Parent Lessons (an ongoing series)

That's not really the lesson, however.

That begins with the notion that kids are acting up because of you. They want attention or they are being grumpy or taciturn because it's aimed at you. Of course, that's because many of us fall into the trap that kids are an extension of us. Their moods reflect on own ability to govern them, manage them, socialize them.

Wrong. Move that ego trip to the side daddy-o.

Sometimes they are sad because, well, they're sad. Sometimes they complain because they feel unsettled. Like we all do. We fail to see that when we're letting the ego rule.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't need to address how they exhibit these moods. We all have to learn that and we can't jettison that role (unless you want wild animals for kids).

But, man, does that ego get in the way of assessing what's going on with the kiddie ... and, boy, does it allow emotion to replace reason. And it also saps away any empathy for the little tyke who is just trying to figure things out.