My Dad is a Nut

Yes, he's crazy. The whole family says it, even grandpa. The other evening Iasked him to help me write a composition. He didn't want to. He said, "Youcan do that by yourself."

"No!" I said. "You must help me!"

He said, "I'm busy." He was reading a poetry book. Can youimagine? He likes poetry! My grandpa said, "Just idiots like such mad things,because all poets are idlers and alcoholics."

He is so oddish! He doesn't watch TV news like grandpa. He draws his boringsketches. He is an inventor. Can you imagine? Recently, he spent three hundreddollars to buy some tools, wires, pieces of plastic and something else I havenever seen. Can you imagine how many barbies I could buy for such big money?And what he invented! A watchyamacallit... A soup plate which soars around theroom. He's just too lazy to carry his soup by himself. Who needs such devices?

My grandpa said, "You'd better earn money. "My mom said, "He isgoing to make us beggars through his inventions."

By the way, about flying plates . . . This morning he was cleaning thedishes when I needed to wash my hands. When I tried to use the sink withhim, he dropped a plate and broke it. Why couldn't he use his invention? He isso clumsy!

Isn't he stupid? He couldn't do my homework in math last night! I asked mygrandpa to help me in math, but he couldn't understand anything. He didn't dowell in school. He said,"Nuts always do well in school. Ask yourdad." ...So, I got into trouble. What he wrote! When I showed it to myteacher, her face lengthened.

She said, "This can't be your work! You must do it by yourself!"Indeed! What next! Our principal (he, too, is a mathematician) called meinto his office and demanded, "Who did your math homework for you?"

I was forced to confess that my dad had done it. The principal said,"The president of Mathematics Society wants to see him immediately!"

Boy, is Dad going to catch it now!