by Kushal Poddar
Member since:
January 19, 2008

Elegies for Chana, beloved

September 10, 2009 07:19 AM EDT (Updated: September 10, 2009 11:42 AM EDT)
views: 452 | rating: 10/10 (26 votes) | comments: 125

 

Elegy

 

Evening comes with homing birds.

The flying wings are slowing down.

Memories want to fill the gaps

at this moment; hunt for pieces

scattered in a room we visit

only after hearing omens,

only after the bad news comes.

 

Memories want to fill the gaps

at this moment, now. Where did

the white flowers come from? Who lit

the incense sticks? How can I

remember a face so dear?

 

Evenings come with this one thing,

an assured night to shiver, hug

a blanket, fall in a stoned sleep.

Chana. She is sleeping. Can you?



© 2009-Copyright reserved Kushal Poddar (reprinting is absolutely prohibited, without permission)


elegy haiku


grief at a window

watching night spreading slowly

just added one star

 

© 2009-Copyright reserved Kushal Poddar (reprinting is absolutely prohibited, without permission)

 



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Comments: 125

Linda T. Sep 10, 2009, 7:30am EDT
Kushal, your haiku describes how I was feeling last night. Earth is a little more lonely but the heavens have gotten a lot brighter. I hope Chana has found the peace she so longed for. She will be greatly missed by many people.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 7:33am EDT
I wish I met her once. Then I have.
You did meet her - more so on here, than you ever would have in real life. On here, we can reveal all of ourselves we want to reveal, without someone shutting us up or passing judgement, before we even had our say. We saw the heart - can't see that so easily face-to-face.

I just wish I had time to know her more. I'm a friend of Mairlyn N., so have heard of others, who have left in the one way we'll never expect, but know will happen. Chana is the first one I met, who left so suddenly and unexpectedly.

I hope she has peace she struggled with in life. I know her family doesn't. Thanks for the words to the vague feeling inside me. It helps to see the negative space - the part missing, I'd never have grapsed without your words.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:09pm EDT
Well said.
Jean, just the teensiest bit odd, F. Sep 10, 2009, 8:05am EDT
Those were beautiful, Kushal... I know our Chana would have approved...
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:15am EDT
Thanks Jean. It means a lot to me.
Erin O'Riordan Sep 10, 2009, 8:11am EDT
Eloquently stated, Kushal. Thank you for sharing your poetic memories of Chana. She used to encourage me, and I will miss her too.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:16am EDT
Thanks Erin. She helped us all.
Nancy Silveria Sep 10, 2009, 8:15am EDT
She would have loved these, how filled with emotion and sincerity your words. HUGS
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:16am EDT
Hugs Nancy
Vinod Sailes Sep 10, 2009, 8:18am EDT
Thanks Kushal for taking it on yourself to express the feelings for the loss of a dear friend who together traversed this far. Really, words fail to express the grief at this tragic loss and the only way we can console ourselves is with the thought of "Fidele" (sceptre learning physique must all consign to three and come to dust"). Since it is appointed for every man to return to his creator, it is only right that the earlier the better. So indeed Chana is lucky to inherit heaven before we found ourselves worthy of it.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:16am EDT
Well said Vinod
Robert - just a simple man - B. Sep 10, 2009, 8:37am EDT
thanks kushal very beautiful. i want to write one so bad.... but i am waiting on the words. Chana's husband took words away when he called me - but the words will be back, just as Chana's spirit is back in all these comments and tributes.

god bless you sir, and friend.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:17am EDT
God bless you brother. Stay in touch.
Robert - just a simple man - B. Sep 10, 2009, 12:56pm EDT
again, I so wanted to call you in person Ku, I didn't want you to wake up to this on an informal, cold computer screen. She was special wasn't she.

And Dawn has been such a blessing with all her words and notes.

God Bless.
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 11:21pm EDT
thank you dear robert
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 8:41am EDT
just added a star...so lovely and well written. chana is reading the two poems now.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:17am EDT
Right now our sky is clear after three/four days. I can see stars.
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 12:02pm EDT
I definitely see stars ;) a rising, shooting star
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 12:02pm EDT
and no I didn't bump my head =D
Robert - just a simple man - B. Sep 10, 2009, 12:57pm EDT
I finished writing "Bedford Springs, My Last Walk With Chana" but this library doesn't allow the photos that accompany the piece. I hope I can find a PC today so I can complete the article and make it available to you all.

