My Ferret to be on Country Music Television & "My Big Redneck Wedding" January 9, 2009

(I apologize for the fuzzy photos ... it was rather dark and I had to push the camera a bit)

Photo #1 caption: People arriving at Yankee Lake for the event. There were a LOT of people and they all looked like they'd been there before. I got the feeling this event was one of the most exciting things that happened thereabouts. 

Okay, I promised an update, so here we are! I drove to Yankee Lake in Ohio, about 1-1/2 hours away from where I live in Pittsburgh on Friday night, August 15, 2008. Both MapQuest and my Garmin wanted to route me through New Castle, with many turns and at least one jaunt on the toll road. I chose the more direct path ... straight up Rt. 79, and west on Rt. 80. Tadaa!

It was rather obvious when we got close ... there were a lot of Really Big Trucks ahead of us. The kind that were not street legal and needed to be hauled in on flatbeds! I am not terribly "into" big trucks, but there is a certain amount of awe caused by a tire so big I could not have touched the top of it. Whew.

One of my volunteers (Jackie) came with me. She is a big country music fan and was very interested. I tried to tell her it was going to be loud, dusty, muddy, and involve a lot of standing around waiting. I don't think she believed me. :)  I wouldn't say I have a lot of experience with film crews, but I've had enough to know that there is a lot of "hurry up and wait" that goes on. I hope she did enjoy herself somewhat at least. She said it was "interesting" ... which can be anything from "mildly amusing" to that Chinese sort of interesting when they curse you. (May you have an interesting life.)

At any rate, the trip there was uneventful (the best kind of trip to have) and we arrived a little earlier than I'd told the producer, Mark. I thought we could perhaps walk around and take in the sights, but it turned out we did a lot of waiting around. I'd been promised golf cart transportation from the parking lot to where the filming would be, but despite a number of phone calls, Mark never answered the phone and no one ever came to meet us. Oh well. I was half expecting this, since filming never happens on schedule.

Photo #2 caption: The kid deep in thought was the one who was kind enough to call for us. The lady at the cash register was all business and was obviously used to dealing with large numbers of young "country folk" and no one -- and I mean no one -- got in without paying. 

Jackie and I each grabbed one cage handle and waddled our way from the parking lot to the "main desk" ... a card table where they took money. I was pretty winded by the time we got there, and there had been a few moments where I wondered if my ankles would survive this evening unscathed. I was wearing big, clunky slip-on shoes that just were not suited for the uneven footing. At least all those ruts were dry mud. Otherwise it would have been a lot more interesting ... in that Chinese sort of way.

The lady taking the money gave us the fish eye, obviously wondering why we were carrying a cage of ferrets (I'd brought two so they could choose) when there were signs everywhere that said, "No pets allowed."

I explained we were here for the CMT filming and the ferrets were part of the event. A young guy helping her phoned the CMT crew and they said they'd send someone to get us.

We'd arrived around 7:30 and waited about 10 minutes before trudging to the main entrance. We stood there until 8:00 and when still no one turned up, I asked the kid to call again. They said they'd send someone up. 10 or 15 minutes later, when no one had shown up, I was seriously considering crashing the gate (not paying the $4 to get in) and finding the film crew. My feet hurt! My 50+ year old legs, back and feet are not fond of standing for a long time. I'm sure my weight doesn't help, either.

Just as I was seriously scoping out where to go, this short, wide dude with a headset comes trudging up the hill. Just not what I expected to see! LOL! He was nice, though, and apologized profusely. I mentioned the promised transport (that cage wasn't heavy for short distances, but I swear it gained mass the longer I held it). So we waited some more. *sigh* I am not a terribly patient person, and even when I know I will have to wait, it chafes. This was really hitting my "waiting around for something to happen" limit.

