The Ads Obama Should Run

Since reality, logic, and common sense have been tossed to the wind by the Republicans, I think it's time for Obama to realy go for the throat.  He needs to target his ads to things that people REALLY care about...even if they have nothing to do with the election.  So I took it upon myself to write an ad for Obama that focuses on his  policy differences with John McCain regarding World of Warcraft.  Now, neither candidate has actually stated any policy on World of Warcraft, but why let the truth get in the way of a good ad?

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AD:  Change Azeroth Needs

Announcer Voiceover:  (camera pans over the City of Ironforge, showing dwarves hard at work at the Great Forge)  You've worked hard gathering the materials to craft your Chestplate of the Kings.  You've spent thousands of gold and hundreds of hours leveling your blacksmithing for this moment.  But now John McCain wants to take that all away.

Dwarf Warrior:  It's bad enough the Auction House takes such a hefty cut when I sell me ore.  Now McCain wants to impose a 10% tax on my profits?  WHAT PROFITS!  Between the outsourced gold farmers undercutting my prices and the auction house fees, I can barely afford beer as it is. 

Announcer Voiceover: (camera shows a Tauren running up to a plant to pick, only to have a Blood Elf in Tier 6 armor on an epic mount swoop down and pick it first, then stop at laugh).  McCain thinks all players should belong to large raiding guilds, and will change the drop rate of gear to force smaller guilds to join larger ones.

Tauren Shaman:  It's hard to compete with these guys from the Big Guilds as it is.  John McCain says he is going to make sure more dungeon drops are BOE, not BOP, but he also wants to reduce the drop rates for PUGs and guilds with less than 100 members by 70%!  That just means the big guilds will get better gear quicker, while the rest of us have to hope some good stuff trickles down to us on the auction house.

Announcer Voiceover: (group of gnomes dancing in the streets of Stormwind).  But one candidate understands your needs.  Barack Obama will slash Auction House fees for players with less than 5,000 gold by 50%.  He'll lower the cost of epic flying mounts, and make sure those mounts can be used in Wrath of the Lich King.  He'll increase the drop rates for PUGs in order to ensure that casual gamers have a better chance at good gear. 

Gnome Warlock:  I am so tired of being in a group with no plate wearers, only to have every boss drop paladin gear!  Obama will create an algorithm that will assign drops to match up with the type of character classes in the party.  Now THAT is the kind of change we need! 

Announcer Voiceover:  Azeroth can't afford four more years of the same.  Vote Obama in November.  Change Azeroth needs.