Hugs to you Dawn. You know how I feel.
I wish I could magically grab your photos, store them on my computer, and give them back to you to fill them in.

I've never worked on a library computer before, so excuse dumb question, if it is - Can you upload onto your own PhotoBucket account and go from there? It doesn't use any of the library' computer memory, but, then again, you have to have the devise to go from your "uncooperative" computer to the library computer to Photobucket. (Doesn't sound possible, but asking, just in case.)
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 9:05pm EDT
I do robert, indefinitely. get some rest.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:12pm EDT
Robert brace yourself. You need rest and I need you, we need you.
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 11:22pm EDT
yes robert. please get sleep. we do need you. you may not believe it right now but we do.
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 8:42am EDT
I can actually see me hunting for those pieces.
beautiful from drips of heartache~
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:17am EDT
Thanks Purr
Janie E. Sep 10, 2009, 9:03am EDT
Beautifully written, Kushal. God bless.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:18am EDT
It just came.
Thanks for posting to GutterGirls~
Denise C. Sep 10, 2009, 9:08am EDT
WHAT?????? What happened to Chana? I know she wasn't feeling well . . .
Robert - just a simple man - B. Sep 10, 2009, 12:59pm EDT
Please go to my post (top spotlight). Her husband called me with the news yesterday. I visited them just last week.
Nancy * Sep 10, 2009, 9:12am EDT
Beautiful words Kushal..may peace be with her now and forever
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:18am EDT
Amen
JOHN BECK Sep 10, 2009, 9:20am EDT
Both are lovely, Kushal. Thank you.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:18am EDT
Thanks John
Jennifer Lee Sep 10, 2009, 9:22am EDT
Hauntingly beautiful. Her loss is a tragedy.
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 11:22pm EDT
you're so right butterfly.
Ann M. (Site Scryer) Sep 10, 2009, 9:30am EDT
Your first stanza is uncanny, as it describes Chana's writing so well.

"Memories want to fill the gaps/at this moment; hunt for pieces/scattered in a room we visit"

Thank you for posting to The Surreal Circus.
Robert - just a simple man - B. Sep 10, 2009, 12:59pm EDT
Yep, that's classic Chana. Good job Ku.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:13pm EDT
Thanks Ann. Thanks Robert.
Nancy S. Sep 10, 2009, 9:46am EDT
This is a beautiful tribute Kushal.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:13pm EDT
Thanks Nancy.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 10, 2009, 10:01am EDT
A sweet elegy, so bittersweet, so heartfelt... she would undoubtedly love it. Thank you, dear Kushal!

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Sandre M. Sep 10, 2009, 10:13am EDT
Kushal, thank you so much for expressing what so many are feeling. I like to think of her as a new star.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:19am EDT
Me too.
Stirling D. Sep 10, 2009, 10:14am EDT
Your haiku really touched me - summed it all up so well. Thanks for expressing how we are feeling and taking the time to craft such beautiful poetry.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:14pm EDT
We all are touched by her
.* Sandi * Sep 10, 2009, 10:50am EDT
very nice, She will be missed
Barbra L. Sep 10, 2009, 11:05am EDT
grief at a window
watching night spreading slowly
just added one star

Poddar: Your expressions of your friend are lovely. She obviously touched many lives for the better and will long be remembered by her friends.
David W. Sep 10, 2009, 11:05am EDT
You did justice to an elegant soul.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:39am EDT
Thanks
Alison H. Sep 10, 2009, 11:18am EDT
Beautifully expressed, Kushal.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:20am EDT
THanks Alison, always stay in touch.
Sharon P. Sep 10, 2009, 11:26am EDT
I'm so sorry. She did it while I was off line. She was a sweet person.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 11:39am EDT
I am sorry too.
Sharon P. Sep 10, 2009, 11:51am EDT
We will miss her.
Barb (Gather Site Ferret) Carlson Sep 10, 2009, 12:01pm EDT
I liked the haiku very much. Both poems are a touching tribute.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:14pm EDT
Thank you Barb
Ku,
So beautiful, I'm so going to miss her.. may her words stay on Gather forever. No, I don't sleep... I know, just know...she's reading these.

