rape of a housemaid

Rape of a housemaid

________

Shadow is touching the tower.

Her way to home is through the park

Butterflied stretches of verdant.

Teasing loneliness taking nap...

Her way back is a length without

Any of the daily clatters.

So they, the assassins of her

Are not known to her consciousness.

Butterflies fly evenly calm

Over an assault, resting in

An innocent green of South Park.

Sun flows with dark blood till birds sleep.

(Wake up, humanity alive

Within the uterus of life! )

Comments: 22

KC Klein Apr 5, 2008, 8:13am EDT

"the uterus of life"

Nicely done.

Love: Butterflied stretches of verdant.

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Trish T. Apr 5, 2008, 9:42am EDT

wow this was great!

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Heather W. Apr 5, 2008, 12:31pm EDT

Well done

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Cheryl W. Apr 5, 2008, 12:40pm EDT

Wow...powerful imagery. Another gem, Poddar.

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Alison H. Apr 5, 2008, 1:30pm EDT

Powerful poem, strong imagery.

(suggestion: leave off the last two lines)

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Deloris Wright Apr 5, 2008, 1:42pm EDT

good one Thanks

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*Holly *. Apr 5, 2008, 1:42pm EDT

Very nicely done Poddar

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Gregg Rowe Apr 5, 2008, 1:52pm EDT

As opposed to what Alison commented about the last two lines, I have another suggestion...take the last two lines and put them in the beginning of the poem in Italics and then continue the rest of the poem as is. I feel this would not only strengthen the power of the poem, but you are left with not an ambivalent ending, but an image of sadness and food for thought.

Gregg

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constance B. Apr 5, 2008, 1:55pm EDT

Once again Podder Great!

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Carole S. Apr 5, 2008, 8:14pm EDT

You never disappoint.

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Fern Cohen Apr 5, 2008, 10:01pm EDT

wow! dark and stark! powerful!!

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Austin Cushing Apr 6, 2008, 1:21am EDT

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Anya S. Apr 6, 2008, 8:14am EDT

Poddar, you are really a good poet. I always enjoy your work. On this powerful poem, I agree with the comment from Greg about moving the final 2 line to the beginning and italicisizing. I think it would definitely add to the message being portrayed. Another excellent poem!

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Granny Janny H. Apr 6, 2008, 12:25pm EDT

What Anne S. said...Then the reader will not have to ponder as much.

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Krissy spreading my wings hoping to soar W. Apr 6, 2008, 2:21pm EDT

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Gregg Rowe Apr 6, 2008, 3:31pm EDT

Podder

Well, I am truly impressed, It does work at the end of the poem. I like the stanza break you allowed yourself to place in the poem and the italics to direct the reader of a change in voice and shift of the poem. Congrads on the change!

Gregg

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