An (unabridged) rendezvous with my Culinary Skill

Tonight I take the opportunity to present before you a very special guest. It is none other than 'Mr. Culinary Skill' (CS), i.e. 'My Culinary Skill'. CS has been the most un-influential part of my psyche. It has been unused for years and , perhaps, will remain dormant for the next 50 years to come.

Let us ask a few questions to CS and know how it feels to be sitting idle among the most hard-working characters of my daily nous.

Ratan: Welcome to the show, CS!

CS: Thanks! It's nice not being used for something one is supposed to be doing. And, it's obnoxious being used for something one is not supposed to be doing. I'm done dying in your freaking brain! Did you hear me? I am rotting in this empty cranium of yours!!!

Ratan: Sorry guests, never mind! It was just a figure of speech.

CS: No you moron, it was an euphemism! And I mean it. I'm one of the most exuberant of skills and you have been a nimcompoop for not having ever used it. You decided to starve, instead!

Ratan: No, I do not starve! Good food from Indian, Italian, Mexican, Thai and Chinese restaurants is around me 17/7. And, I bet, it tastes better than it would have, had you prepared the same for me.

CS: And what about the fortune that 'good food' of yours costs you?! A hefty chunk of your salary. Yes?

Ratan: N...No...No!!!

CS: Don't try to fool me. You sense of sight (SOS) is a very good friend of mine. It tells me everything it sees when you scan through Quicken.

Ratan: W...Wait, CS! I think we are deviating from what we have come here to discuss.

CS: Let me have my say. I have been rotting since childhood and today is my turn. Lemme have my say.

Ratan: Hey...hey...listen!

CS: Never under-estimate this dormant part of your psyche! I'll let everyone know the ill-treatment I've borne. How you have kept ignoring me since childhood! Remeber, how you could not even warm a cup of water for yourself. In college, you shied away from walking to the canteen for breakfast. Had you known cooking you wouldn't have starved.

Ratan: Shut up! I never starved. I often buried myself in ready-to-go meals.

CS: Zip up your lips, Jughead Jones. Today is my day. Let me speak. I've had enough. I shall bear no more insults. You used your CS in the most primitives of ways like washing grapes, cleaning cabbages to be eaten raw, peeling off a banana, heating a bottle of frozen coconut oil over gas-burner and many more.

Ratan: Dear guests, I beg your pardon. Inviting CS to my show has has been a debacle. I'd like to wind up on the note that I'll be back with some no-nonsense stuff soon.

CS [in the background]: Let me speak, you junkie jackass! @#@@%&$%@#@%^&^^#@#$%$#@@$@@#^&$^&*&^^$#!!#