Hugs,
Marilyn
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:18pm EDT
Take your rest now, Marilyn
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 11:23pm EDT
please sleep sweetie
Holly K. Sep 10, 2009, 12:20pm EDT
These were beautiful. I'm sure she would have loved these.
Ruthi C. Sep 10, 2009, 1:32pm EDT
Shivering mid the memories perfectly describes the feelings of the night. Kushal, bot tributes are intense with your feeling of pain. elegy haiku allows Chana to shine, again and again.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:15pm EDT
Ruth, I hope you are okay now.
Holly C. Sep 10, 2009, 1:41pm EDT
Very beautiful. Thank you for honoring our friend with your beautiful thoughts.
Jennifer K. Sep 10, 2009, 1:48pm EDT
Kushal that was a wonderful tribute for Chana. Words escape me right now. This was a big suprise to many. Hugs to all!!!!! Friends of Gather need to stick close together in this time of great sorrow.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:15pm EDT
Hugs
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 11:24pm EDT
***********HUGS*************
Jennifer K. Sep 11, 2009, 10:58am EDT
***************************GROUP HUG**********************
Aman V. Sep 10, 2009, 2:13pm EDT
Kushal, this is a moving, beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul, beloved of all who knew here here. I especially loved the haiku - in three lines, you've surely captured what each one of us at Gather must be feeling today. My condolences to her family, her numerous friends and her pets..... the ones who feel everything and can't express it except through silence.

Thank you for sharing these. I'll be back later to comment on "Steve's Page" - Robert's memorial to Chana - I'm too much in shock, too saddened right now to say anything coherent or meaningful.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:16pm EDT
Aman, we miss her.
Aman V. Sep 11, 2009, 1:46am EDT
You were close, I believe, and so the shock must be so much more personal, Kushal. I sense your anguish is both sharp and dull - dull from the helplessness.

Mine is the same - for reasons I can't mention here, her loss is a great opportunity missed for me, and I fell in my own eyes the moment I heard of her passing . She was trying to reach out to me for solace during the last weeks of her troubled life..and I wasn't able to be there for her. The memory will haunt me forever.

Passing, she taught me something, a painful but valuable lesson of life. She was a truly sweet soul. May she find the peace and joy that she didn't
get in this unfeeling world, in the hereafter....
M C. Sep 10, 2009, 2:46pm EDT
Beautiful and heartfelt tribute.
Heather ~of the Whippets~ M. Sep 10, 2009, 3:54pm EDT
These are a beautiful tribute to Chana. She will be missed.
barb n. Sep 10, 2009, 3:55pm EDT
that was a very beautiful tribute, the words you used seem to say so much, and I am sure that she would love these....watching night, add another star.......beautiful
Peter Joseph Swanson Sep 10, 2009, 3:57pm EDT
nice

very beautifully done !!!
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:16pm EDT
Thanks Peter
Deloris Wright Sep 10, 2009, 4:04pm EDT
Very nice thank you Poddar.
Erica Hidvegi Sep 10, 2009, 4:16pm EDT
Wherever the essence of Chana is now, it is a more wonderful place . . .
JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Sep 10, 2009, 4:16pm EDT
I had no idea that she was so sick. These are beautiful tributes and writes, Kushal.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:17pm EDT
We did not know.
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Sep 10, 2009, 5:14pm EDT
beautiful Tribute!
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:17pm EDT
Thanks Bhawana
You indeed captured her spirit here in your tribute... so like Chana... I hope she is beaming from above and can finally see that she was a bright light here too..... well done, Kushal....
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:18pm EDT
Thanks Ferosh
blaine d. Sep 10, 2009, 6:46pm EDT
beautifully done!
April H. Sep 10, 2009, 8:05pm EDT
What a beautiful tribute
Georgiana S. Sep 10, 2009, 8:21pm EDT
we lost another poet
Dawn K. Sep 10, 2009, 9:06pm EDT
poets never die. they are remembered thru their words
Georgiana S. Sep 10, 2009, 9:23pm EDT
yes. We lost a poet, not the poetry!
Franklin Newman Sep 10, 2009, 9:20pm EDT
Your poems do her memory justice. The grief I can see all around matches the poems very well. If there is any comfort I can grant, simply ask it.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:19pm EDT
Thank you Franklin in a short time you become a close friend.
Jennifer Lee Sep 10, 2009, 10:34pm EDT
Featured in The Poet's Circle.
~Lady Neeetah of California~Obama #44 W. Sep 10, 2009, 10:43pm EDT
Exquisite in its ability to arouse emotions, and graphically take this reader on the journey you shared with Chana.