About 10 minutes later, a dude in a bright yellow/green staff shirt pulls up in a jeep that must have had 20 pounds of mud caked on it. I seriously couldn't tell what color it used to be! They put the cage into the jumpseat, and I was eyeing this thing dubiously. Judging by the mud on this thing, the guy driving was wont to take to the air on a regular basis, and I was damned if MY ferret was going to take flying lessons. So Jackie decided to hoof it with Mark and I decided to ride with the ferrets. The floor of this jeep was at knee level. Did I mention I'm a middle-aged fat woman? LOL! Mark was all prepared to boost me from behind, and I think he was amased that I managed to haul myself in without help. (I just flung a leg in, grabbed the frame and hauled myself into the thing. Man, was I ever grateful I'd recently lost 20 pounds!)

I turned in my seat and got a death grip on my ferret's cage and we bumbled and lurched across the ruts down to the "Tug O' War" pit.

Photo #3 caption: This is a "behind the scenes" shot to the left of the tug of war pit. The adult staff member is sitting on the wall and the kids are on the hump of dirt behind it. You can see the wall around the edges of the pit, behind which stand the spectators. In this shot, you can see the camera on the end of the articulated arm.

What, you may ask, is a Tug O' War pit? Well, it's a big dusty rectangle with concrete walls that are about 3-1/2 to 4 feet high around the edges, and two larger, thicker concrete walls at either end. It didn't occur to me what those were for until much later.

Photo #4 caption: This is the right side of the tug of war pit. Here you can see more spectators and the kids sitting behind the concrete wall. 

We were "parked" at a picnic bench at the one end of the pit, just behind where two cameras were set up. That end of the pit was fenced in with wire (reminiscent of something you'd find around animal pens). The cameras were up on a "hill" of sorts. It didn't occur to me until later what that hill was for.

Photo caption: This was the member of the crew assigned to "babysit" us. Normally, they call it babysitting to each other, but don't tell the people being babysat! This girl said she was assigned to babysit! LOL! 

They had another camera on a long, articulated arm thingy. It was piloted by a cameraman with either lots and lots of experience or no fear at all. Or maybe both. It was a rather cool setup ... the camera stayed level and still, no matter how many bumps the cart went over, or how it was swung around by the arm. I was fascinated watching the guy swing it in circles (taping the audience), swooping and dipping into the crowd to get closeups of some people. I suppose these people were friends and family of the bride and groom. I noticed that any time the camera was near, they plastered big grins on their faces, despite a rather large and presumably heavy camera swooping in for the kill ...er, shot. I'm not sure I could have maintained a toothy grin watching that thing coming right at me. I would have feared for my front teeth!

Photo #5 caption: Here is one of the film crew getting some "crowd shots." I was bemused that the CMT crew were hard to distinguish from the people attending.  

[Let me pause a second to comment about just how close they like to get those cameras. A nice closeup on the TV screen means the camera is between 1 and 3 feet away from your face. When I was videotaped for the PBS ferret special, I found it difficult to concentrate on what I wanted to say with this huge black "eye" peering at me.]

Finally, the bride and groom arrived ... inside one of those monster trucks! They made an ungodly amount of noise just idling. Of course, they had to "ham it up" for the camera. The truck (called "Nightmare") came in, vroomed a few times, then really let loose and made that engine SCREAM as it performed a tight turn, spewing dust and grit into the air. I watched the camera swoop and dive in and out of that dust. I also saw the cameraman cleaning his lens a few minutes later.

Photo caption: Note the kid covering his ears. He was the smart one in that group! That thing was LOUD. How do you like this thing as a limo? I don't know how they got out of it, though. This one is worth looking at in larger format, I think.

The truck came to a halt and somehow or other the happy couple disembarked. I didn't see it through the haze of dust. They parked the couple on the previously mentioned thick concrete wall/hill combo, just in front of the cameras. The bride was wearing a pink camoflage t-shirt and blue jeans. It went well with the white bridal veil. The groom was dressed in something that looked rather sport-coatish and blue jeans. Definitely an unusual-looking bridal pair!

I heard later that the film crew made them go through the marriage ceremony twice. Gee, I can't wait to see what that looked like. I missed that part because I was standing around waiting.

Finally, finally, they got going. The bride gave her gift to her new hubby, and he looked not so much happy and excited as dumbfounded. I still don't know what the heck it was. It was much too noisy for me to hear what she said.

