"The Second Journey" by Joan Anderson

This book takes place ten years after the events that Joan Anderson wrote about in her book "A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman". A decade has passed and Joan's friends, husband, and doctor point out that she has gotten off track and is not following her own advice. This book chronicles an eight month period in which Joan reflects on the current state of her life and finds her equilibrium again.

Life is a progression and the "second journey" refers to the middle years of our life. The first journey comprises those years where we perform the roles that are expected of us, primarily the roles of a wife and/or mother where our focus is on taking care of others. The third journey covers our years of old age and the end of our lives. And the second journey is those in between years, when we can discover who we are beyond the roles that we play. The second journey often begins when unexpected change is thrust upon us and stops us in our tracks. We find ourselves at a crossroads and we feel restless and have no idea of which path to follow. We only know that we need a change. We question who we are, what really matters, and what we are meant to do now.

We all fill many roles - wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee. We get pulled in so many directions fulfilling these roles, rushing to care for others and do all the tasks on our lists, that we get stretched too thin and the life gets sucked out of us. Finding balance is much easier said than done, however. I really related to the section in Joan's book where she reflected on her responsibilities to her widowed elderly mother. After my father died I often felt guilty for resenting the lack of freedom I had as a result of being on call for my mother. My weekends were often spent running errands for her or taking her out to eat and providing her with entertainment. I had precious little time for myself and often had to postpone or cancel my own plans due to her failing health. Parents can make you feel guilty like nobody else can, but hard as it was, I had to put my foot down at times and put myself first so I could recharge my batteries and keep the added stress under control. After all, there's a reason why flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. 

Just as nature and storms are constantly changing the landscape, life is always being reconfigured as well. None of us can control the way life passes, but we need to adapt to the changes that life brings our way. We never reach a point where we have no responsibilities towards others, so to make time for ourselves we need to let go of those things in our lives - the people, activities, and responsibilities - that we've outlived or are involved in halfheartedly. By letting go of this clutter we're able to make room for new experiences that have yet to be lived. The clock is ticking, so we need to seize the moment and welcome the new paths and detours that life brings our way during this second journey.