Eclectic Table

Last night we celebrated the birthday of a dear family friend at our home. Even though she is not related to us in any way, all of my kids have grown up calling her "Auntie." Two of them have never known life without her. She doesn't have much family of her own so we've taken her under our wings and become her family. As we were celebrating over a simple meal of pasta with pesto, salad and bread, I looked around the table and was made aware of the family we've grown over the years.

In addition to Auntie, there is a daughter who really isn't a daughter at all. She came to our family several years ago as the sister of my oldest son's now ex-wife. They didn't have a lot of family either so we became theirs. The ex-wife left the brood in anger, but her sister stuck around, and to this day shares all big events, holidays, birthdays and even the not-so-good things families share with all of us. She has a boyfriend, so he has come along as well for the past two years.

A former boyfriend of my oldest daughter and his fiance have been around for quite some time, too. We loved him to pieces and when my daughter unceremoniously dumped him about 8 years ago we managed to stay in touch. We hosted his brother and their dad on the last Father's Day their dad was alive and took some wonderful pictures of the three of them. He and his fiance, whom we've grown to love, come for family celebrations, too. He and our daughter have even learned to be nice to one another!

Our daughter's live-in boyfriend and the father of their child has been with us for a couple of years now. And I smiled as he got up to refill his plate for the third time last night. The first few visits he made to our home made him nearly distraught, as his family didn't do much visiting or entertaining. My daughter said he was so overwhelmed by our large crazy crowd that he went home and got sick! Now he fits right in....helping himself and helping my middle son clean the kitchen after dinner.

The widow and son of our dear friend who took his life in May actually joined us last night, too. Auntie ran her husband's office and for years he would come to her birthday, accompanied by his little boy. We issued the invitation but didn't think they'd come. They've had an incredibly difficult time dealing with this horrible loss, as well as its nature.  A few minutes before dinner they arrived. Our entire family kicked in, doing everything possible to make them feel welcome. I think it worked, too. By the time dinner was over, they were both laughing and joking with the rest of the gang, and while presents and cards were being shared (lots of jokes about getting older!) the little boy adjourned to the basement with our younger son and played guitars for a couple of hours.

It was a successful party, filled with lots of laughter, good food, and some very poignant moments. Our friend gave Auntie a CD of her late husband singing and playing the guitar. We reminisced about birthdays when the kids were toddlers, and now we have two new toddlers racing around the house. At the end of the evening I was exhausted, but it was a very good kind of exhaustion. As I recalled the gang of 14 around the table, I was taken aback by the differences between us all, but the love that we have all learned to shared. And I was filled with an incredible sense of gratitude.

When I went to bed last night, I felt extremely blessed.