by Bridget ♥
Member since:
September 18, 2006

I don't care if she's family, she's not welcome in my home

February 26, 2009 12:34 AM EST (Updated: February 26, 2009 12:52 AM EST)
views: 171 | comments: 58

Wow!  I know we all have family members that are not always liked, for lack of a better word.  We can pick our friends but we can't pick our family. 

A little over a year ago, we had some issues with my husband's brothers wife.  We voiced our opinions and they didn't talk to us for nearly a year.  Which is totally fine with us, there were no hard feelings at all on our end.  For months my husband would call to talk to his brother but he would never return his calls.

My husband and his brother started talking again a couple months ago.  We had yet to talk to or see his wife, YAY!  That was until this past weekend.  One of my husband's other brothers is moving to Texas and another brother had a going away party for him on Sunday.

My husband has 4 brother's and 2 sisters, it's a large family.

The wife we have issues with was there.  Acting like her normal self, which totally drives us insane and not something we tolerate anymore than we have to.  We noticed that two of the other brother's were watching her like a hawk.  Why, we had no idea.

She went outside to smoke and one of the brother's asked if our truck was locked.  Of course it wasn't because we were in the country with no neighbors for miles.  They told us to go lock it which we thought was odd.

Well, come to find out --- the sister in law STOLE some stuff from their house a few weeks ago when they were there visiting and they caught her in the act.  SERIOUSLY?  What a violation of family trust.

They were shocked when she showed up for the going away party.  Her husband said she was going to stay home.  But, she came anyways.  I guess they are better people than my husband and I.  If we ever caught ANYONE stealing from us -- they would not be allowed back in our house.  A person should never feel like they have to be on constant alert while they are at home for goodness sakes.

My husband told his brother that if he wants to come visit that is fine but his wife is NOT welcome in our home!  If they want to meet for dinner, at their house, the moveis, etc. that is fine.  But NOT at our house, NO WAY!

I'm not going to let her make ME feel uncomfortable in my own home!

This stealing episode just adds fuel to the fire of what she did last time she was at our house.  She didn't steal from us but she did something that we don't want at our house or around our children.

If you can't trust your family - who can you trust?  It's a sad world out there, it seems nothing is safe anymore.

 

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Comments: 58

Shirley ♡ ☮ M. Feb 26, 2009, 12:37am EST
Yikes,,,pretty bad when you can't trust your own family. I wouldn't have her anywhere near me or my family.
Steph-in-NE ..... Feb 26, 2009, 12:41am EST
gee and I thought I had the rough family not being rude sorry....
thanks for sharing
Bridget ♥ Feb 26, 2009, 12:43am EST
She most definately crossed a line and it's too late for her to go back!
Jenysie Jane Feb 26, 2009, 12:44am EST
"we had some issues with my husband's wife"...lol...I think you meant brother's wife...but anyway...

I think that you are completely right in not wanting someone who may steal from you in your house, but God wants us to forgive everyone..and even if you don't ever speak to her or look at her again don't harbor bad feelings..that only punishes you....
Also I don't think that it's right to make a man choose between his family and his wife, maybe you could tolerate her for short periods of time in order to salvage the relationship with your husband's brother....
I mean this woman may be satan herself, but your husband's brother chose to marry her which means he loves her...I have problems with my husband's brother's wife, but I overlook them for a greater purpose....It's what God calls me to do, and He gives me the strength and patience to do so...
Nancy * Feb 26, 2009, 12:47am EST
sweetie re-read your second paragraph you had me relly worried for a minute... Yeah some family members can be seriously not nice people... sadly with me it's not the in-laws.
Bridget ♥ Feb 26, 2009, 12:47am EST
LMAO Jenysie! Oh my. Didn't you know that my hubby has another wife?!?!

I'm going to go fix that! Thanks for pointing that out!
Angela A. Feb 26, 2009, 12:48am EST
I've known someone like this. She has to be watched every time she comes to my in law's house. It's really creepy.
Bridget ♥ Feb 26, 2009, 12:51am EST
If they want to meet for dinner, at their house, the moveis, etc. that is fine. But NOT at our house, NO WAY!

