by carolyn b.
Member since:
November 2, 2006

Discussion: What do you teach your children about friendship?

December 04, 2008 07:43 PM EST
views: 66 | comments: 24

I have a 14 year old daughter and these little girls around here are always keeping drama started but my daughter is never involved, until tonight.  Someone stated she said something that she really didn't say, well I told her don't worry about it, as long as she didn't say it, don't deal with the drama.

She's somewhat like me, I don't have many friends, I have associates and their are people I don't too much care for but I don't diss them.  I always respect them, if I see them someone, I'll speak, hug them, love them and go my way, I never disrespect anyone and I tell her that.  She's like me, she's not a outside person, she likes to be in the house, loves her mp3 player, online and the phone occassionally and loves her space.  She's a very pretty girl with long hair and I'm sure a lot of people are jealous of her for that, I went through that in middle and high school, people not liking you because of how you look. 

I've taught her to speak to everyone regardless of what they've done to her but she doesn't have to be their friend but be nice to everyone.

What have you taught your child/children about friendship?

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Comments: 24

Rita j. Dec 4, 2008, 7:52pm EST
My daughter is 14 also, and she kepts to herself, she's a likeable girl with a few bestfriends and i tell her whenever someone is talking about someone to keep her mouth shut and don't talk about people, becasue people will take whatever you say and change it around.

At that their age it's always some drama, Jealously, and kids will be kids. Some kids don't no better and when you talk to their parents you see why their the way they are.
Larry H. Dec 4, 2008, 7:54pm EST
I didn't have many friends either growing up.
I have always from day 1 told my son that it is never nice to make fun of, or talk bad about anyone! I told him he would not like it if someone did that to him! He is the kind of 13 year old that waits for someone to talk to him first-shy like me-and he has great relationships with his friends! I taught him to be friends with everyone, you can never have too many friends!
carolyn b. Dec 4, 2008, 8:06pm EST
I agree with you Rita, at that age it's always drama and I've told her to not talk about people as well.

Thank you Larry and Sheli for your comments
Danielle P. Dec 4, 2008, 8:08pm EST
I'm a bit of a loner too but I do like my time with my friends. My daughter is a lot like me, we need alone time but also we need to connect with friends.
I do teach my kids about being a good friend.
Rita j. Dec 4, 2008, 8:15pm EST
Carolyn, even when we get older, sad to say by it's more drama, lol but you know how to handle it better. I use to have lot of friends, but I have distant my save from alot of people.
My daughter have friends but choose to be by herself she talks to her friend on the phone, they invite her places, but she doesn't want to go. I want her to be my social, but then she tells my why she doesn't want to go. I understand her friends because are getting into things she not into. So i don't push her nomore
Rita j. Dec 4, 2008, 8:16pm EST
I understand her because her friends are into things she not into
Kelly Kay Dec 4, 2008, 8:18pm EST
Teenage girls have the most pressure, I think. Competing for attention from boys and trying to be popular, smart and pretty. Girls can be so catty and turn on a dime and hurt their girlfriends. it is a hard age.
My oldest daughter was and is so shy that she got walked on in high school.
Rita j. Dec 4, 2008, 8:21pm EST
My daughter is shy until you get her talking and oh boy.lol she a good kid and friend and I hope she stays shy around the boys.lol
Ellen Thatcher P. Dec 4, 2008, 8:22pm EST
I have a 15 year, and I think school is alot worse now than when I went....always something going on with her....I have tryed to teach her to treat people the way she wants to be treated....but their are some girls at school that are just evil....My daughter and I are really close and she talks to me about the girls that are always picking on her...And I agree so much drama going on all the time....I wonder how they study or go to class....
Elaine S. Dec 4, 2008, 8:27pm EST
My Grandaughter,the one I am raising.I tell her to never talk about anyone that is not present to defend themselves.
I think gossip is no ones friend and it hurts many.
Drama is not for me.
carolyn b. Dec 4, 2008, 8:42pm EST
Danielle I like my time with my friends too and I like my space as well.

Yes, Rita adults are just as bad sometimes.

Ellen, school is a lot worse when I went too, peer pressure is really bad but I'm glad my daughter knows who she is, she doesn't try to please anyone.
j - Frugal Mom - r. Dec 4, 2008, 11:00pm EST
Fortunately we don't have to deal with that kind of drama yet:) This age can be rough Carolyn, and I sure remember too well. It sounds to me like you have done a great job already, and I have the feeling that your daughter will do well because of it.
j - Frugal Mom - r. Dec 4, 2008, 11:01pm EST
I think the best we can do as parents is to teach our children to be proud of who they are, peer pressure is one of the worst things about school.
Marianne R. Dec 5, 2008, 7:45am EST
I don't have any kids.
Valerie Roars Dec 5, 2008, 11:27am EST
girls can be brutal at that age :( Hugs to your daughter - she's fortunate to have a good mom :)
The Red Headed Witch of Gather G. Dec 5, 2008, 12:22pm EST
Carolyn - it sounds like you have taught her well. You are really sweet.
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Dec 6, 2008, 1:46pm EST
I have taught my daughter not to be so bossy. She likes to be the one in charge. even if she doesn't have a clue. Than she argues. But she has ADHD and ODD. So it is a challenge for her.

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Debra H. Dec 7, 2008, 8:29pm EST
My kids are all grown up but your advice is very good.
Amy H. Dec 10, 2008, 10:00pm EST
Smileycons!Smileycons!Friends are the best
Sherrie H. Dec 11, 2008, 10:42am EST
I think what you told her is just right. You're a great mom... this is a rough age, and I think you just have to get through it. (Both of you. It's rough on Mom's too.)
Curt L. Dec 11, 2008, 3:44pm EST
I agree with Sherrie, Carolyn, you are a super mom and you are guiding your daughter down the correct path of respect and friendship! Bravo for you!
Beth - Doing God's work Daily J. Dec 15, 2008, 8:30pm EST
I didn't have many friends either
Kimber L. Dec 18, 2008, 11:57am EST
I have told her to treat others as she wants to be treated and if people are crappy she doens't have to like them but she does have to be courteous. I describe it to her that by being nice it will just make them feel worse for being jerks, whereas if sshe was a jerk back than they would feel justified.

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