Please join me right here for a discussion on Man/Women Hunting tomorrow. Even if you are married, we could really use your insight and thoughts!
We will be talking about things like:
*What do you want in a partner? Has this changed over time?
*Do you believe in the idea of a "soul mate"? or Prince/Princess Charming?
*Are you already involved? Where/how did you meet?
*Still single? What avenues have you tried?
*Reality shows…..What do you think? Would you try one? Do you believe that one could find lasting love with them?
*Online dating sites……any experience?
*Do you still have hope? Have you given up? Have you changed your standards?
*What would you be willing to do to? How much would you willing to change about yourself? Do you think that changing something , like maybe your hair color, to fit what someone likes is playing fair?
*What sage advice do you have or have you heard? Do you believe it?
*If you are divorced….what have you learned? Has what you were looking for then, changed because of it?
*Do you have "rules"? (ie. Must never have been married, Must be taller than I am, be the same religion, not have young children, divorce must be final, etc.)
To participate: all you need to do it type your question or comment in the box below. To see other's comments/answers in real time just hit the refresh button on your browser. You will need to continuosly refresh the page to see each new comment.
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Comments: 128
Please do try to come. I know that you are getting married soon, so I am sure that you have a lot of insight!
Please join me with your questions!
CHAT LIVE with Betsy Brown Braun, Author of "Just Tell Me What to Say", February 26th @ 4PM ET (1PM PT)
Hope to see you there!
I'm not sure I'll be much help though. I always told guys on our first date that, "I'm not getting married or having children!"
Funny, Shan was the only one who didn't believe me and now I'm going to be a grandma!
Amanda, I am sorry that you won't make it. It is funny that most of the chats are scheduled during the day. Maybe we need to rethink that...
Bridget, I will get to yours too. I may need a breather for a bit, but I will be there:)
Trish,
That is so interesting! Wow, he must be really special!
I am single and older than dirt, but still very interested in the possibility of romance. I've had the good fortune of knowing real love in my life and would like to have that again.
As one ages it becomes more difficult to find a partner for a variety of reasons, but being older definitely has an upside. If a person has worked at being self-aware he or she is in a better position to know his own needs. An older person often has more patience and empathy... at least that has been my experience.
I will try to make the discussion. It will be interesting.
Doug, how old is dirt really? You can use it again and again, it never really goes out of style! I am glad that you found love once and you are never too old to find it again!
I think that you are right, the older you get the more you know what you want and you also know what is really important in life. What was important at 20 or 30 is seldom the same at 60 and 70.
I will look forward to hear from you!
Stopping in to show you some love, but the Spouse 101 thing is NOT FOR ME
Ooooh No,
Unless Denzel shall be there. . .shall he?
However, you all have a ball!
((((hugs)))) to YOU!
They are all so perfect aren't they, Nancy?
To be honest, I had no idea what I wanted other than I had to be attracted to him. I would date people for a bit and find a lot of what I didn't want!
I am not saying that you can't find love, but would it last? You are in a hyper stressed dream world, competing with others...how much can you really know about a person other than how they handle high stress situations?? (Not that that isn't a good thing)
Like Trish, that was dead set against kids and marriage? She is going to be a grandma now you know!
I think that when the lights go down and the man is in timbuktu and she is in the Ozarks, it becomes a little different!
We already have Bible Study and the grocery store....
They possibly do more harm than good to the younger generation and are just plain entertainment to the rest of us.
You mentioned you met your mate at a grocery store. I think a lot of people would love to meet their live interest this way!
A question for everyone...what initially attracts you to another person in a first meeting. Is it how he or she looks, how he or she treats other people, how he or she dresses, etc?
That is so true.
I was 30 and my husband was 33 when we met- so we were mature enough to know what we were looking for in a spouse- not just someone to date
Think outside the box. Does what you are looking for make sense?? For example, I didn't want to have kids, mine or someone else's. Did it make sense to be looking at other 30 somethings that also fit this? Not really.
