Draconian Methods to Saving Us All

When Barack Obama woke up the day following his win over Mr. Fuddy Duddy and Nancy Drew, he found that not everything was to his liking. For one thing, the nation was broke. George Bush and Co. emptied the treasury, looted the bank and raped Justice.

That was just for beginners. What followed this revelation was the fact that all their buds on Wall Street cried in their beers, begged for mercy, and got an extended loan from China via the good old U.S.A.

Only now we learn, the banks think it's back to business as usual. Of course, there are detractors to that notion, but the detractors are themselves members of the old boy's school, and would never, ever turn on their own and announce this was a disaster.

However, as a research analyst, with years and years of overturning molding rocks to hunt out still viable slugs, I can tell you it ain't nothing yet. None of the programs that can save our collective asses will work unless we've money to pay for it.

Solution. Let's redress Justice and jail George Bush, Dick Cheney, Condi Rice, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and Rove, charge them with treason, and then confiscate all their worldly assets.

That alone would send a message to every C.E.O in the country. Boys, you ain't getting' away from this! After them, we could hit bank presidents, and stock managers, and along with their bosom pal, our current Secretary of the Treasury, Paully baby, they can be charged with malfeasance of office and embezzlement.

If found guilty, thirty years for the first, twenty years for the latter, no parole for each. Seems a dream come true.

Still, after that's accomplished, what do you do with the corrupted members of Congress? They're successfully hidden in numbers. The best thing to do at this point is to have them declared enemy combatants, put them in pajamas and send them to Guantanamo Bay. Ten years for this group.

Now that Justice is redressed, and she gave us a wink from under her blindfold (I never did think she was blind), what to do about the mess of two wars, hundreds of thousands of lives lost, over ten thousand of our precious men and women in uniform thrown away, and still a runaway government that doesn't know what to do.

I have an idea. We get out of Iraq. We gave them what they needed most. Change. Now let 'em live with it, we sure don't want to. Then get out of Afghanistan and Pakistan. Hunting down international criminals is not our job. That's Interpol's job. Let 'em at it.

Third, as this certainly is part of our foreign policy, as well, retool all our manufacturing plants, care of all those who earned the multibillion-dollar profits during the Bush era. They can afford it. Adopt clean energy systems. Tell 'em to work at it as if their freedom was at stake. As it certainly should be...Guantanamo notwithstanding.

Immediately introduce stem cell treatments to every clinic, every hospital and every HMO, which would be a knockout punch to the enriched pharmaceutical industry that caters to disease like a lover.

Legalize narcotics. The job of government is to serve, not proselytize. There are those who want to harm themselves, live their own lifestyles, and not have to answer to bureaucrats or clerks, appointed by religious oligarchs.

Once that's done, the crime cartels and terrorist factions will see their treasure chests dry up and blow away...and then you can deal with the overblown budgets of agencies which should not have existed in the first place.

Homeland Security should be abolished. Run by inepts, and directed by an inept. Instead, it is the F.B.I., the C.I.A., and the oversight committee built of the N.S.A who needs to revamp their shared interest policies and stop the idiotic bickering that led to this jackassed new agency to begin with!

I figure it would save us - all told - three hundred billion dollars a year. Hmm. Think that would generate enough cash for an expanded unemployment insurance coverage, increased medical health care, and streamlined government? Yeah, I think so too.

Now all you have to do, dear readers, is to send some form of threatening letter to your representative, and demand he or she submit to your needs and not bloody well theirs!

Of course, these a just a few items to deal with, but given the opportunity, and the desperation, the truth of it will wax like a fine candle. Then, we can just forget all this, and decide to hide our heads in the sand. I'm not too keen on that. I never liked beaches that much.