The fears and concerns of childbirth

I was scared out of my mind!! but i was having a c-section.. so my fears where am i going to make it..I watch too much er and greys LOL!! but it is very normal to be scared but like you said it will be worth it in the end when you hold your little one for the first time!! no other feeling like the way you feel at that time!! I remember it like it was yesterday... my little one is 14 months and I just loveeveryday with her!! you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

When I was in labor with my first child, I told my husband I wanted to go home and forget about having a baby. Like I could:) My body just did what was natural and your will too. I didn't have anything for my three pregnancies and it was worth it. I was worried about what it would do to the baby, but that was just in my head. There's things they can give you to help minimalize the pain. I think your fears are normal because although you've seen the videos and you've taken the classes, it's still unknown to you. Just don't fight it. I tried with my first and I made it worse on myself. You'll do fine and I'll keep you in my prayers.

I was not ever scared about the birth but with all three of my children I was scared that something would be wrong after they were born. Like a heart problem etc. I was really scared with my son who was born in May my husband had served in Iraq and has had some medical problems since he came home. I was afraid that something would be wrong with my son. He was fine. The day after he was born they said they found a heart murmur. It fixed itself within 2 weeks and now he is fine.

It is natural to be afraid. It is fear of the unknown. Even with my third I was a little scared due to a scheduled C-section. Any surgery is scary. God bless and congratulations.

You are stronger and more powerful than you think. Keep positive thoughts and affirmations in your mind, keep letting go of the fears. Control what you can of the outer things, then you can surrender to the experience when the time comes.

I am in a similar situation. I am due to have my first baby, a little girl, on January 31st. I am terrified of giving birth, yet at the same time I am impatient and can't wait to have her. It is all quite overwhelming.

I just keep reassuring myself that childbirth is one of the most natural processes in the world and something that every other mammal on the planet has to go through. Yes, there can be complications, but the odds are in your favor that everything will be normal. And with modern medicine, there is very little that the hospital is not equipped to handle.

thanks for all your comments. it helps to know im not alone in my fears and concerns.

I have not experience childbirth yet, but I wish you the very very best. Have you decided on a name yet?

not 100% on a name yet. top 3 are:

Hayden
Kyleigh or Kylee(you were my inspiration on this one kylee s.)
Arrianna

I completely understand why you feel right now! I'm 26 weeks pregnant and although not as close to giving birth as you are, entering my 3rd trimester makes me realize I don't have much time left. Sometimes I feel scared out of my mind. We both know our lives are about to change drastically, even if it's for the better, but it's sooooo scary! Well just know you're not alone, before long I'll be posting this and you'll have to come back and tell me everything is going to be just fine!

being scared/concerned i believe is quiet normal. as people we tend to think too much especially when we feel helpless and not in control of every single detail and every eventful outcome. as a first time mom i had experienced both worlds as it regards to delivery; the good and not so good. and with both experiences i have learnt not to focus too much negative energy on abstract thoughts which may never actually happen...focus on the life growing within and enjoy every blessed moment and look forward to a safe delivery and a happy healthy baby.

I was a little nervous before I had my son. I thought labor would be long and hard, but it really wasn't that bad for me. I even had back labor, and it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected.

As soon as you hold that little girl, any pain you went through will be worth it. When I was pregnant, I would joke with my husband tell him he was carrying the baby for the first 9 months of his life, because I was ready for my back to quit hurting all the time. Once he arrived, I had a hard time letting anyone (including my husband) take him from me for more than a few minutes at a time. He will be 2 in February, and I still cuddle with him a lot everyday. :)

There would probably be something wrong with you if you weren't scared. It's OK to be scared, but childbirth is not fraught with the same dangers it used to be. It's still traumatic and challenging, painful and has some risk.

I have two children and one on the way. Both my existing children I intended to have the epidural, which my friends that had it definitely recommended. Both times, something prevented it. The first time wasn't my fault; the second time I was busy being stoic and then the anesthesiologist wasn't available (my doctor had 4 births in three hours - busy day).

If you are planning to use anesthesia, my advice is, the first time they ask you if you want the epidural, the answer is "Yes." I told my friend this (she was due two weeks after me) and she took it. Because she did, since she needed an emergency C-section, she was able to be awake through the birth and bond with her baby at once.

I just had my son on the 10th, so i know exactly what your feeling, i was scared to death, all the way up till the time i got to hold him, i did it all with no pain meds or anything, and i promise you that as soon as you hold your baby girl for the first time, its like all the pain you felt goes away *mind you it will sneak back and hit you hard later lol* i remember the wait, it was the hardest and scariest thing i've ever had to do, but now that my baby boy is here, i wouldnt of changed any of it (well maybe the part about going to the hospital when i first felt the pain instead of waiting).