I'm not going to let her make ME feel uncomfortable in my own home!
Andrea H. Feb 26, 2009, 12:52am EST
WOW, I would feel the same way you steal from me you are no longer welcome in my home and I don't want you around at all!
Lisa B. Feb 26, 2009, 12:56am EST
thats really crappy that you have to deal with stuff like that:(
Shaunee C. Feb 26, 2009, 1:02am EST
That is really bad when you can't trust family.
Wow! I agree with you guys, try to keep her away from your home.
Janet "Jax" B. Feb 26, 2009, 1:03am EST
Wow, she wouldn't be allowed at our house either.
Happy New Year Nuggets Feb 26, 2009, 1:11am EST
maybe she needs drug money, lol, kiddin, I dunno i'd avoid her too.
Bridget ♥ Feb 26, 2009, 1:12am EST
Don't even get me started on that issue Kirk!
Rodney R. Feb 26, 2009, 1:23am EST
You have just been the victim of a Drive By Rating!
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Donna T. Feb 26, 2009, 1:35am EST
What's her problem, anyway? Does she steal b/c she needs the money for a gambling addiction, or drugs or what? Or is it the stealing that she's addicted to?
Bridget ♥ Feb 26, 2009, 1:38am EST
She's stealing to feed her "other" addictions. I'm not going to go into specific personal details on the issues though.
Larry H. Feb 26, 2009, 1:39am EST
I HAVE A HALF BROTHER AND STEP SISTER AND BROTHERS I HAVE ONLY SEEN ABOUT 3 OR 4 TIMES ON OVER 40 YEARS. I AM THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY. WASN'T WANTED BY MY MOTHER, HATED BY HER AND MY STEP FATHER AND THE REST OF THE KIDS. HAD TWO STEP SISTERS, ONE GOT MURDERED MY HER BOY FRIENDS GRANDFATHER. HER SHOT HIS GRANDSON IN THE BACK AND THE BULLET WENT THROUGH HIM AND KILLED HER TOO. ME AND THE SISTERS GOT ALONG GOOD WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER. JUST AFTER WE WENT OUT ON OUR OWN WE NEVER SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN.. I ONLY LIKE THE SISTER ANYWAYS. I HEARD MY HALF BROTHER HAD CANCER, HIS FAMILY NEVER CALLED OR ANYTHING TO TELL ME SO.
William Dotani Feb 26, 2009, 1:48am EST
I have cousins I will not let in my house because I can't trust them. I just ignore them. I would tell anyone I did not want at my house to stay at a hotel and we could go out to a restaurant
or
go to a rodeo and someway get your unwanted guest strapped to a bull. Yee haw!!!
Shannon H. Feb 26, 2009, 2:43am EST
I'm sorry that your husband has this added strain on his relationship with his brother.
Jill~Sexy Back~ V. Feb 26, 2009, 2:43am EST
Wow! That's crazy! The good thing though is that she's technically an in-law...not your real family.
Bridget ♥ Feb 26, 2009, 2:45am EST
You got that right Jill!
APE 131313 Feb 26, 2009, 3:11am EST
Ahhh, the joys of family. Bummer!
This comment is to let you know that this content has reached at least ten comments, and as such has been removed from Comment Speedway! Congratulations!
Clota W. Feb 26, 2009, 4:35am EST
There is always at least ONE bad sheep in every family. I'm just sorry you had to deal with her being around you and your children!
Ariel Storm Feb 26, 2009, 5:30am EST
I'm sorry you have to deal with her at all.
Leah Christensen Feb 26, 2009, 5:37am EST
I think you did the RIGHT thing!
Cindy B. Feb 26, 2009, 5:37am EST
You never said what she did at your house or what she stole, lol. Not that it matters, but it was an interesting read. I am just curious =)
Infinity M. Feb 26, 2009, 5:49am EST
she sounds like she must b a very sad (miserable?) person.
I too have a few of my in laws who are not welcome in our home by either myself or my husband. It happens, they picked them and you're expected to put up with them. Uh, no, we don't play that either.
Lune Wolfsong Feb 26, 2009, 6:45am EST
Sad situation, but you're more than justified.
Amy just hangin' out M. Feb 26, 2009, 7:01am EST
my husband has a cousin that has stolen medication from family members. my FIL to this day does not trust him at all.
Melanie S. Feb 26, 2009, 7:07am EST
Ugh, that makes things so hard. I have a cousin like this. I love her to death but she hasn't been allowed in my house in about 10 years. Not only does she have some of the stickiest fingers in the world, but she told some very malicious lies about my family after we let her stay with us for 2 weeks (and no one else in the family would let her stay).
Stacey *Mamasaid* D. Feb 26, 2009, 7:33am EST
I agree with the decision to meet on "neutral grounds". If you totally shut her out, it could put a strain on your relationship with your brother so that's a good idea. I completely agree you should not feel uncomfortable in your own home or like you have to be on guard - it's your home.
☃ Aunt Shanny Feb 26, 2009, 7:51am EST
I am the same way. It's MY house and I decide who gets to come in.

