How To Guarantee No Publisher Will Ever Work With You

OK, so as I mentioned previously I'm launching a new quarterly journal.  It pays 1 cent/word for fiction up to 1500 words, and $15 flat rate for art.   It's not a lot of money, I know, but its typical for a small literary style journal, and hopefully down the road as it takes off we'll be able to icrease the payout.

So I posted notices regarding submissions at a variety of places, including deviantart.com.  Now I've had good results in the past with deviantart and found some amazing talents there.  Unfortunately, I've also found my share of looney toons.

So I got this winner in my mailbox today from ape5hit@(rest of email deleted for obvious reasons):

Found you at devart
  
I have allot of work I think you'll be interested in. I am not going to send you full 300 dpi pieces without your expressed interest. I have done this in the past only to be declined. but the client still has the work for free.your rules are not acceptable for professionals such as myself. I will send you a contract if your interested. Art upon payment is how it goes sorry. Your prices are junior but I am hungry so let me know.

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I deleted the person's name and link to their website, again for obvious reasons.

Where to begin...where to begin...

First, if you want to do business with someone, you probably want to avoid insulting them.  Second, when sending a query to a publisher, it is probably a good idea to demonstrate a basic grasp of the English language.

I don't normally respond to this sort of nonsense, but I'm in a snarky mood today and I felt this one particularly deserved a proper reply.  So this was my response:

Thank you for the insults.  I always appreciate professionals such as yourself who hold themselves to such a high standard, and are willing to let me know that I fail to suit their needs.  

We appreciate your interest in our junior journal.  While we regret that you are hungry, we are not interested in working with you at this time.  

Sincerely, Julie Ann Dawson

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I should feel bad, I guess.  But I don't.