by Christopher K.
Member since:
May 19, 2007

Why Do People Do This?

November 28, 2007 01:05 PM EST
views: 129 | comments: 69
why do people ask you to connect with them and never respond to any of your posts?
any of you ever wonder why people do this?
back when i started,i commented on all of the people i am connected with,a certain few,have never once commented for me..
is it me or do you hate this also?
do we get points to have so many useless connections?
man,i gotta find out,anyone know?
to many people only out for themselves.....it just floors me to see this running rampant around the net...i dont get it,do you?
why do people do this?
i haveta take one full day and do alot of resorting
do you people out there in gatherland remove people you are connected with when this happens?
when this happens,what do you do?
remove them or do you keep them connected with you?
am curious to read your comments regarding this
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Comments: 69

donna h. Nov 28, 2007, 1:08pm EST
Hi Christopher..lol..I am your friend!..

but seriously I try to comment on every email that comes my way..I know that half these people dont do that for me.
donna h. Nov 28, 2007, 1:09pm EST
but I guess I dont care at times!!
Linda G. Nov 28, 2007, 1:09pm EST
good questions, some people just never respond and I have disconnected a few without penalty. Maybe they are not doing Gather anymore. I try to keep up with regulars, but get annoyed with too many private emails begging for points without any content. Believe it or not, I enjoy the connections and dialogue more than the points.
Lori F. Nov 28, 2007, 1:14pm EST
Christopher my opinion on this. I have lots of connections. I dont respond to everything they have written nor do I expect them to respond to everything that I write. Some of them primarily play games which I dont do very often but I dont ever disconnect.

I like having all the connections. I like to know if I want to play a game I can go to my articles and play games. or read news or POV or Haiku's.

To limit your connections is to limit your options. IMHO
Marianne R. Nov 28, 2007, 1:14pm EST
I don't comment on everything, especially freebies since I do not partake in them. Some games have too many comments once I come along and then I skip those too. I do comment where I can though :)
Lori F. Nov 28, 2007, 1:15pm EST
What's the "penalty" for disconnecting?
Janet Somewhere Up On The Mount Nov 28, 2007, 1:15pm EST
I don't worry about it. You can tell who does and who don't keep up with your groups and articles. Even I cannot keep up with ALL my connections I keep them and hope they read my stuff occasionally.
Leslie "Missy" T. Nov 28, 2007, 1:16pm EST
I haven't disconnected with anyone. It does bother me alittle when I am always commenting on stuff, but they never comment on mine. Sometimes I go through my contacts and if I haven't commented on theirs in awhile, I go check out their stuff. I do try to answer all who comment on my stuff. If I don't then I didn't mean to. I do have some great connections here though.
Susan E. Nov 28, 2007, 1:22pm EST
I disconnected with one person who was only sending games I didn't want to play. I try to keep up with reading the things written by people in my groups or my connections. There is so much stuff, though, it's hard to keep up. I also like to see what's featured on the gather home page and often comment on those things just because I find them interesting--what a concept! I hope people will read and comment on my work because they find them interesting or want to talk about a topic I've brought up, but that doesn't always happen.

Generally I comment on stuff from my people just to comment and support them. Again, I hope it's reciprocal, but I'm not keeping score.
I hate this as well! I have over 600 connections, but most of my regular articles might get 10 comments - I mean what is up with that? Now a game will get lots of comments & I understand that they are fun to do...but out of 600+ connections couldn't an article get at least 50 comments?
M C. Nov 28, 2007, 1:27pm EST
good question Chris, I think its just a leisurely site where you pick and choose what you do. Some people are here for articles, some for points or gift cards and some to play community police. It's a fun site tho :)
Birdee F. Nov 28, 2007, 1:27pm EST
I only disconnect from people that irritate me or overly attack things that I love. ;o) I just try & comment on those people who comment on my stuff....when I was new I wasn't as good at that...I try & get everyone. ;o) Plus your stuff has to be things I am into ;o) (but not always....I will still rate a 10 ;o))
Elaine B. Nov 28, 2007, 1:58pm EST
There are people in my connection who don't respond to my articles. I do wonder about it, but I don't delete them. I try to comment on every article, but sometimes I can only comment on most of them.
Jesse B. Nov 28, 2007, 2:14pm EST
There are a lot of articles out there. I try to comment on as many as I can.
carmel m. Nov 28, 2007, 2:28pm EST
I admit I fall behind. Then I will go through all of my connections and read what they have taken the time to write. I usually do this at least once every 2 weeks or so.
Roger Kiser Nov 28, 2007, 2:36pm EST
I do not respond to many things, though I do read almost everything you write. I rate but rarely respond as I have hundreds of things going on each day, not to mention several hundred e-mails everyday. I have some twenty accounts at various other sites but rarely even have time to respond to them.

