This is the way my family is! We love tv... At least I used to until I found the internet.. Now, I spend my time on the computer more hours in the day.. I must write, it's in my blood. But, I guess that disconnecting is just envitable in every relationship. Wonderful cartoon, and funny statement! It's funny because of how true it is.
relationship is a very over-used and sometimes misunderstood word these days.... I could have a 'relationship' with a television repairman........he repairs my tv and I pay him....a relationship based solely on my need for him to fix the tv which I cannot do and his need for funds to care for himself and his family......it doesn't have to be anthing more than that as is implied by the way people use the word these days... that's why the cops still use the question "what is your relationship to the........" could be victim, suspect, witness....... relationship.....theirs seems to be 2 chairs passing on the high rug, lost in the living room light I give your 'article' a ten....and a wish for a good night
This relationship represents lots of situations people are living now cause of the technology...nowadays not only TVs but internet and computers... the relationships might be effected for sure...yet it is up to the family to bond themselves no matter how...cause i believe a family is weapon..an important weapon for the outside environment... thanks for sharing that John.. :)
We all have examples of people we know who live like this in not just marriage but other relationships. But to get the point is to assk if we are in that picture?
This isn't quite the way it looks in our house, but similar. I don't have a TV in the same room. So when he is into his sports, I have a book or laptop or DS to occupy me so that I can sit with him. Nice thought for today.
Shannon, thank you for asking. John is fine. Philipp is my last name.
Though — when I was in France everyone called me Jean-Philippe, which I thought made me incredibly cool. Turns out it didn't, at least the 'incredibly part.'
LaRue, I think that's a different situation. That is spending time doing each other's thing. This has more to do with how one feels about himself rather than the other person.
My hubby and I have computer tables/desks that put us within touch of each other but we are separated by space. We watch the same tv sometimes and sometimes I go to the bedroom and watch something he doesn't want to see but the realtionship remains as the binding tie and I love that. Two rooms away and we are still connected - he peeps in on me sometimes to see if I have drifted off and sometimes when he is not in the bedroom by 11, I go to the living room to see if he is on the computer or snoozing in his chair.
Understood, Jennifer. The issue is not doing independent things, the question is why the person is doing that — which is not an issue in the example you give.
Hmmm, you know what I mean, I hope. Time for my coffee then I'll reread this. :)
I teach fiction and I know we turn to myth for structure and to make meaning of our lives. Television is the simplist way of experiencing modern and ancient myth.
When it is done right as in programs like Firefly, Smallville. Jericho and Battlestar Galactica, it can be enriching. The problem is when we spend too much time in front of the television.
Did they both opt for this arrangement or did one succumb to it because the other is comfortable with it this way? The next step will be that one will disappear before the other realizes.
I have found our family in this situation many times. My son complained that we don't spend enough "family time" together (the teenager, mind you). My husband replied to him that we do when we watch TV - we are in the same room (that is his step-father). After looking at the dissapointment on my son's face, my husband quickly changed his tone and asked if he wanted to go outside and shoot some hoops together. As corny as it may sound, I actually fell more in love with husband at that moment.
John, I came back to see what you would say to my comment. I see two people who have chosen this way to express a part of their relationship. They may be 'apart', but they are together being apart. And maybe that's what makes them happy. That was my point in saying what I did about the definition of relationship. thanks for posting this....and thanks for answering each commenter.
Of course, as usual, this Byte is only about relationships at one level. The other level has to do with the individual and acceptance of one's being rather than structuring one's time in a relationship ( which doesn't mean there's anything wrong in spending time in a relationship — only when it is an excuse for not spending time with yourself.)
The thought bite is true in some cases, but I'm sure you'd agree that relationships don't have to be like that - in some cases the relationship enriches the being. I'll just go and check whether this comment is OK with my wife. Now which room is she in? Doh, she says not to disturb her, she's watching her favourite Soap.
Two, maybe three...or more ..things. ( I came back, by the way) First, did you read my short article a few days ago about not having drank anything electronic? You might find it humorous. Second: about levels: when I am looking at a set of stairs, or even a short set of steps, I tend to see all of them at the same time. I may have to comtemplate each as I step, but I see the whole first of all. I hear people say, "I'm in a relationship"....meaning they have 'found' someone as opposed to having another KIND of relationship, ie: with the guy who repairs the tv., the mailman, the beat cop, the person in the next cubicle. We have more than one kind of relationship unless we live with one person and never see, talk to, hear, etc. another human. Or maybe we don't even live with another human, just talk over the phone, or computer, etc. Perhaps our only relationships are with strangers. This then, is a more complete examination of one of the many 'levels' of the word relationship. Third: Some people, many, in this country especially, want to define the relationships of others, the mailman, neighbor,person in the next cubicle, etc. with their family members as 'wrong' or 'weird' when it is none of their business. Perhaps this is a brother and his sister, neither of whom ever found another with whom to have an 'intimate relationship', and as siblings set in their ways, don't want to argue as they did when little kids. Just going to all levels here on the word, relationships......well, maybe not ALL... but you have said these posts are to make us think. So, I hope I'm not too far out in the Twilight Zone....I did watch that show when much younger than I am now. And I'm not drinking anything electronic this afternoon.
