.
(What is this? A Hmmmm happening?)
Regardless of where you end up the process of pondering has its own rewards.
and ...
there's so much more.
Or it may mean something else altogether. :-)
Hmmmmm (might as well join them)
Forget about this and let you subconscious play with it and give you a wake up call when it's ready (pun intended).
There is no "answer" to life's question — and you can dissolve the question.
When you do there's no need to leave.
And there's more to this Byte as well.
Blessings
chao
These types of questions we tend to edit because we don't want to hurt feelings or we know that basis of the question is a need for reassurance. I won't lie but I will look for a tactful solution..."I think such and such outfit would highlight blah or look better with...
Harsh questions tend to put backs up and make someone very nervous...a What are you looking for? Am I in trouble...so answers would reflect that . Certainly not a forum to speak your mind or heart.
That's the best I can do John. I do like your thought bytes. They make you question the obvious.
Just saying ...
I agree, Sarah.
Let's not answer that question and enjoy both. :)
"?" is appropriate. This is one of the slipperier concepts about the path to enlightenment.
There are future Bytes on this topic. Eventually we'll surround the sucker.
In this context, for further pondering, you might consider the assumption that there is a truth to get.
Personal questions can be intrusive. We need to remember that nowhere is it written that we must answer every question asked of us.
And, of course, there's more to this Byte as well.
But someone asked, "What if it isn't?" That question led to new space vehicles, rovers and other technological wonders that revealed to us that we've been looking at a simple crater all along, nothing more. Asking the second question opened doors to new opportunities (the discovery of waterways) and technological progress.
I have a friend who lost her job. For 6 months, she was dedicated to seeking her truth, discovering her true nature. She sought to unlock her true desires so she could pursue her dreams. She recently found a new job. Within days, she was spouting corporate speak again. For now, the dream is dead. I believe she failed (this time) because despite her words, she did not ask the right question, and has now found comfort in sameness. I hope she gets another chance to ask someday.
Only accepting a certain answer is the mark of a closed mind.
At another level, answering questions just begat other questions until you realize there's another approach.
(I'd normally put a question mark at the end of that, but then you'd say ... )
And there's more...
As I commented above:
"This is one of the slipperier concepts about the path to enlightenment.
There are future Bytes on this topic. Eventually we'll surround the sucker."
BTW: Like the artwork on this one.
My mom used to ask my dad (God rest their souls) about colors. Sort of like this:
"Should the livingroom paint be red or blue?" - my mom
"Red will be fine" - my dad
"What do you mean red, we'll paint it blue" - my mom
and so on and so forth.
I like that. Thanks.
Best of luck.
I'll ponder that wonder.
Questions are essential in life. Like why is there death, famine and devastation in our lives? We need to ask these of ourselves and find the answer from within.