All each of us can do, is do the best we can. Those who do not respond...Well, it's their loss.

Internet friends come in all shapes and sizes. Some have big hearts while others have small hearts, when it comes to sharing with others. Some are very kind and giving while others are selfish. It is this mix of people that makes gather.com such a wonderful site. Could be a lot worse...We might have to put up with tons of kid's s%&t and junk like on myspace.com.

I work everyday of the year to help abused children. I have hundreds of friends here on gather, but only sixteen bought a book to help me continue my work. That bothered me a little bit but I just accept my friends the way they are. If I didn't I would not have any friends (LOL).
CyberGwen ! Nov 28, 2007, 2:40pm EST
I don't let it bother me.
necee t. Nov 28, 2007, 3:01pm EST
i'm just happy to have my connections that i can go to and say hi and stuff...
i don't care about the points... i just like to know there are people who like me...
i guess i'm weird...
Blessings to you all...
Diana B. Nov 28, 2007, 6:23pm EST
I will honestly admit that I don't comment on the majority of my connections' articles just for the fact that they have never posted anything on any of my articles since I accepted them as one of my connections.

I've been thinking about deleting a bunch of my connections just for the reason what I thought I had in common with them was only for that brief moment in time when one of their articles caught my eye, but other than that why have a bunch of people who for whatever reason choose not to comment on your articles?? Granted, I may not write about funny and or interesting things, but why can't people who consider themselves my connections leave some stupid generic comment???

I feel it is just common courtesy if someone takes the time to comment on several of your articles or even a few, then you should reciprocate by doing the same. It does bother me sometimes even makes me frustrated that people are so selfish and are willing to take but not give back.
Bonnie S. Nov 28, 2007, 6:25pm EST
I comment back to everyone that comments on my stuff, I don't write much so they don't really have anything to comment on. I do go through my connections about every 2 weeks and get them all. There is just so much to read and look at here it's hard to get it all. I like your freebies and pictures : )
Spencer T. Nov 28, 2007, 7:41pm EST
I have a habit of going to who ever left a comment on my writes to comment on theirs. I have a lot of connections who I rarely see. I thnk its time for me to purge some of those connections.
Kim M. Nov 28, 2007, 8:56pm EST
I try to comment on as much as I can, but my time is limited when I'm online so I have to pick and choose what I comment on and even read. I haven't been able to look at images in days and I love those. I think disconnecting from people does limit your options as others have pointed out. You never know when they may have the time to start commenting on everyone's articles. Unless of course they are just greedy and out for themselves. =)
Christopher K. Nov 29, 2007, 12:15am EST
id like to thank everyone who gave me their opinions on people connecting with you and not commenting.i enjoyed reading them...i needed input on what you all do and i got it..Thanks!

Lori F-you gave the best reason i think to keep the connections.for the options are vast with numerous connections...thanks,means i guess im keeping all the connections ive Gatherered : )
pun intended

that doesnt mean i didnt get anything off the rest of your comments,i did,and i thank you all also

ill get to all your posts tomorrow sometime,im about to head off to bed now in a few
Good Night Gang!
Trish A. Nov 29, 2007, 10:50am EST
Christopher, I have way too many contacts to keep up with them. I used to when the number was easier to deal with. I try to return comments on my writing and sometimes that keeps so busy I don't have time to search out the articles from my contacts. I wish we had a better way to organize our contacts so when I was interested in games I could go to that folder of contacts and when I was interested in poetry I could go to a folder with only my poetry contacts, etc.