If we had family or friends that don't like dogs they don't need to come over. Hasn't happened yet, I am from a family of dog lovers, especially pittys!
MrsRoad Runner Feb 26, 2009, 8:54am EST
No one pressed charges?

I SO agree with you! Why allow yourself to be a target?
j - Frugal Mom - r. Feb 26, 2009, 9:26am EST
Definitely keep her out of your house.
Ashley Prince Feb 26, 2009, 9:45am EST
Wow! I agree... i'd keep her away from my family and out of my house!!
Walker Bennett, SF Author Feb 26, 2009, 9:49am EST
It definitely sounds like some of my DIRECT relatives. Brother or not, I would cut all ties there b ecause of his bad judgement.
Whitney A. Feb 26, 2009, 10:22am EST
It is sad when you can't trust members of your own family. My family has had problems with that too with my one uncle who treated my grandma like dirt because she wasn't his "real" mom even though she raised him since he was 2.
Shawnee G. Feb 26, 2009, 10:38am EST
What a pain to have to deal with. Hopefully she straightens up or your husband's brother gets wise and does not allow her to hurt his family again.
I would want to crawl under a couch of my spouse did something like that...
Sandy C. Feb 26, 2009, 10:59am EST
I have several family members that I do not trust. I don't do family events where I would have to have them at my house.
Wilma M. Feb 26, 2009, 12:11pm EST
I think meeting on neutral ground is the only option. It's a shame for your brother not to be able to see his brother. Can they get together on their own once in a while? I wouldn't have her in my house either. It's just asking for more problems.
Cortney R. Feb 26, 2009, 1:48pm EST
Wow, I wouldn't trust her either. I don't blame you for not wanting her at your house.
Mimi~cannot please everyone~ G. Feb 26, 2009, 3:42pm EST
Wow. That is too bad your husband's brother doesn't see what she is doing. Maybe if he confronted her about her actions she would be willing to change so your family can have comfortable family gatherings again. Once you lose trust in a person it is near impossible to gain it back.
Dagmara H. Feb 26, 2009, 5:36pm EST
I am sorry you have to deal with this
Diana B. Feb 26, 2009, 5:54pm EST
I have a family member just like yours Bridget! Supposedly he has turned his life around, settled down with someone and wants to make amends, but I still don't trust him as far as I can throw him. What is worse, I don't have any say or get last minute notice that this person is coming over, even though people know exactly what he took from me and what that meant, but we are suppose to be nice to him no matter what because he is a "different" person.
K D. Feb 26, 2009, 11:01pm EST
I was just thinking here about your article and while it's true that you can't choose your family, can choose if you want to socialize with them. We have some family members that we choose not to socialize with and it works out just fine for us.
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Feb 27, 2009, 3:37pm EST
I have some in laws that have sticky fingers. needless to say when I know they will be over. Anything that may be of value gets hid. If she asks how much something costs that I have gotten new. I will tell her some cheap price. So, she doesn't take it.
Jennifer W. Feb 28, 2009, 7:11pm EST
Thanks for sharing. Just letting you know your content has reached 25 comments and has been removed from !!Need More Points!!
golds g. Feb 28, 2009, 7:14pm EST
I'm surprised her husband .....
Heather ~of the Whippets~ M. Mar 1, 2009, 2:28pm EST
Just because someone is biologically or legally related doesn't make that person trustworthy.

Statistically speaking, family members are the ones who are more likely to commit a crime against you. Why do you think that they look at family members first when a child is abducted?
Heather has a good point. I know I've met rank strangers, that I've liked better than some of my family! lol
Paula C. Apr 5, 2009, 5:50pm EDT
I'm in a bit of the same situation, though he hasn't stolen anything from me except for my mother. I desparately want my mother to spend Mother's day with me, yet my step=father is not welcome in my home.
He does not treat my children respectfully, and since my mother refuses to stand up to him, then I don't want him here. Even if I have to give up getting to see her on mother's day.
Paula C. Apr 5, 2009, 5:50pm EDT
Hippity Hoppity Boogity Boo
Dropping by with a 10 for you
Flippity Floppity, Zippity Zee
And a great big HI from Pooh and Me!



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Ron Jenkins Apr 5, 2009, 5:53pm EDT
Wow, you'll be laughing all the way to the Gather bank with this witty, yet touching look at human stuggles. In the meantime, you should put a boot up her ass.
Janie E. Apr 18, 2009, 12:59am EDT
It's sad when you can't trust your own family! I can relate!!

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