Chat/Discussion....What does "man hunting" mean to you? Tuesday, February 26 at 3PM EST
Women go to some pretty amazing lengths to find the right man these days. There are reality shows, harmony.com, personals, blind dates, matchmakers and more.
What have you or did you try? How far will you go to meet Mr. Right?
Lisa Landholt's book, Good Man Hunting takes every thing that I could think of and goes beyond! In her novel, a plain Jane, or in this case, a plain Sandra Greene, comes across a group called the Hunt Club.
The Hunt Club has the mating game down to a science. For each "hunt" they pick the name of a still single member out of a bowl and go all out to get her the man of her dreams. We are not just talking about the captain of the football team that you still dream about from high school. We are going for the gold here. You can pick any wildly successful and drop dead gorgeous, hopefully single man you see gracing the covers of Business Week, the Society page, what have you.
They study, research, delve into his past, use private investigators, interview friends, and even stalk the chosen beau. They find out his likes , dislikes, what he is attracted to, his past relationships, medical history, you name it. Then they go about transforming the woman into exactly what he is looking for and setting up the perfect meeting. He likes blonds with long hair, you bleach your short hair and get extensions. He loves baseball, you study statistics and learn the game better than anyone. He had a learning disability as a child, so did you!
The Hunt Club's Promise? If you do and say everything that they tell you, you will have your chosen one kneeling at your feet proposing within 5 months. (and trust me, anyone that gets in their way is in big trouble!)
The book was entertaining, but it also got me thinking…..
Our society seems to be going to ever increasing lengths to find "soul mates". Why do we try so hard? How far is too far? Is it important that our "soul mate" not only be attractive to us, but also be the envy of those around us? Is having brains or a great personality not enough anymore? Must our match also be a ten and be extremely successful? Where do you draw the line? Does he have to live up to the fairy tale Prince Charming?
So, with that in mind, join me for a chat on Tuesday, February 26, at 3PM EST. We will be sharing our stories, tips, experiences, impressions of Lisa Landholt's book, Good Man Hunting, and just plain anything about what it means to be single and searhing for the right man/woman!
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Comments: 29
BTW, we're chatting about Survivor if you want to join us!
Amanda, it was a fun read. I actually was giving my BF updates as I read along and he enjoyed it too!
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Have a great gatherday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is funny, isn't it? We are all searching for each other, running into each other, but often don't open our eyes!
I think so many of us are looking for Mr Perfect, but no perfect person exists. And it is sad to see so many men and women try to fit a mold and to go far as to lie to please their future mate.
Tom, you should join the discussion Tuesday. It would be great to get a man's perspective.
That being said, I don't believe there is the perfect person anywhere. I believe that you find someone who finds you interesting and cares for you, that you find interesting too. Someone who makes you laugh and makes it obvious they love you. The rest, well, you work it out together, because if you can laugh together and love together, the rest doesn't seem so insurmountable...
I think that sometimes people get caught up with so many expectations that they are never going to find someone that is their ideal. For example, I don't want children. How likely is it that I was going to find someone that the chemistry was there, the feelings, the sense of humor, intelligence, my age, etc, but also didn't want kids or already have them? I had to think outside the box and change my expectations.
I had all these rules, like a man must have divorce papers, not just be separated from his wife. I wanted it to be a couple of years after a divorce so they didn't bring all this baggage.
He had only been separated from his soon to be X for only eight months. I said no, no, no. He was persistant, it helped that his X had moved out of state. Even then we dated for two years, lived together for four, and have been married for three. It worked, I wouldn't have broke that rule for just anyone. :)
Your grandmother sounds like a wise woman:) Mine always said that you will never find love when you are looking for it. Both of our situations proved her right. I wasn't looking either.
You brought up a good point. When you are a single parent, there are a lot more rules that you make. It makes it all that much harder. I am so glad that you broke some of yours and it worked out!:)
I wish that I had thought of your rule about divorce sometimes. Mine is going through his now and there are times that it is so hard to hold my tongue. I thought that it would be quick, easy and that it will be his problem. Boy was I wrong. It is our problem, but often, I feel like I don't have a leg to stand on to give advice or even just emotional support. We are going on two years now that our lives have been in limbo. It is very stressful!
I usually tell people that I would rather wait in line at the DMV with my wife than sit in box seats at Fenway with anyone else. That, more than anything else, is the secret, I think.
My wife is the smartest, funniest, cleverest, most interesting person I know, by yards. We can crack each other up anywhere, anytime-and everything else-politics, movies, art, literature, sex-is all negotiable.
We aren't perfect, but we started with getting along, being friends, enjoying each other's company, wanting to be nowhere else than with each other-and it hasn't stopped yet.
I have gotten married yet, but I have that with my BF now. My cheeks often hurt because we laugh so much. Let's just hope that we keep it up after we say "I do"!
This is going to be an interesting discussion. I look forward to popping in!
Tomorrow I am driving up to SF to be with my childhood girlfriend Jeanette. She has bought tickets to see "The Curvy Widow" with Cybill Sheperd, a play about a 50-something woman who is stepping back out into the dating world. It's supposed to be a hoot!
Thanks Curt.