I'm glad you've gotten so many contacts and thanks for stopping by my article!
Christopher K. Nov 29, 2007, 11:48am EST
Trish-i like your idea about organizing our connections better....have them separted by groups and such is a great idea
would make thing easier on my part as well-you should write gather and share your idea

ty both for commenting and sharing your thoughts-i appreciate it
Christopher K. Nov 29, 2007, 11:48am EST
be getting to your posts this am all-ty again for all your wonderful thoughts and comments
The Red Headed Witch of Gather G. Nov 29, 2007, 1:13pm EST
I have so many connections, it is literally impossible for me to comment on everyone's work. There are two ways I comment: 1. If I happen to be browsing my Gather page and an article, photo or video catches my eye 2. if someone comments on any of my Gather content, I will visit their page and comment on theirs
Amy Clark Nov 29, 2007, 1:13pm EST
I have never removed anyone. I try to read the stuff that shows up on my Gather page and comment on what I read. I haven't been around all that much since classes started back up, so I obviously haven't been posting much or commenting much. On the few days I do have the opportunity to "gather" I usually start by cleaning out my email inbox and responding to the ones that are relevant to me. Often, by the time I get through all of those, I run out of time for much else.
I'm not all that bothered by people not responding to my articles and such because I figure most are busy like I am and probably don't have all that much time to spend here. Occasionally I will be surprised that an article doesn't generate much response, but then I just move on to the next thing and don't let it bother me too much.
Kimber L. Nov 29, 2007, 1:15pm EST
I have my things set that I have to approve all comments on my work, when a new comment comes up for approval first thing I do is click on the person and go through their work for as long as I have time rating as much as their stuff as I can. I also have favorites I check everyday. I also browse the groups I am in to look for new works members have posted that i like.
Kimber L. Nov 29, 2007, 1:16pm EST
I also will look through comments my connections have made and if something catches my eye I will comment on it as well
Christopher K. Nov 29, 2007, 1:18pm EST
ty all for sharing your thoughts and commenting
M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Nov 29, 2007, 1:54pm EST
I try commenting on as many as I can but it can be overwhelming sometimes. I try to make a point of reading things written by friends who have commented on my articles. I feel if they can take time to do that, surely I can take time to do it for them.

Thanks too for commenting on my miracle drug article and quick tips 4 u. I wrote a short detail of the miracle drug that you might find interesting.


Details On the Miracle Drug
ann c. Nov 29, 2007, 2:27pm EST
I usually try to comment on my people's articles, images but don't always get a chance. That's why I don't want 500 "friends". I came over to your article cause I read your comment another. So here's a ten for you.
Christopher K. Nov 29, 2007, 2:35pm EST
ty both for sharing and commenting
Jaime R. Nov 29, 2007, 5:31pm EST
I can't comment on all the emails I get - too many - even from people I am not connected to - not sure how that happens! I try to comment on at least one thing from everyone who comments for me but sometimes I am just not able to. I do try though. And you do an amazing job - not sure how you keep up!
arlene (no shame in my game) w. Nov 29, 2007, 8:33pm EST
I have a few who have never responded and never commented on a single article of mine, but they email me regularly to read their articles. I don't disconnect, but I have starting deleting their emails without reading their articles.
Trish A. Nov 30, 2007, 9:25am EST
I hope you're having better luck with getting comments. Thanks so much for your comments on my articles.
Jaye S. Nov 30, 2007, 9:39am EST
I'm guilty of this! I usually comment on work that is under the articles/images from my connections when I log on. I also look for certain connections work that interests me and I know will take a look at what I publish.

My time on here is limited, so I don't have time to get to it all. Some days, I don't get on here at all and I feel sad....I have withdrawls lol.

I'm always looking for your stuff though.
Christopher K. Nov 30, 2007, 10:54am EST
this article i wrote gave me some great opinions and thoughts regarding this topic..i thankyou all for taking time out to answer

Lyla-what link do you need?

Trih-no problem,i comment to everyone who comments for me,just takes me some time to get to them all,but i alwayts get there

Ja'Nelle-Thankyou Darlin'....Happy Birthday Ja'Nelle : )
Christopher K. Nov 30, 2007, 10:55am EST
i'll get to all your posts soon
William M. Nov 30, 2007, 12:30pm EST
Every one is different and have different reasons. I don't have time to go through my list of connections and drop any, which I probably should do.
Amanda C. Nov 30, 2007, 4:34pm EST
Hi Christopher..

I have a lot of connections that I notice NEVER comment on any of my stuff.
Amanda C. Nov 30, 2007, 4:35pm EST
I do my very best to get around to all my connections, and when I log in each day, I go back thru all the new articles and photos, and try to comment on them.