Im sure that you'll do just fine :)

When I had my first child, I had a little anxiety. it's just because it's something you've never experienced before. Honestly? Trust your body. It knows exactly what it's doing, even though you don't know what it's doing. Do prenatal yoga every day. Do your kegels 3-4 times a day. My first pregnancy was extremely painful because my son was "sunny side up" and so my labor was extremely long. But my daughter was an entirely different story - 1 hour of labor, and I felt maybe 2 or 3 very painful contractions.
Suggestions: Take all the suggestions for managing your pain and try them all. Do whatever works for you. For me, it was just sitting in the tub in a nice vat of toasty hot water. I sat there and read a book. Massage didn't work; candles didn't work; the tub did. But you're a different person with a different body and a different pregnancy. You might find a heating pad and aromatherapy candles works wonders on you, and by the time you feel something painful, your doc/midwife will be telling you to push!
Ditto times ten goes for a position. The nurses wanted me to lay on my back, but that was the most painful position for me. When I was on all fours, I barely felt a thing. So with my daughter, I was on all fours because that's what my body wanted. So listen to your body and do what works for you.
My suggestion for the epidural: get it if you want it, don't get it if you don't want it. I didn't want one, and got one for my first. I **HATED** it. Never once did anyone say "well, let's just shut it off". So if you get the epidural and don't like it, if they're using a pump, just shut the pump off. Some women love it, some hate it, some are indifferent. Everyone's different.
And everyone's right: Once your baby is in your arms, your don't give a damn about your labor.

My advice don't watch ER LOL I watched an episode where they were putting an epidural into the girls back & she was screaming her head off....yeah it freaked me out!

My experience....

I went to bed that Sunday night & I was expecting to go to work the next day....I woke up & I felt like I had to go to the bathroom...(it was an hour before I normally got up for work) and I rolled over to get out of bed & I felt this GUSH of water! I yelled to my hubby that my water broke & he jumped up & called the hospital & they told us that I could take a shower & that I should be fine....but to come in. So I took a shower & we hurried and packed a little bag LOL! I was so unprepared! And I put a lot of towels & pads etc down so that I didn't leak all over the car. We got to the hospital & I was in labor for 12 hours...they put me on petocin & I didn't want it & I cried because I heard that petocin causes the contractions to be worse....and they were worse! My baby just wasn't dropping. Also the epidurals didn't work on me because I have had rods put in my back & my spine is fused so the drugs wouldn't localize. My sister-in-law came to help & the biggest help was her having me relax my face muscles...it works & it's amazing! So they decided after 12 hours of labor to do a c-section (I wouldn't have it any other way...) they knocked me out because epidurals & spinals didn't work. When I woke up they brought me my baby & he was the sweetest thing! I have had 2 kids now & I look back to when I had my 1st & I wouldn't move from the couch LOL! I was afraid that I would wake the baby up and I was always breastfeeding him! He wouldn't sleep on his back like the doctor suggested. After 2 weeks of no sleep we put him on his tummy & he slept so well! Some babies are just tummy sleepers!

Now with my daughter my water broke...my hubby & I stayed up all night talking & I had a few pains in my tummy, but I figured it was nothing...then I rolled over around 5 AM & my water broke! Yes that was the 2nd time that happened & it was in bed! Line your bed with plastic & towels...just to be safe! We were lucky to read that somewhere & it was good advice for us! With my 2nd kid I am so relaxed & not worried about what will happen to her haha. I went in to the hospital and was in labor for 3 hours & then they did the c-section. The only bad thing was my scar area burned so bad! I swore that I wouldn't have any more kids....but after 2 months I was wanting another baby haha. We haven't had any more since we can't afford them LOL. I really want another one though! Kids are so worth it!

Oh also I breastfed each kid for a year. Just get a good start & get past the 1st 2 weeks & you will be set ;o) I am thankful to my sister-in-law for staying with me a week to make sure I was set.
With my boy I worked until he was 20 months (I pumped at work...talk about sacrifice!) & I quit work when my daughter was born (I wasn't going to do the pumping thing again haha ;o) But it was worth it! My kids are so healthy!).

My advice would be to be open to whatever may happen. I had planned on having an all natural childbirth. I'd done excercises, taken extra classes, and really felt mentally prepared. Two weeks before my due date, she turned breech. All of a sudden, my small intimate birth plan turned to a cold, sterile C-section. Fortunately, I had time to wrap my head around this, and things went really well.
I recovered very quickly, and we were only in the hospital two nights.
Make a plan, but don't be upset if things change - just know that you and the baby ending up healthy is the most important thing!

I was completely freaked out.. Plus, my pain tollerance is horrible. I went into it with high hopes of not using any pain killers or an epidural and after about the first 10 hours of contractions, i was ready for something. I felt better for a bit and was able to get some sleep. Shortly after i woke up those really started to wear off and it was time for the major stuff. Breaking my water and preparing for the rest. Not long after that i was getting my epidural. (Those are different for every woman. I was able to feel everything and move around, but there wasn't any pain.) Finally, 25 hours after they had first induced me i was able to begin pushing. 2 hours after that I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms. (our first) I was so exhausted and as soon as my eyes were on that baby girl, i completely forgot about the past 27 hours.

Basically, it doesn't matter what happens, once that baby is in your arms, you'll forget everything else. So there's no reason to really fret about it before hand! Good luck and have faith in your body! It knows what it's doing all on it's own (mine did need a little jump start from the docs, but after that it took it all the way!!)

Having a baby IS a life changing and scary event for everyone! THAT is a normal fear. Everyone has offered great advice.