To make you think is the goal and you certainly have done that, Shirley.
The other way to look at Bytes is to think, "What is there in that that has meaning for me?"
I don't connect with a lot of articles because I haven't been working the new gather system very well. Thanks for alerting me and I will read your article.
Thank you, John. I have just today posted a couple of very serious articles I hope a lot of people will read as it could save a life or two. Perhaps you'll get a chance to read them as well. I am not looking for comments in order to earn points, just trying to make a difference.
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Thanks.
Now, I spend my time on the computer more hours in the day..
I must write, it's in my blood.
But, I guess that disconnecting is just envitable in every relationship.
Wonderful cartoon, and funny statement! It's funny because of how true it is.
I could have a 'relationship' with a television repairman........he repairs my tv and I pay him....a relationship based solely on my need for him to fix the tv which I cannot do and his need for funds to care for himself and his family......it doesn't have to be anthing more than that as is implied by the way people use the word these days...
that's why the cops still use the question "what is your relationship to the........" could be victim, suspect, witness.......
relationship.....theirs seems to be 2 chairs passing on the high rug, lost in the living room light
I give your 'article' a ten....and a wish for a good night
the relationships might be effected for sure...yet it is up to the family to bond themselves no matter how...cause i believe a family is weapon..an important weapon for the outside environment... thanks for sharing that John.. :)
Tthink about it!
10 4 u
That has to be a sign of something in our society, Jan.
That is certainly true and a good point, Shirley. Thanks.
Here, one thing I see is two people choosing not to embrace a relationship that is available.
Excellent point and definitely one facet of this Byte.
Though — when I was in France everyone called me Jean-Philippe, which I thought made me incredibly cool. Turns out it didn't, at least the 'incredibly part.'
Actually, that would be the point. They could very well be watching the same channel.
Sometimes he would miss my point, but I liked his drawing so much I would come up with words to match it.
Unfortunately, Phil passed on last September. There is more about him at:
An article I wrote saying Goodbye to Phil
A Life I'd Jump at
And the final The San Francisco Chronicle article (Tuesday 1/1/08) about their long time cartoonist.
Bidding final farewell to cartoonist Phil Frank
This is so true! It is important to maintain self!
Rest easy
I'd second the mushroom search idea.
Hmmm, you know what I mean, I hope. Time for my coffee then I'll reread this. :)
(I think we should take responsibility for our relationships. God has enough on his platter as it is.)
When it is done right as in programs like Firefly, Smallville. Jericho and Battlestar Galactica, it can be enriching. The problem is when we spend too much time in front of the television.
Six hours a week should be the maximum.
Thanks.
Look at it this way: no pain, no gain.
My guess is the "next step" may have already occurred.
And good for your son, speaking out for his needs.
Thanks.
I see two people who have chosen this way to express a part of their relationship. They may be 'apart', but they are together being apart. And maybe that's what makes them happy. That was my point in saying what I did about the definition of relationship.
thanks for posting this....and thanks for answering each commenter.
Of course, as usual, this Byte is only about relationships at one level. The other level has to do with the individual and acceptance of one's being rather than structuring one's time in a relationship ( which doesn't mean there's anything wrong in spending time in a relationship — only when it is an excuse for not spending time with yourself.)
See the above comment to Shirley about levels. You bring up another, separatism.
And then there's the whole thing about electronics distancing us from ourselves.
Of course a relationship can enrich the being. Being loved helps one take more personal risks and grow therefrom.
Although I notice a backlash of sorts in some families with young children who don't let the kids watch TV or only with DVDs.
First, did you read my short article a few days ago about not having drank anything electronic? You might find it humorous.
Second: about levels: when I am looking at a set of stairs, or even a short set of steps, I tend to see all of them at the same time. I may have to comtemplate each as I step, but I see the whole first of all.
I hear people say, "I'm in a relationship"....meaning they have 'found' someone as opposed to having another KIND of relationship, ie: with the guy who repairs the tv., the mailman, the beat cop, the person in the next cubicle. We have more than one kind of relationship unless we live with one person and never see, talk to, hear, etc. another human. Or maybe we don't even live with another human, just talk over the phone, or computer, etc. Perhaps our only relationships are with strangers.
This then, is a more complete examination of one of the many 'levels' of the word relationship.
Third: Some people, many, in this country especially, want to define the relationships of others, the mailman, neighbor,person in the next cubicle, etc. with their family members as 'wrong' or 'weird' when it is none of their business.
Perhaps this is a brother and his sister, neither of whom ever found another with whom to have an 'intimate relationship', and as siblings set in their ways, don't want to argue as they did when little kids.
Just going to all levels here on the word, relationships......well, maybe not ALL...
but you have said these posts are to make us think. So, I hope I'm not too far out in the Twilight Zone....I did watch that show when much younger than I am now.
And I'm not drinking anything electronic this afternoon.
The other way to look at Bytes is to think, "What is there in that that has meaning for me?"
I don't connect with a lot of articles because I haven't been working the new gather system very well. Thanks for alerting me and I will read your article.
I have just today posted a couple of very serious articles I hope a lot of people will read as it could save a life or two. Perhaps you'll get a chance to read them as well.
I am not looking for comments in order to earn points, just trying to make a difference.