Then I go back to my stuff, and start going thru who has left me comments and start going to each of them and leaving them a few comments if they have anything new to comment on that I havn't got already.
Amanda C. Nov 30, 2007, 4:38pm EST
I don't always have time to get to everyone, but I do my best, and if I get to everyone that left me a comment on a particular article or photo, then I leave a thank you, that way I know I got to everyone..
It is hard sometimes with so many connections tho
Amanda C. Nov 30, 2007, 4:38pm EST
Altho, I have to say, that if I see something I like, I still comment on it, regardless of it that person ever leaves me a comment back or not.

I get points for leaving them a comment, so why not...
Chuck M. Nov 30, 2007, 4:44pm EST
Hey Chris...I try to comment on my connections. Sometimes I can't get to them for a day or two. However, if I get spam from a connection, I'll remove them which has only happened once because I try to look at who the connections are before adding or accepting them. :)
Margaret C. Nov 30, 2007, 5:44pm EST
to answer your question pal , I am working through 2 days work , I have been at it for 2 hours and probably have the same to go again , I hate not answering someone who has been kind enough to answer me , I have not been here long enough to know all yet xx
Sheila Deeth Nov 30, 2007, 8:45pm EST
I've not removed anyone yet, but I tend to be slow accepting new connections. I suspect I should probably lose a few sometime, but it all takes extra effort. I end up having a few favorite pages I always go to, some groups, and everyone who comments on my stuff. Keeps me more than busy enough - and somewhere in between I try to find time to keep writing. (And looking for a job, but that's an entirely different story...)
Ruthe M. Nov 30, 2007, 9:04pm EST
I try to return comments of those who have given a comment. Even if they are not connected. I try and look through my connections and see who has written an article; but then I can't always catch up. They really like to write around here!! :)
But, I try to at least extend the courtsey of checking out my connections and at least dropping in and making a comment. It's the least I could do, to help foster the idea of community and networking. Sometimes you want to see some comments, and you will; then there are times when you may feel desserted. Perhaps there is just a better way to this whole commenting thing. I don't know. I just wish more people were more courteous and felt the same.
why do people ask you to connect with them and never respond to any of your posts?
any of you ever wonder why people do this?
back when i started,i commented on all of the people i am connected with,a certain few,have never once commented for me..
is it me or do you hate this also?-----------------------

I check out the articles or photos of anyone who comments on something I write.
I do not always answer back in my comments,unless someone asks a question.
I have noticed many people who never look at anything I write, even if I comment many times on their work.
I just keep mental note next time & remember those who are courteous all the more.
Great topic.
Phyllis R. Dec 1, 2007, 12:36am EST
Christopher, I have seriously been thinking about 'weeding' some of my connections out. When you do your best to comment on everyones stuff and only a few comment on your stuff sometimes it make you wonder. I think I had rather have fewer connections that are faithful (I can spend more time on their stuff then rushing trying to get to everyone) then hundreds of connections that you never get comments from. It is not all about the points to me, I like to read/view because some of my connections really share very interesting and informative stuff those are the ones I want to stay connected with!!!!!! BTW, thanks for commenting on ALL my stuff, very much appreciated!!!! I call you "my joker" !! (LOL)
PEACEOWORK :) Dec 1, 2007, 11:18am EST
I do my comments kind of randomly.

I look at the new images, and also read some articles.

I make new connections that way.

As far as the emails go, there are way tooo many for me to answer all of them.
Rose T. Dec 1, 2007, 9:36pm EST
Well the sad thing is not everything interests everybody. I try to connect with people of the same interests and the ones who have a unique style that draws me in. True we can't look at everybody's everything as there aren't enough hours in the day.... But I do try to comment back and when I get an email that interests me I'll answer. Most emails I'm getting lately only state look at my sight with very little info to see if it is something I am interested in.
Christopher K. Dec 2, 2007, 8:50am EST
ty all for commenting,loved reading your responses,be getting to all your posts this morning sometime,thanks
Christopher K. Dec 2, 2007, 8:58am EST
Amanda & Chuck-ty both tons for commenting

Ruthe-i agree with you hun-i do wish people were more courteous

Phyllis-i was thinking o weeding my connections out as well,but as i was told above,to remove my connections is to limit options,but i know what your saying,your a sweetheart,thankyou

