by Kushal Poddar
Member since:
January 19, 2008

A Dot Of Blood

March 01, 2009 09:50 PM EST (Updated: March 02, 2009 07:24 AM EST)
views: 377 | rating: 9.5/10 (39 votes) | comments: 58

 

A dot of blood

(To women-IV)

A wooden door with a nasty nail

hiding at the darker side.

A little prick, a dot on her skin

a red tattoo, tiny one.

She puts the finger and blood in mouth;

the taste of salt is so good.

For a moment her eyeball alters shape

to something like a quarter moon.

 

“Trisha, where is my sweet little bud?”

mother is calling, disturbed;

her absence is always frightening.

 

Of course she can’t give answer.

She can not utter a word now-a-days,

after that evil incident.

The girl runs to her mother, jovial

in this shelter a cute thing.

With petals torn at the beginning…

=© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar


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Comments: 58

Nancy Biri Mar 1, 2009, 9:59pm EST
Nice
Georgiana S. Mar 1, 2009, 10:01pm EST
first blush of womanhood?
Stirling D. Mar 1, 2009, 10:08pm EST
As usual, well crafted and interesting. The last two lines are so good (what is about your uncanny ability to deliver those last two lines - it's all there in between the cracks of the poem's architecture.)
Chuck L. Mar 1, 2009, 10:24pm EST
I enjoyed this
David W. Mar 1, 2009, 10:28pm EST
Life changes early and when you least expect it. Good job my friend.
L. H. Mar 1, 2009, 10:39pm EST
I think your poetry is NICE- friendly, good that type.
William Dotani Mar 1, 2009, 10:43pm EST
Very abstract and yet quite a pleasing read. I can think of various scenario that would fit nicely in your poem's theme.
Carol Lloyd Mar 1, 2009, 10:48pm EST
Nice
Alison H. Mar 1, 2009, 10:52pm EST
Am I the only one who sees the evidence of sexual molestation, incest here?
Sandre M. Mar 1, 2009, 11:03pm EST
Beautiful imagery.
Maria Calfa-DePaul Mar 1, 2009, 11:05pm EST
wow, very deep indeed. Great job
Kathryn E. Mar 1, 2009, 11:07pm EST
So, do you write these new every day or are some of these from the past? The reason I ask, dear Kushal, is that one cannot generally just write this up in half an hour, or so. But perhaps you can........

Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Renee (Pres of Baby James Foundation) ~. Mar 1, 2009, 11:34pm EST
Wonderful job
t b. Mar 1, 2009, 11:44pm EST
Gee, I didn't know I would witness a butt sucking when I read here.
Linda T. Mar 2, 2009, 12:54am EST
this poem invites one to ponder on what act caused the silence of this young girl.
Austin Cushing Mar 2, 2009, 1:34am EST
This comment is to let you know that this content has reached at least ten comments, and as such has been removed from Comment Speedway! Congratulations, and check out this week's Help These Articles!
Vinay Benjamin Mar 2, 2009, 3:20am EST
Great writing Poddar -

I could conjure many images up in my mind reading your poem - particularly the opening lines.

Vinay
JOHN BECK Mar 2, 2009, 6:51am EST
"after that evil incidence." I suspect that you meant "incident", Kushal.

t. b. must have had a bad day yesterday.

I suspect we all agree with Linda T. Well written, Kushal.
LaRue B. Mar 2, 2009, 7:26am EST
Interesting view and well done!
ELLEN B. Mar 2, 2009, 7:49am EST
This makes one wonder about all the incidents that make up life Poddar. All part of the day somewhere in the world, our share of sadness. Very good. I have been moving and I miss my time on Gather and reading your work. Only a week of it left I hope.. Ellen B
Jennifer Lee Mar 2, 2009, 8:55am EST
I have the same question as Kathryn, it's a good one. My best writing seems to come when I write quickly. Is your poetry stream of consciousness writing? I enjoyed this as I was fascinated by your poem. Thank you for posting to our group.
Patti M. Mar 2, 2009, 10:16am EST
Interesting piece. It leaves so much up to the reader.
Ann M. (Site Scryer) Mar 2, 2009, 10:24am EST
I agree with Alison. There are menacing undertones that lead me to believe that this girl has been abused.
Ann M. (Site Scryer) Mar 2, 2009, 10:25am EST
Thank you for posting this to The Surreal Circus. Congratulations on your feature.
JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Mar 2, 2009, 10:33am EST
Wow, Poddar. What amazes me is how you can step into the shoes of a young girl with such empathy. Terrific write.
sharp and exquisite!
Sandy C. Mar 2, 2009, 11:20am EST
I think you did a wonderful job.
Kimberly Ripley Mar 2, 2009, 11:32am EST
I, too, sense abuse, but not sure that was your intention. Excellent poem!
Sharon P. Mar 2, 2009, 12:42pm EST
Very good images.
Angela A. Mar 2, 2009, 1:28pm EST
Oh, dear! This one is very dramatic. Love it Poddar.
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Mar 2, 2009, 2:27pm EST
The beautfy of your writing is that you leave everyone mute.Only your work captures everyone's mind.

Each time I find your talent growing...

Cool!
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Mar 2, 2009, 2:28pm EST
Visit the Xpressions Group

 


(women~special week)

featured
WS R. Mar 2, 2009, 2:44pm EST
Excellent. I thought 'vampire', but then that's just me. :-)
brandi West Mar 2, 2009, 3:04pm EST
wow thats deep
theresa s. Mar 2, 2009, 3:10pm EST
thanks for sharing
Sandi S. Mar 2, 2009, 3:38pm EST
Interesting all these different views... She seems like an abused girl to me. So sad. No escape.
mitchell Graham Mar 2, 2009, 4:43pm EST
Nice
JoAnne D. Mar 2, 2009, 4:51pm EST
Women are complicated.
Svetlana Goryacheva Mar 2, 2009, 5:01pm EST
I agree with JustMe - empathy is the word. Bravo, dear Poddar! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Palmer S. Mar 2, 2009, 9:58pm EST
TWIC!
blaine d. Mar 2, 2009, 10:21pm EST
nicely done!
Thank you ,for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Jesus Love You Too!!!!!
Shelbia C. Mar 3, 2009, 4:38am EST
The imagery is great.
Thanks for posting to Writing Reservoir
Chas Andrews Mar 3, 2009, 4:30pm EST
thanks!
Deloris Wright Mar 4, 2009, 12:14am EST
I am not sure what you had in mind with the young girl. But i liked the poem Thank you Poddar.
Shannon H. Mar 4, 2009, 2:03am EST
Sad.
Jim Ross Mar 4, 2009, 2:31pm EST
I hate to be a dunce, Poddar, but I get two stories out of this, mutually independent, both passionate and replete with your fine wordsmithing. The poem reads well. Please bear with me and plumb the depths that I may understand your meaning.
regina k. Mar 4, 2009, 5:27pm EST
just beautiful
Elizabeth H. Mar 5, 2009, 3:17pm EST
Interesting.
Lewis (taking over Gather) K. Mar 6, 2009, 1:52pm EST
Menacing, with dark undertones. Abuse is ever sharper when it goes unseen and untold.
Michelle W. Mar 17, 2009, 1:16pm EDT
Oh the terror is unimaginable! great job

Thanks for posting in Journey Into Poetry !

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