Nobel Prize-winning Olympic-swimming billionaire astronaut that invented Sticky Notes here

Yep. That's what the placard on my desk says, and the desk itself costs more than the GDP of Zimbabwe. And you can believe that because it's all in my profile.

Yea, right.

It seems that the more the Electronic Age (not to be confused with the Soldering Metal to Plastic for No Good Reason Age) permeates our lives, the more we are struggling with privacy and identity. Gone are the days when one could step off a ship and proclaim, "I am Beowulf, from Geatland. I have come here to slay your Grendel." Everyone believed he was Beowulf out of respect, fear, and the fact he had a ship of guys vouching for him.

Today, we would need more proof besides Beowulf proclaiming he is who he says he is. Just because he may have 4000 friends on Myspace (or 400 on Facebook), and everyone leaves him comments and he's on every band's page (hey, he could be into Celtic Metal), does that mean we need to believe it's really him? We would need to run background checks, credit card ratings; the works.

And that's where the problem stems from: identity. When the world was smaller we took other people's word for anything, occasionally getting gulled-over by cons. Now, someone can be a million miles away and claim that they are you and you can't do anything except sit back and take it. And if it's personal, it's only worse.

Which brings me to the point: how are we "constructing" our Net identities? (and hence the title) I've been on the Internet since 1996 (the days before Flash and Java) when the conversion from BBS's to webpages was occurring. There were people at that time who would be online pretending to be what they're not, but that was a "myth" which became a stereotype once AOL flooded the World Wide Web with people and it's been gaining more and more cyber-identities ever since.

But again, how do we construct our identities? How do other people perceive us when we are online? Do we believe what others say in their "factoid" rundowns on the sides of their Facebook or MySpace pages? I'm reminded of a friend of mine. He created a radio personality called T-Mac, which was on the air what he couldn't be in person; he enjoyed it. On my end I tried making Chas out to be a cooler version of me, who is trounced by insecurity and anxiety. Unfortunately, that plan didn't pan out as well as I had hoped (I forgot my penchant for blowing holes in my own boat).

Either way, I'm just being myself while I'm on the Internet. Yeah, I'll fiddle with whatever stories I tell (they're stories, people) but generally speaking, this is me. But a new generation is going to the computers, one that thrives on "hip," "cool," "trendy," and "happy," and my sordid nature may not be going the direction the wind is blowing. Also, there is the case of privacy about what people should know and shouldn't know; the paranoia.

Paranoia doesn't help because I'm already paranoid enough. Yes, I know how cookies work. Yes, I know that I'm giving my grocery list information to a company curtailing their products to what the masses purchase. Yes, I know that I may be too "trusting" with others on the Internet. I may kick myself for saying this, but I don't imagine being detained in Gitmo over the fact that I enjoyed, "Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger."

If there's anything to ascertain from reading this piece, if I can tell you anything that will impress upon you what I am trying to convey, it is this: the Western World (United States) is Corporate. Act accordingly.

New, improved, and with 30% more

-Chas