Mar-wasnt referring to anyone in particular..you comment on me at times,i meant the ones who never do or have never.ty so much for commenting
Christopher K. Dec 2, 2007, 8:59am EST
if i missed anyone,ty also for commenting,im reading as i go and am really enjoying all of your opinions and comments-ty all
Donna Besso Dec 2, 2007, 12:15pm EST
Very true, Christopher. I have alot of connections and I do try to take time and comment and I appreciate others reading my content. I'm your friend.
I found this through an article by Lyla. I have many connections and try to comment and rate their images/articles as time allows. If I miss several days in a row of being on Gather, it is very difficult to catch everything someone may have posted. When this happens, I go through my email and hit those people's publications.
I appreciate people taking time to publish an article and/or image and try to respond accordingly in my comments. Things that do not necessarily hold any interest for me, I at least try to leave a generic comment.
Cristina S. Dec 2, 2007, 4:42pm EST
Christopher, I try to keep up, but sometimes life gets in the way. Then I just have to pick it up wherever I am, so maybe I am missing things.
Daniel M. Dec 2, 2007, 9:38pm EST
I don't know about anybody else, but I'm still trying to figure out how this Gather place is supposed to work.
Christopher K. Dec 3, 2007, 9:50am EST
ty all for commenting,appreciate it,be getting to your posts this am
Leah A. Dec 4, 2007, 12:26pm EST
I used to go through all my connections and try to comment on at least one article or picture of theirs per day, but it got too time consuming. Plus, like you mentioned, a lot of them did not resiprocate. Now, I comment as much as I can, but I make an extra effort to comment on articles and pictures published by people that have commented on my stuff. By the way, thank you very much for your prayers and support lately. I greatly appreciate it!
Sandra T. Dec 4, 2007, 5:17pm EST
I have been really interested on the images that are posted lately so what I do is go through the images from my connections and try to comment on all of them. I will say that I don't comment on many articles because like I said I really enjoy the photos. If there is something you would like me to comment on, Christopher, please do not hesitate to mail it to me, we are connected. But I rarely see a comment from you on my articles either. It's all about how much time you have allotted for Gather I think.

There are days when I can spend hours upon hours, and other times when I only have 20 minutes a day.
Lisa (I love loons) C. Dec 5, 2007, 2:48pm EST
Hi Christopher - I really don't let that bother me. I try to comment on as many things as I can. Some days I have more time than other days. Also with being disabled, some times I just can't get onto the computer for long without pain so I have to get offline earlier than I would wish to. Also, it's hard to see every single article that is written. I personally like it when people email me to let me know that they have published an article or image. That way I know that they have done so. Otherwise, it's easy to miss some really good things. I never intend to miss my connections articles, but sometimes it happens. In short, though, I do NOT remove connections unless they have given me a really, REALLY good reason to. And that has only happened 2 times. Once I was sexually harassed and the second I found out they were a scammer. I try to not take things so personally. I figure everyone has a busy life. I HOPE that people will comment, but alot of my connections don't. I just live with that.... and hope that someday they will. :)
Christopher K. Dec 5, 2007, 8:16pm EST
Leah-my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family hun-ty

Sandra T.-hi hun,the people that comment for me,i always comment for them first when i wake in the morning,whatever time i have left is focused on those that havent commented for me..maybe thats why we dont comment for each alot.sorr hun,but we still comment : )
hugs

ceena-i did that for a while myself

lisa,im sorry you experienced trouble with a couple of people-ive had a few troubles myself witha few certain individuals-i got rid of them as my connections-but you have a great attitude towards commenting,ty for sharing it

and ty all for commenting-i really do appreciate it
Dee - Nature Babe! Dec 12, 2007, 3:36pm EST
I leave them and try to get back to them too! Thanks for pointing out my faults!
Baylee C. Dec 17, 2007, 2:02pm EST
I do go through and read and comment on articles written by my connections when I can, but I don't read any of the mail in the Gather Inbox. I get hundreds of emails in there, and they are all self-advertisements. I would rather go through and read what interests me, and leave comments for those people. Shoot, I've not been on here much at all in the past year, and I have come back and been commenting like crazy, but when I publish anything, I get maybe four responses...
J W. Jan 14, 2008, 8:54am EST
I've noticed that too
Gavin Berryman Jun 25, 2009, 9:33pm EDT

More connections, more gather points?

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