Member since:
October 27, 2006

If Ever

October 20, 2008 03:17 PM EDT (Updated: October 21, 2008 10:34 AM EDT)

views: 87 | comments: 39

Imbued in the congestion of experience
Stars shine on brightly within melodies
Moments blend in warm smiles, tearful goodbyes

First day of school, waving back with purgatory
Inside soul's spirit, learning unknown surprise
Cry and sigh for one day of when not why

Each room has decorum once tossed aside
In riveting froths of fashion some pieces hint
Freshness remembered, notating, moods of moments

Various stuffed boxes, pampered bits, saved each trip
The ink is dry but the images sense shifting
Curiosity again opens, that suddenly missed

Etchings mellow, initials drink skies blue
On graceful meadow tree, left without sound
In lost history, parts of neighborhood

Reliable photographs shown erstwhile
In the silence sitting with the shades drawn
Wishing, smiling, wondering, if ever

Tags: poem, life, reflections

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Comments: 39

Barbara B. Oct 20, 2008, 3:21pm EDT

Drive By 10 !! I need to ponder this one William.

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Barbara B. Oct 20, 2008, 3:23pm EDT

What I need is some sleep! I was headed to cribby when
I saw you name, of course I was curious!! Nap time now!!

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Barbara B. Oct 20, 2008, 3:23pm EDT

I'll be back!! I promise!!

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Lisa Frost Oct 20, 2008, 3:24pm EDT

wonderful verse, something to be read again, and considered.

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William Dotani Oct 20, 2008, 3:51pm EDT

I thought about naming this 'Mile A Minute Mixtures.'

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ann c. Oct 20, 2008, 3:51pm EDT

Sometimes you are just "too deep" for me William!!! Gotta think about this one.

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ann c. Oct 20, 2008, 3:53pm EDT

See, I don't even "get" that!!!

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Gerry Wass Oct 20, 2008, 4:02pm EDT

There's a great deal going on here, but I was hooked by "the congestion of experience" and willing to let going of having to follow it all, because in the light of that line, it all seemed appropriate. I also very much liked tying the word "purgatory" to school.

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William Dotani Oct 20, 2008, 4:16pm EDT

Read the first stanza which meshes the last stanza. Everything else is in-between.

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William Dotani Oct 20, 2008, 4:17pm EDT

First days of school are often purgatory for the first day of school at any age.

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William Dotani Oct 20, 2008, 4:19pm EDT

Ah! The joy of nap time!!!!!!

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Marge H. Oct 20, 2008, 5:12pm EDT

I need to come back and reread this too. I like it but it's too deep for me right now.

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Marge H. Oct 20, 2008, 5:14pm EDT

I'm still entertaining a silly mindset. Hard to go from my silliness to your deep insight that quickly. Thanks for dropping in and commenting.

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Dan H. Oct 20, 2008, 5:21pm EDT

Thank You For Posting To:
http://friendsofdanh.gather.com.
Our goal is to help you further your exposure and to support other gather members.

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Lisa J Oct 20, 2008, 6:40pm EDT

Well Bill, Keith kept me up all night not sleeping and is now snoring on his chair.

I saw this as reflecting on ... what is and what could be... If ever... more?

But I'm very tired, so I could be completely dense! Thank you so much for your comments today!

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Magi the magical poet is riding the wind again Oct 20, 2008, 6:42pm EDT

Hmmm, as I interpret this, it is a reflection on memories of days gone by.

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William Dotani Oct 20, 2008, 6:46pm EDT

Magi is getting the gist.

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elizabeth e. Oct 20, 2008, 7:03pm EDT

Sometimes when we ponder the past
Images float by and then collide
School becomes Purgatory, old
friends, strangers and images
under glass tinted with age.

Could I be on the right track, William?

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Barbary Chaapel Oct 20, 2008, 8:15pm EDT

Stream of conscience poetry. You are very good at it, William.

