The Second Journey by Joan Anderson: A Review

We all know that most women tend to be caregivers, whether this is by nature or because society thrusts us into those roles, expecting us to take care of children, spouses, friends, and aging parents before we take care of ourselves. But at some point near midlife, when the children are grown and the marriage has fallen into whatever pattern it is going to fall into, something often occurs that makes a woman stop and think about where she is and what she is doing, and realize that it is time to stop and rethink and discover who she truly is and what she wants.

Sometimes, at that point a woman may be tempted to say, " I am too old to change," or "I just can't afford to do anything differently," or, very often, "I'm too busy to even think about change.'

The Second Journey is about doing away with those excuses and taking the time to do what is necessary to truly live the second half of your life, in a way that lets you discover and validate who you truly are.

Joan Anderson does this through sharing her true experiences. As the author of a very successful book, A Year by the Sea, and a leader of retreats and workshops for women, Joan found herself so busy that she was in grave danger of forgetting to apply the life lessons she shares with others to her own life. Between book tours, taking care of her mother, speaking engagements, her marriage, children, and grandchildren, and the expectations of her devoted friends, Joan began to drown in the tide of rapid changes, and it was only the intervention of her friends and a few health scares that forced her to stop and once again step out of her routine and discover herself and reaffirm her goals.

I have not read A Year by the Sea or any of Ms. Anderson's other books,  An Unfinished Marriage, A Walk on the Beach, or A Weekend to Change Your Life. I believe that it would be very helpful to read at least A Year By the Sea before reading The Second Journey, as many times references are made to events that occurred in that book. Ms. Anderson also refers very often to the work of Joan Erickson, and I am totally unfamiliar with Ms. Erickson. I could have used some framework; a little background as to who she is within the context of the book.

In addition, I had a little trouble with a few other things about the book. For instance, all of Ms. Anderson's support group of friends who really inspire her seem to be women. She turns to her women friends for support and guidance much more often, it seemed to me, than she did to her husband of over forty years, and I found that a bit odd because after all that time I would expect that he would know her best, and even though I wouldn't expect her to turn to him exclusively, I was surprised at how little imput he seemed to have on her life, compared to that of even near-strangers. That is not to say hers is not a valid course of action, but I certainly had difficulty relating. And after talking to many of my female friends and acquaintances, I found that in my circle at least, that degree of female bonding was not the norm.

That being said, I still found the book to be very thought-provoking, sometimes profoundly moving, and overall, inspirational. The average woman, such as myself, may not have the means to take off for an extended stay on a magical island like Ione, as Ms. Anderson does, but we can find ways to challenge ourselves and take time to commune with ourselves and redefine our goals and rediscover who we are, so that the life we are living, no matter our age, is our life and not a counterfeit that was never what we were intended to do or to be.

I was strongly reminded of my earlier years when I was trying to be someone other people wanted me to be: the daughter my mother envisioned, the neighbor my community expected, the young wife I thought I should be, the mother I thought the world and my children required me to be.  It took me nearly the entire first half of my life to peel all that way, and just be me, as authentically and for as much of the time as I can manage. And that is the message of this book: take the time to spend time with and to challenge yourself so you can discover who you are and choose the journey you want to take, and then have the courage to try to follow that journey, no matter who or what tries to lead you astray.

As an added benefit, each chapter of the book is introduced by a quote, many of which I found to perfectly sum up the point Ms. Anderson was conveying in that chapter.

The Second Journey is a book well worth-reading, but I do recommend reading A Year By the Sea and, ideally, An Unfinished Marriage and A Walk on the Beach first.