FUNNIES - "IDIOT SIGHTINGS AROUND THE NATION"

IDIOT SIGHTINGS REPORTED - ARE YOU ON THE LIST?

When I moved to a new address I went to the post office to change my address  and get the keys to the new mail box. I was told that they would be locked in my new mail box! Our tax dollars at work! This sighting was in Orange, TX ~ Mary

 I DIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'      We haven't used Sears repair since.

 I DIOT SIGHTING
 My daughter and I went through the Mc Donald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.'   She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change. 
  Do not confuse the clerks at Mc D 's.

   
I DIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!   I don't think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore.'
>From Kingman, KS.

   

I DIOT SIGHTING IN FOO D SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Belland ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
  From Kansas City

   

I DIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
  'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

   

I DIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

   

   
I DIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at TexasInstruments.

   

   
I DIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas CountySheriffsoffice, no less.

   

   
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi 

   
STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and REPRODUCE and our enemies know it!

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THESE...SENT TO ME BY A FRIEND---HOWEVER I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY VERY OWN "IDIOT SIGHTING" THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY--PLEASE READ ON.

IDIOT SIGHTING: C'VILLE, IN.

We stopped at a local gas station for hubby to run in and pick up a pack of cigerettes, he was in there quite a while and when he finally came out shaking his head, I thought "what now?", as he entered the car he said "Your're not going to believe this and proceeded to tell me this; There are two Mexican's standing in front of him in line to pay, one is an older man and one a younger man but didn't look related, as they spoke to each other in Spanish, what they said was "do you think he'd [the clerk] give me change for a ten?" the other younger guy said "I don't know maybe he won't understand us" and they stood there holding up the line discussing this between themselves.

My husband who took Spanish in College, spoke over their heads to the bewildered staring clerk so as not to embarress the Mexican men...and said in English; "Yeah, he can give you change for a ten", the clerk smiled and said "Yes, I can do that", so the Mexican men stared in shock at my white angelo husband and said to him in Spanish "YOU speak Spanish?" and my husband responded "just a little" in Spanish back at the two men who were still in shock.  Finally the clerk said "you want chyange give me the money" and so the older man handed the clerk a ten and the clerk handed him a five back and pushed it towards him and said "here you go".

The two Mexican men stood there staring at the five and then looked to my husband and said we gave him a ten you saw us, and my husband responded in Spanish "yes, I saw" and then spoke in English to the clerk; "I don't THINK SO--they gave you a TEN and YOU know it" and the clerk who was also brown-skinned smiled as if joking and said "yeah I just wanted to see if they could tell the difference" and took out another five and gave it to the older Mexican man, who turned and thanked my husband.

Here comes the IDIOT part---The Mexican man asked the clerk if he spoke Spanish and the clerk said no, they then asked him in broken English that didn't he take Spanish in school as a second language? Agins the clerk said no, I was busying taking ENGLISH as a second language...to which the two Mexican men stared at him confused and then said "Aren't you MEXICAN?", the clerk appeared very offended and said "No, I'm Pakistani.", and the Mexican men looked confused at each other and at my husband and said "Packing Stand?" and the clerk this time angry yelled; "NO, I'M PAKISTANI!! PAKISTANI FROM PAKISTAN!"

My husband calmly looked at the clerk and said "Doesn't matter how LOUD you yell it they're still NOT going to understand you!" and started laughing, paid for his pack and walked out shaking his head.

I laughed my head off---this clerk thought that YELLING would make them understand what he was saying....what an IDIOT.

KLH2008