I remember my first day. I stayed on the bus when it drove past my stop - didn't know I should've let the driver know. Then I swore I was never going back - too much noise!

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Elaine B. Oct 20, 2008, 8:15pm EDT

Just stopping by to give a 10!

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Deloris Wright Oct 20, 2008, 8:40pm EDT

Remembering the first day of school and a lot of the first time you went to different places. I remember being so scared or confussed. This poem is very deep. Maybe you should lighten up a bit so we could understand you. LolThanks William!

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Barbara B. Oct 20, 2008, 10:50pm EDT

Going back to read the first Stanza then th elast Stanza.
Now I need to find out what the hey is a Stanza???

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Barbara B. Oct 20, 2008, 10:50pm EDT

Thanks so much for commenting on my series William.

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Marianne M. Oct 20, 2008, 10:52pm EDT

Oh how I agonized over those first days of school, first for myself and then for my daughter and son ... I still remember buying Tommy new "Ninja Turtle" underwear for the first day of third grade ... and it was too small. Poor child was miserable!!!

Wonderful poem, Bill ... with amazing images!

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Kimberly Ripley Oct 20, 2008, 11:50pm EDT

Very, very deep.

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William Dotani Oct 21, 2008, 12:06am EDT

First stanza: We have lots of experiences in life and some stand out and shine, but there have also been tearful goodbyes to teachers, those we love etc.
Second stanza: First days of school have an element of not wanting Summer to end and an element of fear about the subject, other students, the teachers, etc. Surprise is when school anxiety vanishes and we as questions why of that we are learning, but now in our twilight years we look back at when not the whys.

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Elsie Duggan Oct 21, 2008, 2:09am EDT

I think you wrote the story of my life here William, up until the stage I am at, wow, I love the poem goodnight Wiilliam, just coming on today well yesterday, right now, a mad and madder kind of night, had maintenance men here for hours tonight, a refurbished apartment, high rent, HUH!!!!

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Anne B. Grote Oct 21, 2008, 9:36am EDT

It is really cathartic to go down childhood memory lane. Your words, "If Ever" question the memories like a dream state and we know that the only place we can revisit is in our minds. Thanks for a great journey.

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William Dotani Oct 21, 2008, 9:55am EDT

Second stanza, line 2: 'Inside sole spirit, learning unknown surprise.' What I mean here is each person feels surprise at the unknown talent they have at some point in their life.

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Kay M. Oct 21, 2008, 11:44am EDT

I flip through the old albums now and again. You've captured my mix of memories. I remember those beautiful fall days when school seemed like a prison but I always loved learning. Good teachers and bad left their marks on me.

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Marge H. Oct 21, 2008, 4:37pm EDT

Thank you William for the explanation of the first two stanzas. I'm glad I came back to reread this and catch up on the comments.

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Donna C. Oct 21, 2008, 9:37pm EDT

I also understand this better after your explanations William. Thank you.

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Sheila Deeth Oct 22, 2008, 3:34pm EDT

You had me at "first day in school." I was wandering down corridors of prospective new schools, kids in tow, remembering my own first days... and now the kids are grown too.

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necee t. Oct 22, 2008, 8:19pm EDT

hello sweet William... this was quite deep... good work as always... Bless you, friend...

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Curt L. Oct 23, 2008, 10:05am EDT

Great work, William! Thank you for the explainations!

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Jennine D. Oct 28, 2008, 6:14pm EDT

Some deep messages here, a lot between the first stanza and the last, great writing

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Wilma M. Oct 30, 2008, 9:58pm EDT

Glad I came after more explanatory notes were posted. I don't remember the first day of school. I always loved school, even as an adult and sometimes wished I could have been a professional student. As it was, I went to school til I was 28. First, to 4 yrs of college, then graduate school, then back to nursing school.

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Wilma M. Oct 30, 2008, 9:59pm EDT

Now I enjoy being able to go with my grandkids. I think I may start volunteering in the schools next year. I have a very old 4 yr degree in secondary education but I would rather work in elementary school.

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