Thank you, Kushal!
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:55pm EDT
Thanks.
Karen E. Sep 10, 2009, 10:49pm EDT
Healing words, loving words. Yes, Chana will love them.
Kushal Poddar Sep 10, 2009, 10:55pm EDT
Thanks Karen.
Karen E. Sep 10, 2009, 11:06pm EDT
Oh Kushal, what I really wanted to say, I deleted but perhaps I will say it now. Chana did feel quite unwell and went to the doctor to tell them that she was so very, very tired. She left with a diagnosis of fibromyaliga. Safe diagnosis as it requires nothing more of health care. I am very cross that someone so gifted was essentially turned away. Chana knew that something was wrong. Of course I do not know the whole story but I do know that she was seeking help for a profound fatigue. I think, I know that anger is a piece of this work on the grieving journey. I am rambling and will quiet myself now but I wanted to say that Chana went for help. She did.
Aman V. Sep 11, 2009, 3:03am EDT
Oh God. Karen, you've just given me a fresh bout of heartache and guilt.

She was a brave, strong woman of integrity and character, though when I complimented her on the same during the last conversation we had, she humorously passed it off as a glitch in the phone line.... Typically unassuming and self-effacing - and always loving and sensitive to others' feelings.

She never once spoke ill of anyone in the short time that I was granted to know her... that is such a spiritual, beautiful quality. She never ever told me of her health problems, and thus denied me the chance to send her healing. I'm haunted more than ever.
Karen E. Sep 11, 2009, 10:07am EDT
Aman, I feel that as well...haunted more than ever but I think that is what this season of grief is like, a bumpy road that can feel peaceful at one moment, angry at another and then deeply saddened as well. We shall all just have to take this journey and let it do it's work. You have my deep regard.
Kushal Poddar Sep 11, 2009, 11:05am EDT
Oh God.
Paula C. Sep 10, 2009, 11:43pm EDT
I didn't know Chana. I'm wishing that I did. These tributes are beautiful!
Kushal Poddar Sep 11, 2009, 11:05am EDT
Thanks
Barbara H. Sep 10, 2009, 11:49pm EDT
A beautiful Elegy Poddar.

I think the Haiku speaks so much in so few words and strikes the perfect chord felt in all your friend's hearts. You have touched what has touched you so perfectly.
t b. Sep 11, 2009, 1:58am EDT
Interesting I would read this tonight: A few hours ago my brother directed me to the obituary of a man I knew as a child. In it was also the news of his sister's death though it didn't say when she died.

My point is: At the time he died, for a few days out of the blue I was thinking of him AND his sister, who was once my friend. I had thought of them out of the blue, and then more so for a few days, right around the time he died.
Isn't life strange?
Kushal Poddar Sep 11, 2009, 11:08am EDT
It is because it is human life.

beware of the bullet
Kimber F. Sep 11, 2009, 3:16am EDT
I love your haiku, it so perfectly states a simple way of how I feel. It puts into words what I cannot. Thank you so much for giving it a voice. Peace
Kim J. Sep 11, 2009, 3:17am EDT
More beautiful work! Even more fitting, a tribute to someone lost, who seems near and dear to you all. I feel as though I have missed out on knowing this wonderful person.
Mark N. Sep 11, 2009, 5:32am EDT
That was a beautiful tribute Ku, leave it to you to find the perfect words for the not so perfect situation. Masterfully done. Featured here at Grass Roots Writing
with many thanks
Mark
Rachel W. Sep 11, 2009, 9:45am EDT
Both very beautiful, like Chana. What a beautiful soul she had.
Richard B. Sep 11, 2009, 12:44pm EDT
thanks for your thoughts
Marge H. Sep 11, 2009, 6:17pm EDT
A beautiful and touching tribute.

Although, I was not connected to Chana, my heart breaks for all of you who were privileged to call her friend.
roger s. Sep 12, 2009, 12:26am EDT
Very good work poddar, I'm sure she'd be pleased
William Dotani Sep 12, 2009, 10:32am EDT
Your Haiku is a exceptional tribute.
Nancy L. Sep 12, 2009, 11:12am EDT
There is a simple elegance and serenity in your words that befits the occasion.

Well done.
Angela A. Sep 12, 2009, 6:31pm EDT
This is so lovely, I could cry!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
lynn a. Sep 13, 2009, 1:07am EDT
I didn't really know Chana. I recognized her name and read a few posts of hers. But the caring you have expressed is so very touching and affirming of her. Blessings.
Indrani Talukdar Sep 13, 2009, 2:28am EDT
I loved the haiku. Sorry, I've been away too long.