Is there really one perfect person out there for us?
What happens if for one reason or another, we lose this person?
I think that there has to be more than one, probably many.
I think that it is really important to be friends first.
What are your hobbies or interests? That can be a great way to meet people. Even if those people aren't single, we all have friends that are!
I live in an area that is really big into ecology and nature. There are a lot of hiking, climbing, walking, etc. groups here.
Hobbies? Hmm...I just try to surround myself with friends. I have hobbies but nothing that will help me meet someone I think. I love working out!
After months of wondering whether or not he was interested...I had enough. I asked him out!
I had heard that about classes too. That is why I would tend to look for something sporty or cause related. Volunteering to do the beach clean ups around here would be something that I would think about.
My only problem with that is if you are new in town...then you have to start at square one.
This has been a great chat! Thanks for all of your participation!
Well I have been married to my one and only dear husband for almost 38 years. I have seen people get married to soon and for the wrong reasons and not work out and I have seen many work great. My advice is this
1. NO ONE EVER FALLS in LOVE you grow in love you learn to have a lot of tolernance and NEVER try to change someone that is not going to ever work.
2. Accept changes. Accept things change for both of you. Your values, your views, you r looks, your body changes. If you cannot or do not accept change your doomed
3. Keep the romance alive, play, laugh, take time to have fun it is not about money you can cook a nice dinner and have candle light, play board games, take a walk, put on some music and dance take a shower or bath togather, read togather.
4. Listen with your mind, heart, body and soul, be attuned to their moods, and face and body expressions. Don't nag but be understanding
5. Have compassion, Never fail to communicate but know the right time to communicate for different things.
6. It is not about marrying a stranger, Anyone who does not marry thier best friend (not girl friend for girl or boy friend for boy unless your so inclined that way) But your best opposite gender friend. Your marrying the wrong person. Anyone who says they cannot marry a friend is looking in the wrong place and for the wrong thing.
7. Its not about the money, its about love, giving, sharing. Remember vows, IN SICKNESS and IN HEALTH, for RICHER OR for POORER, For BETTER or for WORSE. Times, circumstances, life changes things many unexpected, unwelcome, unwanted you work at keeping things togather.
8. Don't clam up, don't give favors, don't hold grudges. These never solve anything
9. Set them free, never think you ever OWN someone, let them be free to grow, explore and develop and have outside relationships with both genders not sexual but just friendships. If they are yours they will stay or come back to you if not they were never yours in the first place.
Meeting someone has to do with interest, what do you like to do, find someone who shares your interests. Same kinds of foods, resturants, sports events, church or other event or interests. Library is a place to meet too or church.
Let family and friends know your looking they might know of a great guy and when you meet someone look beyond the exterior package. So they are bald, too pudgy or to tall or whatever what about personality, interests. Many goldmines are shunned when someone cannot get past the outer apperance. Which is really too bad for everyone. In order to find the treasure you sometimes have to dig down into the dirt that is where you find gold and diamonds and rubies and gems of wonderful things.
Always remember too there are many interesting fun better looking, richer people out there but are they going to really be the best for you. The grass is not greener it only looks like that until you cross the fence and sometimes realize the pasture at home was mighty fine and often to late.
People do NOT always feel in love or love their mate, Sometimes they get upset, mad, angry, Given communication, time and more these feelings abate they pass. Too many times divorce occurs for the wrong reasons. Oh yes there are good valid reasons for such abuse being # 1 priority and adultry second. But most are over silly petty things that in counseling or time would resolve themselves and get a couple back on track. Sex is the least reason someone should be togather this is a fringe benefit and cumulation of everything else. But there are times Sex just is not something you are able to do health, time, stress, age all take their toll but love true love lasts and it is about companionship, friendship and more and sex just adds to and enhances the relationship when you are able to get togather in this realm.