Caption: This is Geronimo in his handsome red bandanna waiting for his chance to go in front of the camera. He was intrigued with the screaming loud trucks rather than afraid of them. I was glad for that!

Then they called for the ferret. It was supposed to be a surprise and they wanted him IN something. So we found a box and I put my Geronimo in there (Mark had chosen him) with a little Ferretone to keep him quiet. THEN they sent someone to make the music stop and made them do it again!

Caption: Mark trying to keep the ferret IN the box until he was needed. I didn't get a photo of Geronimo almost making it out, but there was at least one time I saw a little bit of ferret sticking up. 

I was standing there, watching Mark with the box o' ferret. By now, the ferret has long ago finished the Ferretone and explored the 1.5 square feet of the inside of the box (which is closed). Mark is holding the lid down, and I can see the top of the box bounce up on a regular basis. After a few insistant bounces (it really looked like the ferret was going to get out on the next bounce), the director put his hand in there to calm the ferret. Brave man! I stood there watching, holding my breath hoping Geronimo didn't bite the guy! It was really noisy, and I didn't think the ferret was all that thrilled to be stuffed into a box and held against his will!

Caption: Again, I apologize for the blurry photo, but it was dark, and the camera had a very slow shutter. I couldn't use the flash while they were filming. The bride is hiding her face (not horrified at being given a ferret!). 

Finally, they were ready. They brought the box over to the groom while the bride covered her eyes. He reached in and pulled out Geronimo, and to the groom's credit he didn't react at the hugeness of the ferret. I knew he hadn't seen Geronimo beforehand.

Caption: This is where Geronimo stuck his nose in her ear.

He handed the ferret to the bride and she was delighted. I don't know at what point she was told she couldn't have THAT ferret, but she sure did like him. Geronimo promptly stuck his nose in her ear, snuzzled at her hair, and was going for the bridal veil, when she pulled him back and held him. At one point, the ferret turned and looked straight at me. I could almost hear him saying, "Hey! What the heck is going on here?!?"

Caption: Notice the kids looking out of the truck window. They weren't too interested until the ferret turned up. I believe the children are the bride's.

Caption: More kids looking out!

Here is where Geronimo looked at me. I'm really disappointed it was blurry, but you can still get the effect. He stared right at me, and I was much too far away for him to really be able to see me. I can't wait to see how this looks on film. I hope they put this part in! 

Good breeding was showing in Geronimo's temperament that night. He was curious but not freaked out by the loud noises. He was calm in their arms and while he wanted down, he did not get overly anxious or insistant. I'd been taking him out of the cage, holding him, giving him a treat and putting him back for the last 30 minutes, hoping to get him used to the idea. Apparently it worked. 

Jackie holding the female ferret named Bentley, talking to people at the event.

This is Jackie holding my baby ferret, Geronimo. He's only 5 months old. Yes, he's huge. 

Jackie and I talked to a number of people after the bride and groom left, let lots of people pet the ferrets, answers tons of questions, etc. Here are some photos of Jackie and the ferrets. (There IS an advantage to being the photographer -- you're never in the photos!)

Truck tug of war. A lot more exciting where you're standing right in front of them. I kept hoping the chain between them didn't break. That's when I realized what that wall was for. It seemed like no protection at all!

This is the part where I explain why the walls and mound of dirt were there. While we were waiting (fruitlessly I might add) for some transport back to the car, they started the Tug O' War event. This involved attaching two really big trucks to each other, rear-end to rear-end, then they floor it! I stood there watching the smoke rise from the tires for a while before it dawned on me what was happening! Hey, I was tired!

It's an odd feeling staring a huge truck right in the headlights, while the engine is screaming, the tires are spinning and smoke is rising! After that I realized it was time to go home. I obviously was not recognizing danger! LOL!

We trudged up the hill after waiting for a while to see if Mark could scare up a transport. We met him at the front gate and he carried the cage to the car for us. Here are a couple photos of Mark and Geronimo. The first one is right after Geronimo stuck his nose in Mark's ear.

Mark is supposed to send me a check for gas money. He hasn't responded to my email yet giving him my address. I hope he's good on his promise. I'll let you know if it shows up.