Acting Responsibe For Your Actions

Hi Deborah, Thanks for that thought. This seems so logical but is surprisingly difficult to grasp. The funny thing is that one feels so much better by taking responsibility and stopping the whining. People who whine a great deal do not realize this. So perhaps you should point this out to your brothers.

I have no problem telling my loved ones that complaining is negative energy. I just explain to them in the simplest terms of physics that everything is made up of energy and the energy you produce is what hangs around you. So, if you want to change your world, create an energy field you can live with.

Deborah - In the back of the minds they probably know that if they acknowledge responsiblity for their actions, they would have to do something about it.

Whining seems to be easier for them.

The best thing to do is get it off your chest and tell them to start acting responsible. Their actions control their own destiny.

Well said, I have a few whining people in my life. Unlike you, I can't keep silent. Try it, you will feel better by telling them to get a grip.

I have a sister like that- she thinks the world is out to get her, and that all the bad things in her life are because of someone else. Nothing is ever her fault.

I want to say this to them but there are a lot of issues that make me hesitate. Once, I can work up the courage, I will say to them what needs to be said. We grew up in a very dysfunctional family; my Dad was a rager and an alcholic, and Mom was seriously depressed most of the time. Issues, that I have faced in my life and have come to terms with. However, the brothers have not and are alot like their Dad. I have to pick my time of truth carefully or it might turn on me.
thank you all

I agree with this wholeheartedly!!! One of my biggest pet peeves is people who whine about their lives or situations but do NOTHING to change them!!! drives me CRAZY! LOL.

Deborah you will know when the time is right, it is so true that once you face up to a situation it is easier to cope with. There is a saying you can choose your friends but not your family. I am at a time in my life, when I can reflect on the past, and see that when I was troubled and raged against the world it didn't make any difference , but when I faced up to the situation and accepted my own part ,I could look for solutions and there are some, even if you have to compromise.
When you feel in your heart that is the right thing to do it is.
Love to you and a cyber hug comming your way.

Amen, your someone I could love, a listener and not a complainer. Weak minds what others to solve their problems for them and by whining only upsets the air it is released into. Myself I am way to out spoken and would tell them to complaint to someone who gives a ____....Your problem, you solver it, now lets eat...

Problems come in three categories, 1.) Money 2.) Someone screwed you 3.) You screwed someone. Life is not fare---live with it and move on.

Ronald, my thoughts exactly. But, not only that negative thinking brings on negative consequences

Thanks Ness for the understanding of picking the right time to fight this battle

Thanks Kimber L, not that I want to whine about whining, pass the cheese please

Right now, I am just trying to make life a positive experience, maybe I will have to fight that battle soon, pass the wine please

Everything will turn out okay! Trust that it will and move forward! Your heart truly is in the right place and you will know when enough is enough and when to speak. Sometimes though it is kinder to maintain silence and not let others actions affect our moods too! LOL

Deborah~ I have the same problem with my youngest brother right now. His life does appear to be going to hell in a hand basket... but it is all self- inflicted. He just complains, complains, complains and lets everything fall apart around him while he's complaining. It's soooo frustrating. I'd like to help him, but he doesn't think anything is his fault and he doesn't take responsibility for anything. Ahhhhh!!!

It's hard to do this sometimes, but we certainly all need to do it.

Most of the time, I ignore these two, and go about my business. However, I have been working from home. Now, I am an easy target.
Yesterday, I went to the local coffee shop. Once there, I open up my laptop, get my latte and listened some to really good jazz. Far superior to staying at home, met some nice people too! Meeting people is sometimes hard when you work in your home. So, two things are coming out of this problem that are plusses: one) I found someplace I can work that has great coffee,two) and I am meeting a lot nice folks in the process!

Deborah, seems like you are caught in a catch 22 situation. I am wondering if your brothers are coming to you to camplain or for guidance (direction). I don't have the whole picture here but, if your parents is/was as you say, then perhaps there wasn't much guidance given. Odds are you are older then your brothers and they may be looking to YOU for direction.
If a civil conversation can be maintained, you might want to intertain the thought of offering them some ideas, direction, or suggestions. Sometimes people can't see the forest for the trees. You obviously have an opinion or two to share with them. And remember positive thoughts produce positive results and negative thoughts produce negative results. In this instance....opposites do not attract. Good luck........ Later.......Jim

Jim, you are so right. I am the matriach of the family. Sadly my Mom passed away 6 yrs ago. I have been away for 30 years and only been back 1 yr and 5 months. They and my Dad come to me for guidance and whinning. Is the paticular subject that they are whining about that has me stumped. For whatever reason they are acting as if they are the dominiat male dog in the family. The clashes are awfull, which I stay out of the clashes, its the whining they do when they are by themselves with me or anyone.
Yes, an area I suppose I will have to work on, and I thought I was done raising teens. Now, I am raising grown men! Ew, sounds like whining, time to go for a walk. Thanks again Jim, you are brilliant

Brilliant??? Not hardly but, thanks just the same.

no, it was brilliant Jim

i also find it hard to listen to people whine. i try to gently point out their blessings when i can.

Yes shannon I think that is a good approach

I have to say AMEN to that!

thanks Melissa

Everything should be responsible for their actions.

Happy New Year!!

Amen, Deborah. We are all responsible for our own actions.

However, I do believe there is a huge number of people in this world who are suffering from circumstances beyond their control... born into poverty and disease... and I pity them.

I had this conversation once years ago and it really opened my eyes... despite the best some people do life just dumps on them over and over again.

Is it luck? I don't know.

I think Lydia that if one excepts that type of thinking then life will dump on them over and over.
I have had many really bad things happen to me, however I have had some really beautiful and wonderous things happen too! These things that were positive was due to overcoming all odds; thinking positive, creative thinking, problem solving, not excepting no for an answer, taking risks, following your passions, the list goes on. I don't feel sorry for that many people because I believe when you take responsibility for your life, then only good can evolve.

very nice! I try to take responsibility for my actions by praying, not for bad things to never happen to me, but that I will take from those bad things what I am supposed to be learning