Feeling old and fat at the mall

My wife and I are both over 30 - not by much - but still over 30. This weekend, we went to the mall to take back a few gifts that out well-intentioned friends and family should have known better to buy us in the first place. I'm sure you've all been there.

We were standing in this one clothing store, whose name I will not mention, and waiting for the nice girl with the rainbow bracelet to give us a gift card in exchange for the clothes we were taking back. It's not that I didn't like the shirt I got, but it just did not fit, and they didn't have my size of the same shirt, or really any others like it.

I started looking around and something dawned on me - my wife and I were the oldest, fattest people in the store. We looked around the inventory and didn't see one damn thing we liked. I mean, the jeans were all tattered and yellow looking like they were 10 years old. I've got real 10 year old jeans that look just like that, but apparently young people nowadays want to spend a lot of money to get the same look. They looked like they'd been used to line the bottom of a dog's crate.

We quickly exited the store and felt very out of our element. I guess that means we're getting old now. I already don't like the new music. Yikes!