I just received a good bye email from a good Gather friend who I've supported and has greatly supported me. My friend is leaving Gather because another Member has harassed, made false allegations, and reported trivial incidental items, comments, articles - you name it to Gather's Powers that be.
This reminds me of another instance last month in which another of my good Gather friends was in a fast and turbulent feud with yet another member! The reason: The Cardinal Sin of disagreeing with a particular POV or article subject matter. A perceived wrong by quite a few Gather members lately. (As the political season really ramps and roils up, I cringe to read the thread of comments and feel sorry for those who must investigate OUR reports.)
I'm almost afraid to write anything that may be construed as controversial or comment on much political content, because my views are in the minority on Gather and the vitriolic comments and/or taunting emails. I have had to block one email tormenter.
WHY?
I came to Gather with an open mind, curious to read opinions that differ from me, and to write: book reviews, poetry, essays, short fiction. Then I receive an email, just tearing my article or poem or image because I dare to have an opinion or vision that is mine alone. I am shocked at the viciousness of comments that are conveniently masked under "do you mind some constructive criticism?" I perfer the straight forward approach such as: "I hate your article because... Or you dorky conservative without a valid thought in your war moggering Right-winged religious head, you're wrong because..."
And there the few people that I call Drive By Point 1 without leaving a comment. I've never done that, and a few articles have really upset me to the point that I can't find anything positive about it, I just move on to the next interesting article without rating or commenting on the article. Some of my connections have dropped me or won't comment on my articles anymore because of my conservatism, but that's okay because those who take the time time to read and comment on my articles and images have given me some invaluable support and very constructive criticism, and I thank each and every one of them by trying to leave a 10 rating and a comment on their articles and images.
Even though I don't agree with many opinion articles, I find many of them well written and thoughtful. I love learning new things and Points of View. Gather would be very boring if everyone had the same opinions, subject matter, photos, and experiences, don't you agree?
Then please help me to understand all of the vitriolic meaness that is beginning to purmeate all over Gather.com?
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Comments: 50
and the more attention people give those who are looking for negative attention, the more they'll keep on doing what works...
the only way to minimize it is to quit feeding it
I can't get over that 1 of the most popular Member is leaving because of being tormented.
I just hated what my two good Gather friends are going through. I now post whatever the heck is on my mind. And, I am a moderate, not a rabid loon as I alluded to in my piece BTW.
People with attitude are a tiny minority....the vast majority are great. Why let the fruit lupes drive you away? Live and let live is my motto.
If it is a "good friend" then whether or not this person is on gather doesn't mean anything. You will still be able to converse with this person. If it is someone you ONLY know through Gather, then it isn't a good friend, but a cool person you met.
Folks have odd notions of close friendships in the internet age.
I get kind of amused with these "Farewell cruel world" threads. Not to be cruel, but they make no sense to me. It's the internet. Some people have no lives, and the only way to make themselves feel better is to harass other people on the internet. If someone harasses you, place them on ignore and..ignore. Bullies go away if they don't get attention. But too often folks surrender to the drama. And all you have done with THIS article is give the harasser power of you as well. You are giving this sad person with no life the attention they want, as well as a false sense of power because they were able to "make" someone quit gather.
If someone "reports" you, and you didn't do anything, Gather isn't going to do anything either. And what the blue hell does it matter if your article gets 'reported" anyway? Besides someone's pride, what harm does it cause? So your article gets a flag. Big deal. I've had articles flagged and comments deleted. I'm not about to go cry about it. I move on. I have a real life outside of Gather.
If the torment is so horrific that a person feels the need to leave a website...whether it be gather or any site, then A. the person is too thin-skinned to be online anyway or B. something actually illegal transpired and you should be talking to a lawyer. Short of someone hacking your account, posting naked photos of you, or threatening you with physical harm, there is NOTHING a person on the internet can do to "make" you leave.
All quitting the site does is give the so-called harasser the power over you that they want. And all posting an article about it does is give the harasser more false power.
I'm sorry to hear that Gather is losing another member because of this type of behavior.
Gather asks that the photos posted be yours and because that doesn't happen the DB'1ers have fun dumping on Internet photos but often make mistakes and dump on mine and yours too.
I think points are a waste of time, comments are important and so are captions. Captions lets the viewer know what was going on when you took the photo and makes them feel a part of it.
I also think it's important to answer the questions asked about your photos, videos and articles. It lets your connections know you actually looked at their comments and that they are important to you.
Like I said - it's just like life. You've got to be nice to get nice and the bums are always around.
I'm sorry your friend is leaving - I enjoyed your article. Thanks for posting it to BEST ORIGINAL PHOTOS, ART, VIDEOS AND WRITING FOR 2008.
P.S. It has been going on for a long time and will continue to go on. When I joined over a year ago I was hearing what you wrote about and wondering what I was getting into...but I'm still here.
It sounds like your friend was really hurt. Gather staff by now, are probably pretty sharp about these things, and will see jealousy for what it is, or dislike., Maybe someone who is a friend of your friend, talks to her more on a few subjects. It is important to remember these are High Schoool attitudes, and not that of adults. That is what Gather should be about. I have had a few bad times, and I am with Rob on this, I just still do my thing. You can tell your friend that Gather is a big place, and she could move on. I am always open to new ideas and opinions myself, and at times, I am I guess controversial, I however just see me as I am, happy for the site, and the people I can call friend. I hope she stays, there are many good people here, and one can learn a lot from them. Ellen B
Does anyone know if there is a complaint board for reviewing malicious content?
It is childish and rude, but what can we do?
If you don't want your articles stained with vitreolic comments, you'll need to be prepared to defend yourself. As the author of an article, you have the options of deleting individual comments, not allowing any comments, or reporting particularly bad behavior to Gather for disciplinary action. Even if they try to be anonymous, cyber bullies and predators can be identified and dealt with accordingly.
Julie, I know it is the internet, but Rob, Marilyn, Amanda, and Ellen B have valid comments. Some people on this site spend their day on Gather hiding behind anonymity of the Internet to be viciously mean rather than writing articles or rebuttal articles to different POVs not caring if someone's feelings are hurt.
I hate the fact that Rob quit writing because of insensitive individuals, because he is quite the writer :). Just think of a new member being subjected to the kind of behavior I described in my article. I wouldn't want to stay on the site either after that kind of welcome. My first few articles were treated that way and I stupidly deleted them. Many people, such as all of you who've given your time and have left interesting and thoughtful comments - I thank you for answering my question: Why?
And Mary Z knows the the former member I speak of. She was a great addition to this site and I for am going to miss her. Mary, hit the Report this as potentially inappropriate icon at the bottom of an article. Or ask Nana to Seven Cutie Pies, she'd know who to complain to.
I would just block the jerk
Using Rob as an example only, I have to say that if he quit writing it was because he chose to. No one forced him to make that choice and he alone is responsible for having done so.
The same goes for the choice someone makes in leaving here. It isn't because of someone else's behavior, it is because they made that choice instead of a different one.
Whether he is a good writer, or not, is a matter of opinion. Some opinions regarding the quality of writing that is presented here are based on some very basic fundamentals of writing. One person may enjoy what they have read, however, from the standpoint of the basics of writing, those with experience in that area may find the same piece lacking in some way or another. Unfortunately, when those who have that expertise apply it, by commenting here, it is deemed a slam because the only thing some folks want to hear is "Wow, that is really great! Here's a 10 for you!"
As far as debate is concerned, I always figure; if a person resorts to ad hominem attack, not only are they lacking maturity, they are also losing the argument.
These are sensible words from Lisa.
No one forces a person to do anything about Gather.
Gather prohibits one from using crude and offensive speech without warning, and prohibits threats or personal attacks.
Other than that, it is important that stupid and untruthful articles be called stupid and untruthful.
And then there's the culture of fear we've been developing. Economic fear, health fear, terrorism fear, strangers fear. Fear is a good device for manipulating people, but it turns them nasty. I take care of some pet wild turkeys, and they pick on each other, and I had to realize that when I got angry about that, they picked it up and got more aggressive. When I got cool, assumed the aggressor was in distress, held him or her down for a minute and talked soothingly, things got better.
Well, I hope you don't get discouraged. Do what's necessary to block the nasties. Keep contributing.
Marry me!
and furthermore, I like to have connections that disagree with me or bring something out my usual day into my scope.
I have a feeling you and I would disagree about things...I just hope you aren't a brick wall...and I'm not a brick wall.